Stimmung und Stimming

I haven't even quoted Baudrillard yet. Besides: "What are you doing after the orgy?" ("Going to the masked ball".

Here is one that relates to my last blog post:

"Is there still a form of the Other as destiny, and not merely as a psychologoical or social partner of convenience?" (Baudrillard)

I've been tinkering with Chat GPT and it's pretty good.

"Bonus (Not Baudrillard, but Same Edge):
E.M. Cioran – The Trouble with Being Born
Aphorisms that read like post-Baudrillard existential poetry. Pure black hole energy.

Byung-Chul Han – The Burnout Society
A slim, sharp book about how we’ve moved from repression to self-exploitation. Very Baudrillard-influenced, but filtered through late capitalist psychology."

"You seem drawn to that hollow center—where meaning is gone, but the awareness of its absence stays."

After hitting a brick wall on chest, and back, and to a lesser extent legs, and shoulders I've decided to take 5-7 days off at the gym depending on how I feel. I am getting over a stomach illness which I guess coincided nicely with some days off. I miss the post-workout vibes but I don't miss the actual gym yet so it seems wise to take some days off. I am not even sure what I am going to do when I get back. I guess I have some days to consider.

A: What is that?

B: That is a bottle brush tree.

A: Is it real?

B: Maybe.

A: Is the statement: That bottle brush tree over there is real, True or False?

B: True. Possibly. Maybe it would be better if we called it lowercase true. It's an interpretation(Nietzsche)

A: It exists filtered through my perception. It must be real.

B: Maybe, possibly, likely. What if it's all dead and nothing remains?

A: I can live authentically! La vie est absurde! Bring it on mother fucker! (Sartre, Camus)

B: What if you don't have any freedom either?

A: Fuck you!

B: Right now I'm smiling, taking advantage of this moment
'Cause there might not be another soon
Holding on to memories like roller coaster handle bars
Tightly, 'cause I'm slightly off my rocker
But to you I may appear to be your average Joe
But little do you know that even Joe got problems that he gots to joust with
Floating in this game of life despite how out of place you may feel
In this race, oh you just can't quit
Ain't that a bitch that be in heat
I'm on the beat like cops
Only cultivate the stable dirt when I skeet my drops
No concentrating knocking other niggas out the box
Why? 'Cause in a sense, see, we all be kind of fly
Just can't be scared to spread your wings, head to better things
Maybe the mockingbird and nightingale they want to sing
Keeping this thing alive, to the table's what we bring
We like hailstorms and blizzards in the middle of the spring
Extraterrestrial, out of this world (Andre 3000, E.T.)

A: Dream or nightmare. Free will or determinism or compatibilism. There is always Andre 3000 and waffles and comfortable desk chairs and blue switch key mechanical keyboards and cats.

This has been my take for like 15 years?

Listen to OutKast and find things to be grateful for?

Existence is a beast and it will eat it all up.

I have been reading too much Baudrillard. I feel like I have to do some math or Boolean values in Python. It's the only thing that feels real.

In [1]: 1+1==2
Out[1]: True

*Sigh of relief*

The sky could be purple tomorrow but at least 1+1=2.

In [2]: not True
Out[2]: False

Hallelujah!

There is meaning in maths!

We killed God.
We killed Reality.
We killed Meaning.

But, you can't kill maths baby!

My life is probably a lot easier if we didn't kill God. I could pray to God. I don't think the Fates care about prayor. I pray to Eros. I pray to the Fates. I pray to Dionysus. Greek Gods are fickle. At least they don't feign interest in caring. They laugh at my pre-destined misfortune.

I stare at a lamp. I've got the lamp. I stare at the lamp and remember I even have the lamp.

I look around at all of these items. Do I have a fetish for my Steinberg UR12 Audio Interface? These items represent me at least materially. What does my soul have to say about all of this? Sometimes it's enough to want to wander off into the forest with a flip phone and a copy of Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia by Delulz and Guattari. I need a "Reality" survival guide that includes more than listening to OutKast and thinking of things I'm grateful for. Maybe that's all it is. Cycling through what works at the time. That sounds too much like being a dopamine slave. I don't know how to win. I don't know if a win is possible. Maybe I can get 4th place out of 10 but what about the 6 people more unfortunate than me? What if 4th place is not good enough?

It gets back to the title of this blog: Stimmung und Stimming (mood and neurodivergent self-stimulation). If I am getting a blow job I don't need to run off and post a blog on LP. It's when I am somber and can not find meaning anywhere that I arrive here. The problem is I am stuck in the self-centered sludge. It is not even a depression. It is more of a malheur. A pre-destined misfortune. I am playing the victim here which at the moment I don't like to do but it is what it is. I am a victim to pre-destined misfortune and really most of us are to some degree. If you are human you are pre-destined for misfortune. On the brightside, my stomach illness is getting better. Ilnesses a lot of the time get better. I'm not necessarily pre-destined for poverty either. Poverty is something that can be improved upon. Illness and poverty, I'm not dead yet.

I have no final form. There is no set strategy.

Authenticity is impossible. Don't even worry about it babe. This blog is a simulation.

You have the "freedom" to choose an identity... HA!

Don't even worry about it babe. This blog is a simulation.

It's all an i l l u s i o n...

We did not kill anything because it never existed.

Of course, I perform to a point but this blog is a sacred ritual. It will die when RiKD dies. Which RiKD is holding on by threads... Maybe, I'll change my name to The Artist Formely Known As RiKD. TAFKAR!

Love,

TAFKAR

I remember Baal told me once to stop chasing meaning because it does not exist. I thought I could find it like I thought I could win some little doodad at that carnival arcade crane claw game.

Authenticity is impossible. My personality is a fad.

How's the month of April going for you so far?

On April 17 2025 06:04 PuertoRican wrote: How's the month of April going for you so far?

Overcoming inertia in entropy.

Is it possible?