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MARSHALL28 United States. Mar 02 2025 00:13. Posts 1897 | | |
I don’t know how many guys from 10-15 years ago still visit these forums. I sure haven’t posted here in a long time. About 10 years ago it seems. Since ChatGPT is now getting extremely good at researching topics, I was curious to ask it what it could find about “marshall28”.
As a result, it led me down some rabbit holes and as I was reading things I said in the past. Looking back at the ways I spoke to others, and just the many random cringe things I said, I’ve been forced to reflect on the type of person I was.
If I was honest enough with myself back then, my explanation for acting the way I did was that ‘I never felt like I got the respect I deserved.’
Looking at it now though, it’s quite a bit worse than that. Everything I said was some sort of attempt to manipulate others into respecting my abilities. I felt that I needed to be validated by other people, that what other people thought of me was as important as anything. Looking at the way I would just insult swaths of people (or anyone really)—which I’d basically never do today—I can just see how attention seeking I was in a way that I tried really hard not to look like I was attention seeking.
I was clearly very desperate and insecure.
The funny thing is, if anyone knew me in person, they knew that I didn’t act like I would on these forums or on 2p2, however, that fact doesn’t make it any less of a massive personality flaw that took years to work through and overcome.
Over the years, mostly in my personal life, I’ve had so many people take from me, or just use me, and I finally had to come to terms with the fact that we all are just doing what we think is best at the time. I realized that holding any grudges against any of these people, even ones who had done things others might deem unforgivable, was just harming me. As a result, I’ve learned to no longer hold anything against anyone.
So, I rubbed a lot of people on here the wrong way. It’s totally fair to think whatever you’d like of me. It’s not really my business what anyone thinks of me anyways, and if you are one of those I’m speaking to, I think you probably had a good reason for feeling that way. We’re all just learning as we go along.
I don’t hold anything against you, or anybody anymore really.
Hope everybody is doing well and wish you best of luck.
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| | Last edit: 02/03/2025 00:20 |
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hey Marshall I don't think anyone holds any grudges lol we are too old for that now, I never had a grudge with u. good times in Vegas even though u busted the main event was fun. GL in life bud |
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