Joke:
A bear asks a rabbit "do you have trouble with shit getting stuck to your fur?"
"No," replied a confused bunny.
"ok" said the bear, who then picked up the bunny and wiped his ass with it.
Analysis from Dr Cragglehold, phd. when someone named Drew asked if a bear would wipe his ass with a bunny
1. What kinds of furry animals might a bear be capable of picking up?
2. Would a bear even wipe his bum when finished pooping?
Lets start with #1:
Bears, physically speaking are capable of picking up all sorts of animals. As bears have large claws, it is therefore important to ask whether some animals are to small to remain constituted within the bear’s mighty grasp. Something the size of a squirrel, for instance, would undoubtedly be crushed by the bears grasp after having been impaled by his claws. This would make a squirrel more useful to a bear for, say, rubbing on his skin and fur as a salve.
Something the size of a wolf, however, would survive being picked up and would most likely be thrashing around painfully like a large electric toothbrush.
As your rabbit, Drew, is in between the two sizes, I imagine the rabbit would not be crushed by the bear, but only stunned. If the bear proceeded to wipe his bum with the unconscious bunny, and we will assume that he would, the bunny would make a most effective recepticle for his extraneous waste. Later, I imagine, the rabbit would wake up, shake himself (or herself) off, and bound off merrily into the forest, covered in shit, as most rabbits do.
Part 2: Would a bear even wipe his bum when finished pooping?
Yesterday, Drew, the answer was maybe. But I have spent the morning testing this hypothesis. At five thirty, my assistant Esq. Peabody and I embarked on an excursion into the forest. We performed an experiment with the black bear we found there. First, we surrounded the sleeping bear with as many tranquilized forest animals as we could find. Then, Esquire Peabody was instructed to wake the bear, and became seriously injured in the process. The bear promptly pooped after having ingested Peabody’s leg, and looked searchingly around at the assortment of animals he found himself the option of using. Confused, he simply started dragging his ass across the ground like a dog, smearing a long line of bear poop across the forest floor. In the process, he inadvertantly wiped across the sparrow, the lemer, and the rabbit. So yes, if our experiment is any indication, a bear would certainly wipe his bum with a rabbit in the forest. |
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Sweden. Jul 18 2011 21:37. Posts 4472
