Pushit Out

Not only do I write these blogs because I have nothing meaningful to say it can also be attributed to narcissism. My narcississm is sort of treated by AA which I never attend anymore but at the core of it is that I do not believe in God. I don't even have a higher power. God is dead and we killed him and that is a tragedy. Unless you think the God is dead red pill is one to swallow. I had a choice. I have a choice but both my parents are athiest so there is definitely a side of the position I'm going to trend towards.

It can be difficult to live in a world without the structure of God or a meaning. My meaning seems to be as simple as reading and understanding. It's more than just reading a book we have to understand these books.

I remember I read The Prince by Machiavelli. I did not want the world to be that way. I threw the book away. My brain could not handle the truth.

Would you like the blue pill or the red pill?

Sometimes we see something and can never turn back. I am talking truly red pilled in the sense of the Matrix not some bullshit like MAGA is going to save the world.

I think as a blanket I put too much expectations on books, on everything. Not every book is going to be a red pill. Going out to play trivia is just something to do on a Thursday night. Not some spiritual experience. I should not even expect to be happy.

Do you believe in Hamlet? Do you believe in God?

God, I want power!

I don't particularly want responsibility though. Power is owning responsibility.

What am I capable of? How can I be useful?

On August 22 2024 20:41 RiKD wrote: God, I want power! I don't particularly want responsibility though. Power is owning responsibility. What am I capable of? How can I be useful?

Money is power.

Good luck on your journey.

I felt powerful when I was getting good at Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and shooting guns. Besides those activities being not cheap they have nothing to do with money (or with responsibility).

What I really want is liberty and independence.

No porn. No sports. No red v blue political circus. I'm expanding my mind man.

Can I do it? Can I make a comeback? I don't think it's about a comeback. It's not make RiKD great again. It's Make RiKD Greater (MRG). I'm down 50 lbs. and got a haircut and feelin' good. There is no getting back my 20s or 30s but it's not over for me yet. I am getting up at 7am and reading so much that I had to get eye drops for dryness. It's about consistency though. Always has been. The problem still remains what I am going to do for 40+ hours / week to get money?

There are other considerations than just money but that is an important one. Where can I actually build myself and increase confidence? Learn skills that actually matter? Do stuff that doesn't kill my soul?

It's funny I recently read the comic book Berserk (Book 1) and Book 2 is the first thing I want to buy when I get some money. There is no liberty and independence with being broke.

Thanks to whoever fixed the site.

But, where is everybody?

I see you are spending your time and attention elsewhere. What are you doing instead?

On August 23 2024 04:57 PuertoRican wrote: Show nested quote + On August 22 2024 20:41 RiKD wrote: God, I want power! I don't particularly want responsibility though. Power is owning responsibility. What am I capable of? How can I be useful? Money is power.

Seize him!.
Cut his throat,
Stop, Wait I changed my mind let him go.
Step back three steps,
Turn around

Been just chilling enjoying the last bit of summer so weather been nice, nature a lot

On August 23 2024 04:57 PuertoRican wrote: Show nested quote + On August 22 2024 20:41 RiKD wrote: God, I want power! I don't particularly want responsibility though. Power is owning responsibility. What am I capable of? How can I be useful? Money is power. Good luck on your journey.

Power resides where men believe it resides.

On August 31 2024 22:45 Baalim wrote: Show nested quote + On August 23 2024 04:57 PuertoRican wrote:   On August 22 2024 20:41 RiKD wrote: God, I want power! I don't particularly want responsibility though. Power is owning responsibility. What am I capable of? How can I be useful? Money is power. Seize him!. Cut his throat, Stop, Wait I changed my mind let him go. Step back three steps, Turn around

Power resides where men believe it resides. Currency is a trick. A shadow on the wall. And two gold cloaks demanding 15 gold a piece for every bribe can cast a very large shadow.

On September 01 2024 14:29 Stroggoz wrote: Show nested quote + On August 23 2024 04:57 PuertoRican wrote:   On August 22 2024 20:41 RiKD wrote: God, I want power! I don't particularly want responsibility though. Power is owning responsibility. What am I capable of? How can I be useful? Money is power. Good luck on your journey. Power resides where men believe it resides.

Men and women both believe that the more money you have, the more powerful you are. You automatically get more respect if people think you have a lot of money.

Get your money up, kid!

On September 01 2024 19:27 PuertoRican wrote: Show nested quote + On September 01 2024 14:29 Stroggoz wrote:   On August 23 2024 04:57 PuertoRican wrote:   On August 22 2024 20:41 RiKD wrote: God, I want power! I don't particularly want responsibility though. Power is owning responsibility. What am I capable of? How can I be useful? Money is power. Good luck on your journey. Power resides where men believe it resides. Men and women both believe that the more money you have, the more powerful you are. You automatically get more respect if people think you have a lot of money. Get your money up, kid!

What makes you think I value their respect, lmao. Money is only useful for me for basic necessities plus a little extra. Beyond that idc.

Knowledge is power, money is just a tool to have fun unless u control the money supply but it’s not power to me, it’s just evil. Money isn’t everything but without money you are nothing

Power is complex.

The best power is invisible. Like an unconscious, undetected charisma.

Idealism is for suckers. Starting with God. What do we fill these holes with?

I am past my prime. I can feel it physically. There is more to life than physicality. I can grow bitter and resentful or I can try to grow my experience that is life.

I am sick of things because I am sick of myself. I am weary and tired. I'm bored because I am boring.

It's for the better to not even rehash my memories. Not at this time. A past love. That was bumpy but I was alive. When was the last time I laughed?

SOLITUDE. My friend and my foe. My best friend. Where did everybody go? I can tell you they aren't in this room. In these screens.

I am a scared little animal who placates himself with music, art, and books.