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I hate my life |
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CrownRoyal   United States. Jun 06 2008 00:22. Posts 11385 | | |
All throughout my life I've been a cocky kid with no real reason to be. My ego is huge, rekrul's ego has little on mine. If I'm doing something _I am the best at it_ Even trying to be the best and not succeeding isn't good enough.
In my life right now however, I'm in last place. I can't fucking do anything right and all the decisions I make are wrong. I have probably 1k in bills i need to pay this month and I wont have money for another two weeks probably. Even when I get that money I won't have enough, great lets feed off of my parents some more. I'm fucking 19 years old and gotta have my parents help me out bleh. Let's rewind here though. While I was growing up I obv knew that I was a lot smarter than your average kid. I excelled at pretty much anything I set my mind to because that's something I had over everyone else. A mind that would upon using it enable me to excel at just about anything. Needless to say my expectations for myself have ALWAYS been way above what they probably should have been. I'm pretty sure if I wanted I could be anything in my life. I could be the president of the united states, I could be a lawyer, wtfever I want. What am I doing right now though? I'm a college dropout without a job and no short term goals or aspirations. I'm fucking worthless, seriously. I wake up, grind poker (which i can't fucking win to save my life in the past month) my friends come over, I play halo/rock band/other random shit and then I grind a bit more and then I go out and get drunk. That is my daily schedule.
Don't get me wrong though... My life is great for what it is, it's not what i fucking want though. I want to be successful, I want to be happy, I want to have goals. I want a fucking reason to live. This brings me to another thing. ALL FEMALES ARE CUNTS. I'm sorry yugless, you seem to be an exception but probably only because i only see things you type. I'm pretty sure I'm so depressed with this early mid-life crisis im going through that the idea of suicide or dying doesn't even phase me. It's the pussy way out and I don't even wanna go there though.
I'm so fucking lazy and worthless I don't think I can ever get anything I want though, I assume I just deserve everything and I shouldn't have to work for it at all. I will never be happy with what I have right now but I don't know how to go about acquiring the things that I desire.
All I want is to be rich, not for the money but for the freedom to do whatever I want with my life. I want my family to all prosper in my wealth. I want to be able to further study the mind and society. I want to be able to write about the things that I know and learn and hopefully share all of it with anyone who would want to know what I had to say. I love helping people, I love learning. I hate college though, I feel like I don't need to be there, I went to my classes in my last semester only on test days and the first day to get a class schedule and passed every single one of my tests with no prior knowledge or any idea as to what the fuck was going on beforehand.
I can't stand working for $10 an hour either, I feel like im being spat on even with the idea of it. I don't know what to do with my life, I hate everything. I'd give anything just to have some direction and happiness in my life.
One time plz lee
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Silver_nz   New Zealand. Jun 06 2008 00:38. Posts 5647 | | |
sounds like its pretty obv what you should do. get a goal (eg. 1million in 5 years in the fastest way possible), get fired up about it, apply all your skills and research to this goal.
but your blocks are lazyness, ego and old habits. well there are books about them too, but eh, its gotta start with you to some extent... |
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Loco   Canada. Jun 06 2008 00:38. Posts 20968 | | |
the president heh? wow
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fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount | |
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Loco   Canada. Jun 06 2008 00:42. Posts 20968 | | |
nah you seriously look very depressed, I can't kick you while your down but your personallity is quite interesting. one day you feel like you were blessed with a gift (your mind) and have a huge ego and the other one you call yourself a loser and a worthless person. to me it just looks like you actually have no clue who you actually are and what you want in life. the latter part isn't all that important at our age, most of us have no idea anyway, the former one matters a lot though |
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fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount | |
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Fayth   Canada. Jun 06 2008 00:44. Posts 10085 | | |
While my ego is probably just as huge as yours, I also think I'm way smarter than your average kid.... I would still never make this kind of post after all the advices you've been given, it was your motherfucking choice to ignore them and to go out and party cuz It makes you so much cooler doesn't it?
I now go out since I have more free time, no need to play poker as much since I make decent money (I think), and guess what? I can pay a shitload of drinks to everyfuckingone without giving a shit about the money, I hope you'll take this advice seriously now, get to fucking work, start fucking working while you build yourself a fucking roll and don't fucking MAKE ANY CASH OUTS UNTIL YOU HAVE AT LEAST 5 000$.
If you don't follow any of these, all you will have mister smarties is your broke self along with your huge ego having to work for someone else's dreams.
that said, Good Luck. |
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Im not sure what to do tomorrow when I see her, should I shake her hand?? -Floofy | |
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H_   New Zealand. Jun 06 2008 00:46. Posts 159 | | |
You sound like me a few months ago. I left school at age 17 to go to university in 2006, and decided after completing a semester that it wasn't what I wanted to do. So I spent the better part of 1.5 years playing games in my parents house. Not really proud of that one, but I finally applied for a job and got an interview which I aced. My mentality is kinda like you in that I am smart and I know it, but I'm too lazy/halfassed to commit to anything and see it through. My whole life has been like that. I didn't even finish high school because I knew I could easily get into university. I finally have some goals though, and they define my life. Really, people say goals are important, but for me they are so important I would not have a reason to live without them. I've never known what I wanted to do after leaving school (even though I thought I did) so I spent a lot of time procrastinating.
Basically, just get a job that you can tolerate (enjoyment is too much to ask for) and continue playing poker. You probably make more money than I do. Establish a set of goals. I personally want to move to Australia with some friends after saving up some money. Your set of goals will define how you live your life. |
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shaneomac   United States. Jun 06 2008 00:48. Posts 4245 | | |
listen, as much as i hate this advice, its very true. the things u have before u, and where u go from here are only what you make of it. something isnt going to drop on ur doorstep, u are going to get what u make of it. if poker is going to be a means of income for u, and u wanna excel @ poker, lose this im better than everyone else attitude cuz its bullshit. quit taking random stakes from people. deposit 300 dollars, and grind 6.50 SNGs, within a week of constant grinding u should be able to move to 16 and 27s with basic knowledge and sense of SNGs. then just do that for a few more months til u get ur feet under you and get ur shit straight then move to cash games and try to learn. post hands and ask for advice. u may be a v smart person, but obv the way u go about things now arent working for you. also only u are going to be able to work on ur tilting issues/ w/e reasons it is u lose. i saw u sit w neilly @ NL100 when u werent that rolled for a lag HU battle and dropped 2-3 BI. all anyone in this thread can do is give u advice, but until u make a conscious effort to change it rly doesnt matter what we say. |
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Craigerson   United States. Jun 06 2008 00:57. Posts 1281 | | |
endless vacuum
find jesus |
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100Large   Canada. Jun 06 2008 00:57. Posts 359 | | |
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i really want the coke and the money but ill settle for your necklace | |
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lostaccount   Canada. Jun 06 2008 01:11. Posts 6258 | | |
you may be smarter than the average person in this world but this doesnt entitle you to win at poker. Every winning poker player (except some luckbox donkamentt winners) are smarter than your average person in this world.
It doesnt seem like you want to win at poker bad enough.
Gl man but i really think you have to give poker a break.
You have played poker for 3 years and still havent progressive much.
I know you said you dont want a real job but i suggest you get one. |
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Tian xia tai ping, Paradise on earth as in heaven la belle vie | |
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ahk88   United States. Jun 06 2008 01:47. Posts 635 | | |
go back to school and get a degree. any college degree> hs diploma |
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ggplz   Sweden. Jun 06 2008 02:48. Posts 16784 | | |
You obv dont realise it but getting a job is the best thing you can do and its the smart thing to do in this situation (and your previous situations, think about it). If you EVER want to win decent money from poker you need to get other income supporting you while its still in its hobby stage which you've never gotten out of properly imo. Imo you should focus on becoming great at something outside of poker and just keep poker on the sidelines to see what develops. |
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if poker is dangerous to them i would rank sports betting as a Kodiak grizzly bear who smells blood after you just threw a javelin into his cub - RaiNKhAN | |
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exalted   United States. Jun 06 2008 03:00. Posts 2918 | | |
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exalted from teamliquid :o | |
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CrownRoyal   United States. Jun 06 2008 03:24. Posts 11385 | | |
I'm definitely narcissistic but I'm one of the most empathetic people I know or, maybe i'm so narcissistic that im blinded and not really empathetic
rofl |
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CrownRoyal   United States. Jun 06 2008 03:31. Posts 11385 | | |
god just looking at all of the disorders on wikipedia im convinced i have all of them
seriously, this is a pretty bad deal |
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Pokemyface   Australia. Jun 06 2008 03:38. Posts 762 | | |
you put your mind to poker, and yet you haven't "excelled"=beat? |
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YoMeR   United States. Jun 06 2008 03:42. Posts 12438 | | |
You are not special, you are not talented, you are just another guy. I see you are just starting to figure that out. I think everyone does. Just be goddamn thankful you have friends, a warm place to stay, food in your belly and can click a fucking mouse for a living. |
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ggplz   Sweden. Jun 06 2008 04:05. Posts 16784 | | |
You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else... and we are all part of the same compost pile.
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if poker is dangerous to them i would rank sports betting as a Kodiak grizzly bear who smells blood after you just threw a javelin into his cub - RaiNKhAN | Last edit: 06/06/2008 04:06 |
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tloapc   Pitcairn. Jun 06 2008 04:13. Posts 2591 | | |
lol ggplz
but this is why when I have kids, no matter how rich I am I'm throwing their ass out when they hit 18
then take em back in after 5 years or so depending, and then help em with what they want then, not before |
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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. | |
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PplusAD   Germany. Jun 06 2008 05:12. Posts 7180 | | |
lol
I guess u just realized that ure a normal guy
And u cant deal with it yet.
Happens to everyone when we get older |
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U see what i did there with A8 ? He 4 bets and there we go insta jam A8 : ---booooom -- . hahahaha ( Krantz) | |
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Poker Streams | |
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