i sharted!!!

1st!!

hahah

I wonder why you share this story with us

9 years ago, i was 15 and playing starcraft and back then all i lost was a ladder game. this experience was a lot like playing starcraft. i was protoss, my opponent was zerg, i early expo'ed, he 9 pool+fast speed upg for lings and ran his lings by my photons.

PvZ FE in 1999

u sir were ahead of your time

lol ive sharted once, its fucking awkward and i was outside walking 2 friends and we were like 10 minutes away from my home so all i said was that i really needed to go home and then i just walked like i hadn't bombed my underpants with shit

its fun afterwards tho, haha

ROFL, such random toilet humor ^_^_^

hahahaha

On November 30 2008 17:11 PplusAD wrote: Show nested quote + 9 years ago, i was 15 and playing starcraft and back then all i lost was a ladder game. this experience was a lot like playing starcraft. i was protoss, my opponent was zerg, i early expo'ed, he 9 pool+fast speed upg for lings and ran his lings by my photons. PvZ FE in 1999 u sir were ahead of your time

was a metaphor. the zerg rush getting past my choke was the shit in my boxers getting past my anus lol

please, back in 1999 i was going 4 gate goon, expo twice, carriers vs all races lol

haha I almost sharted last night. I was in bed with the wife and I was like OMG I HAVE GAS and she was like LET IT RIP but then I thought hmm better go to the bathroom for this. I went and OMG CLEANUP AISLE 7

OMFG !!! HAHA epic entry 5 stars !!!!

such an epic fucking post.. this needs to be bumped once a year if not more

wow your wife said to let it rip, thats quite the awesome wife
more pics of wife?

1. ask for a take out plastic bag
2. wrap favorite boxers in bag
3. bring bag/boxers home and run it in the washing machine
4. ???
5. PROFIT!!!

IMO

On November 30 2008 17:53 gawdawaful wrote: wow your wife said to let it rip, thats quite the awesome wife more pics of wife?

MORE pics of wife?

where the fck are the originals how did i miss thissss

On November 30 2008 17:28 Daut wrote: Show nested quote + On November 30 2008 17:11 PplusAD wrote:   9 years ago, i was 15 and playing starcraft and back then all i lost was a ladder game. this experience was a lot like playing starcraft. i was protoss, my opponent was zerg, i early expo'ed, he 9 pool+fast speed upg for lings and ran his lings by my photons. PvZ FE in 1999 u sir were ahead of your time was a metaphor. the zerg rush getting past my choke was the shit in my boxers getting past my anus lol please, back in 1999 i was going 4 gate goon, expo twice, carriers vs all races lol

I am aware of that
Nobody did FE vs Z in 1999

LOL. Nice story.

thx sir, you loled me

i really can`t see how this story is interesting/funny or deserves to be heard in any way.... and there are several guys already admiring it lol

On November 30 2008 19:10 Svetoslav wrote: i really can`t see how this story is interesting/funny or deserves to be heard in any way.... and there are several guys already admiring it lol

because daut is a god on this site so he can say/do whatever and ppl love it, myself included

I`ma start a facebook group "I bet i can find at least one more sane person who doesn`t enjoy a story about shit only because its told by Daut"

SICKO

then why waste your time in here? Why don't you go cure cancer or something?

On November 30 2008 19:10 Svetoslav wrote: i really can`t see how this story is interesting/funny or deserves to be heard in any way.... and there are several guys already admiring it lol

Shart is the shit yo!

Oh dear god BigBalls this happened to me a few months ago at work...

I think I know the culprit too... my girl had been a little backed up, so she bought some fiber (the powder stuff you mix up into drinks). Natural curiosity getting the better of me, I ate a little bit of it just to see what it tasted like.

Anyhow, I think it was the next day, and I'm sitting at work... I have an office job, so I'm at my desk in front of my computer doing whatever. Much like you, I'm an aficionado of flatulance, and there exist few greater feelings in the world than relieving some built-up pressure. I've been blowing wind all day, so there was no need for any alarm; I assumed all was well. I made sure the coast was clear and let my bowels do their thing...

At first, I just felt some warmth. My mind started racing... "did something come out? Did I just... SHIT myself?!?". I shifted my weight a little bit, there was definitely a liquid substance down there. Fuck. I look around... luckily, this time of night there are few people still here... I make a quick b-line for the nearest bathroom, which thankfully is only a mere 30 feet away.

I lock the door and drop my pants to survey the damage... immediately, I spot the putrid, yellowish, liquid substance which is currently soaking into my boxers and dripping down my asscheeks/legs (one of the few times I'm glad I'm so hairy; it caused the liquid to clump up instead of running all down my legs, minimizing the spread of the damage). The stuff smells bad too, like the inner odors of my intestines were cleaned out and are now looking right back at me. I clean up as much as I can with toilet paper and start plotting my next move... weighing my options, I settle on a plan of action.

I make it back to my desk, open up a drawer and empty out a brown paper bag of condiments I keep. I take the bag and head to the first floor; there is a bathroom down here which is really offbeat and secluded, and has one of those massive handicap stalls so the thing is fucking huge and has a ton of room for maneuvering. I strip off my jeans and still-wet boxers, put the boxers in the bag, clean up some more, and take the boxers out to my car. I go back upstairs and finish the rest of my shift commando.

When I got home that night I let my fiancee know what happened, and to this day I still haven't heard the end of it.

nice story daut. keep it up! gl lol

daut--should put boxers in a doggy bag and take it home

if they are indeed your favorite boxers you should've tried everything to salvage them!

i wonder if antonius has ever sharted

On November 30 2008 20:34 chris wrote: i wonder if antonius has ever sharted

yes but only cash comes out.

hahahahaa, same with Ivey probly. High-stake sharters!

On November 30 2008 20:36 Fox wrote: Show nested quote + On November 30 2008 20:34 chris wrote: i wonder if antonius has ever sharted yes but only rainbows and unircorns come out

fyp

i sharted recently

oh this is yomer

wtf is this account lawl

i thought the OP was TheHuHu...

wait wait i got a better one



tubdaut is now a meme

lol, u lost against poo

On November 30 2008 19:35 Svetoslav wrote: I`ma start a facebook group "I bet i can find at least one more sane person who doesn`t enjoy a story about shit only because its told by Daut"

lol yea... i'll join it

You have to be really balla to say you sharted and have a fanclub about it

i've sharted twice in my life too. In my world it has been known as a "wet fart"

The first time i hadn't even been aware such a thing existed. I was like 19 or something and I was on my like first or 2nd date with this chick. Needless to say, i excuse myself. I am in the bathroom for about half an hour because it's a fucking bitch to clean up my pants. I threw the underwear in a trashcan. Anyway I was sucessfully able to clean the pants but couldn't get rid of a wet spot, like a fucking huge wet spot. Too bad it wasn't raining or something, it was damn obvious. I came back and she was like

"wtf were u doing for 30 minutes"

After leaving, i had to make sure she didn't see my back, i think she was suspicious but whatever, it was a fun time


2nd time, i was borrowing my friend's pants (without permission) I was very far away from home and walking to this guy's house that i had just met like 10 minutes before, he was a friend of my friend. So it was the three of us and just during that walk it happened. It was another 15 fucking minutes walk to get to his place which is utterly disgusting as you can imagine. I told them what had happened when it happened and went to wash up and even took a shower at the dude's place lolz. I cleaned my pants and boxers by hand and walked down with a towel. I put them in the dude's dryer and chilled in my towel. His roommate came in with some chicks and asked what's up with the towel so i met a bunch of people and my first story to them was "yea i just had a wet fart"

was more funny then awkward though

On December 01 2008 06:04 Steal City wrote: i've sharted twice in my life too. In my world it has been known as a "wet fart" The first time i hadn't even been aware such a thing existed. I was like 19 or something and I was on my like first or 2nd date with this chick. Needless to say, i excuse myself. I am in the bathroom for about half an hour because it's a fucking bitch to clean up my pants. I threw the underwear in a trashcan. Anyway I was sucessfully able to clean the pants but couldn't get rid of a wet spot, like a fucking huge wet spot. Too bad it wasn't raining or something, it was damn obvious. I came back and she was like "wtf were u doing for 30 minutes" After leaving, i had to make sure she didn't see my back, i think she was suspicious but whatever, it was a fun time 2nd time, i was borrowing my friend's pants (without permission) I was very far away from home and walking to this guy's house that i had just met like 10 minutes before, he was a friend of my friend. So it was the three of us and just during that walk it happened. It was another 15 fucking minutes walk to get to his place which is utterly disgusting as you can imagine. I told them what had happened when it happened and went to wash up and even took a shower at the dude's place lolz. I cleaned my pants and boxers by hand and walked down with a towel. I put them in the dude's dryer and chilled in my towel. His roommate came in with some chicks and asked what's up with the towel so i met a bunch of people and my first story to them was "yea i just had a wet fart" was more funny then awkward though

i was waiting for this ...

why are people telling stories how they shit themselves and being proud of em ? :D

'Cuz that's the shit man.

wow, sharted story vs apartment/winrate/GF/random brag, this wins soooo bad. its so funny when ppl dont take themselves so seriously!

LOL!!

loved the sc story

LOL !!!

loved the sc story btw

hm weird error

when i was 10 yrs old, i was curled up in a ball out of fear of puking for 6-10hours.
thought a bath would make me feel better.
got naked got the water running and had to take a shit
while sittin on the toilet, i had to puke so i got ooff the toilet and puked into the toilet and at the same time, out of no where, an explosive of brown liquid came out my ass non stop.
when ur puking u can't breath. and i collapse and fell to the floor in my own shit.
not sure if that counts as a shart
it was brown liquid so there were probably alot of air pockets. LMAO

And yeah you just had one of those 24 hour bugs where u shite and puke at the same time, I haven't had one but there was one going around my area a year ago.
Erm GuyRichard I think you've just /endthread.

that sucks

but ithink you got away easy considering what couldv happened

hahahahahaah

my worst shart was right before leaving for skiing, in full snow gear, trying to far really loud to piss off my mom/brother. the joke was on me, much like this time it was on you =)

Since when was shitting on yourself hella sick or ROFL funny? .... have i missed something? This has been a featured blog for like a week now. Come on LP

5/5 obviously