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SakiSaki   Sweden. Mar 19 2009 19:30. Posts 9687 | | |
Well, maybe not as dramatic as it sounds. Basicly I dont have any motivation to play anymore. I had a goal to earn myself enough money to buy myself an appartment before I went back to school. Well, winning the sunday mill sort of took care of that. After the mill win I wanted to give 5/10 a real shot, with my new nice bankoll. I to this day think Im definitely good enough to beat most 5/10 games and definitely most HU regs on both ipoker and prima. Its kinda sad that I am quiting right now as I have such a deep deep understanding of this game. However, my shots at 5/10+ went soso, went good in the beginning but I kinda crashed and burned after that. I ran pretty shitty in alot of key spots and ended up playing my B or even C game way to often. This in combination with my horses running really shitty resulted in my bankroll dwindling and Im not rolled to play 5/10 anymore.
The dream of beating 10/20+ was the only thing motivating me and the hands on 2/4 and 3/6 ive played the last few days have been poorly played overall. Basicly, I have lost the love of the game. To be honest I think I probably lost it a long time ago, but ive keept going because poker for me was a necessary evil, I had to put in a couple of hours a day to pay the rent or to validate my existence or whatever. Well guess what, poker is not a necessary evil anymore. I have money and I have a plan for my life. I see no reason to push myself to play bad regs on 3/6 anymore when all it does is cause me stress and makes me unhappy.
Ive always been happy when running well and feeling bad when running like shit, but what made it all worth it above everything else was that playing poker in it self, regardless of results, made me happy. I enjoyed it imensely and poker is the one single thing I have spent the most time in my life on. More than starcraft, more than any other game/sport/hobby/job.
I have let myself completely drown in poker. During the last 3 years in general but the last 6 months in perticular, I have lived poker. I think about/play/study poker and that is pretty much all I do. Everything else that I do during my days has indirectly been connected to poker, things i deemed necessary to do to keep myself on my A-game. I think its this obsession that has made me as good as I am today, but it has also made me define myself as a poker player, both to myself and people around me. Everyone around me except my best friends and my family view me as "that poker guy", and this puts me on tilt. I remember years ago when I though it would be so cool to be able to say to people that I play poker professionally. Now, I am very reluctant to admit it to new people I meet, because A: people dont understand poker and B: I dont want to be that poker guy.
I have defined myself as a poker player and I want to be more. Poker has made me neglect things I used to do regularily. I have put all my self worth in my ability to destroy people in this game and I have neglected to develope other important characteristics. I dont read as much as I used to. I dont work out as much as I used to. I dont play the piano as much as I used to. I dont spend as much time with my family and friends as I used to. As much freedom as poker has given me, it has also chained me down in other ways. Im kinda like the guy/girl that where the most good looking/most popular in high school, neglecting to develope character and qualities because they are the king of the world and then five years later you see them working in the supermarket.
When you define your own life and person through poker, your selfworth and your self confidence will swing along with the natural swings in the game and that is for me unacceptable. I dont want to work in the proverbial supermarket.
Now this blog post probably makes things sound worse than they really are, but I made my decision 2 hours and I have been feeling genuine happiness since then. I am quiting poker. I leave about 20k online for now, uninstall all my poker programs and move on to other things. I wont go back to poker until I have found the love to play the game again. Until I feel the urge to play the game and not the urge to just win money I wont play a single hand of poker.
I will keep coaching, I will keep backing my horses and I will still frequent these forums alot so not much will change in that department. I just wont play. As for ept and Vegas I am still undecided. I might still go and I might not.
This is the end.
For now.
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what wackass site is this nigga? | Last edit: 20/03/2009 18:26 |
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MezmerizePLZ   United States. Mar 19 2009 19:34. Posts 2598 | | |
I feel the same as you in a lot of ways, esp w/ the freedom but being chained down |
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Luckb0xx   Germany. Mar 19 2009 19:39. Posts 2069 | | |
Well this is up to you, but I'm sure you'll be back one day!
Take care and see you later!  |
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all_in_4tw   Canada. Mar 19 2009 19:39. Posts 4515 | | |
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I sometimes fold AA preflop to balance my range | |
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Fayth   Canada. Mar 19 2009 19:43. Posts 10085 | | |
well have fun i guess, pretty sure u'll play every once in a while still |
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Im not sure what to do tomorrow when I see her, should I shake her hand?? -Floofy | |
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collegesucks   United States. Mar 19 2009 19:43. Posts 5780 | | |
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QuirkyEric   Slovakia. Mar 19 2009 19:44. Posts 308 | | |
its not long time ago when i read a blog post from you "starting playin poker profesionaly for a living" now after a while ur ending it cuz u already have enough money. What can i say...
GG sir. |
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Je ti 31 let a umíš akorát klikat myší, vzpamatuj se -Daniel Havlík | |
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NewbSaibot   United States. Mar 19 2009 19:44. Posts 4946 | | |
Those who cant do, teach. You should take on more pet projects the way you did with k2o4. If you cant be happy playing the game yourself, be happy giving other people the gift to play the game. |
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TheTrees   United States. Mar 19 2009 19:48. Posts 1592 | | |
what he said...teach me, lol |
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Zalfor   United States. Mar 19 2009 19:53. Posts 2236 | | |
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whamm!   Albania. Mar 19 2009 19:55. Posts 11625 | | |
i agree that this kind of freedom does kinda suck on so many levels too 
you can't really leave your "work stress" at the offc for one lol |
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thewh00sel   United States. Mar 19 2009 20:00. Posts 2734 | | |
gl i guess, just make all ur friends poker friends, boom done. it's like any job, people charactarize you for your job regardless. Bill the teacher, jim the doctor, Jew the banker, etc. naturally the higher up you get in any profession, the more you can only be happy around people within that profession. CEOs hang out with other ceo's and super rich people, doctors with other doctors who understand what the other person does. You will feel the way you feel now about whatever you end up doing if you become successful enough at it. |
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A government is the most dangerous threat to man’s rights: it holds a legal monopoly on the use of physical force against legally disarmed victims. - Ayn Rand | |
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Uptown   . Mar 19 2009 20:02. Posts 3557 | | |
Looking forward to welcoming you back in the future.
But for now, GL  |
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Uptown   . Mar 19 2009 20:03. Posts 3557 | | |
whoosel speaks the sad but true fact about people congregating towards similar people |
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Loco   Canada. Mar 19 2009 20:06. Posts 20997 | | |
what's with the 'i guess' guys? the guy wants a break from poker and it almost seems like you find it offending by saying 'i guess'. just wish the man good luck... |
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fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount | |
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Gawuss   Poland. Mar 19 2009 20:17. Posts 2336 | | |
very well-written SakiSaki, have a happy life without poker, I actually understand your decision
gl
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When people ask: What nationality is this guy raking in all the pots? The answer invariably comes back Poland, Poland. Again and again - Karma | |
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bane   United States. Mar 19 2009 20:47. Posts 2379 | | |
good luck saki i wish you well and honestly jew the banker made me laugh |
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Twisted   Netherlands. Mar 19 2009 20:55. Posts 10422 | | |
I have felt the same in different periods of my poker career where I basically slummed. Right now I'm actually going through one of those. I'm on an unstoppable downswing (or so it seems) and I'm not enjoying poker. What helps me is working on sideprojects and making videos for Dutch Pokerstrategy and stuff so I can still earn good money while not playing poker.
Actually the thing about poker is that you are never satisfied with the level you are at. At least this counts for me. Everytime I reach a milestone I'm very happy but that feeling pretty goes away when it becomes common place and I yearn for bigger results even though it becomes harder and harder. Like I'm making good money on poker and it's so unreal that I can just do shit all and still make shitloads but I'm still not satisfied. Whatever I'm just rambling right now. Poker can definitely get in your head and to lead a balanced life with poker is extremely hard.
Good luck Anders with whatever you want to do. Keep in touch though, even if you're not gonna play the EPT it can still be fun flying out there to meet up with the poker crowd (kinda like I did hah). I enjoyed meeting you in Copenhagen and wish you all the best for the near future. |
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| Last edit: 19/03/2009 20:58 |
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Bluffed1331   United States. Mar 19 2009 21:00. Posts 246 | | |
These posts are very depressing for me b/c saki is somewhat an lp hero and i still remember watching his first video 2-3 years back. This video increased my poker knowledge 2-3 fold and helped me immensely at the time..... and to see him become exhausted with poker....sucks. gl dude. have fun with real life. |
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PowerHausAA   United States. Mar 19 2009 21:13. Posts 29 | | |
i agree on every level saki........i just havent won a sunday million or bought an apartment otherwise id take the same route |
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JYang   United States. Mar 19 2009 21:17. Posts 2669 | | |
i do share ur thoughts and etc
i moved on also.
good luck. its better to take a long break and eventually u'll prolly be back.
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SpasticInk   Sweden. Mar 19 2009 22:00. Posts 6298 | | |
I think a lot of people can identify what SakiSaki posted, but still keep on playing chasing some delusional dream.
Very well written and good luck with everything else. It's good to prioritize what's important in life and what is not. |
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Silver_nz   New Zealand. Mar 19 2009 22:02. Posts 5647 | | |
gl, come back and post an update for us once in a while! would be interesting to hear about what other ventures you get into after poker |
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PplusAD   Germany. Mar 19 2009 22:03. Posts 7180 | | |
If i had been given 300K id quit poker , too ^^
Gl with all your future plans |
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U see what i did there with A8 ? He 4 bets and there we go insta jam A8 : ---booooom -- . hahahaha ( Krantz) | |
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Gumster   Sweden. Mar 19 2009 22:05. Posts 2291 | | |
| On March 19 2009 19:06 Loco wrote:
what's with the 'i guess' guys? the guy wants a break from poker and it almost seems like you find it offending by saying 'i guess'. just wish the man good luck... |
well of couse it's sad in a way, considering the money he could continue make with his kind of skill |
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Do not push the river, it will flow by itself. - Polish proverb | |
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lebowski   Greece. Mar 19 2009 22:07. Posts 9205 | | |
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new shit has come to light... a-and... shit! man... | |
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Timonga   United States. Mar 19 2009 22:19. Posts 1074 | | |
Best of luck with everything SakiSaki |
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mikeymoo   Canada. Mar 19 2009 22:20. Posts 988 | | |
T____T
gl with everything. You've been a great influence on LP. |
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Exhilarate   United States. Mar 19 2009 22:24. Posts 5453 | | |
| On March 19 2009 18:34 MezmerizePLZ wrote:
I feel the same as you in a lot of ways, esp w/ the freedom but being chained down |
quoted for fuckin truth man.
i don't think you should quit, more money will make life easier and you can always invest later and have the money work for you, just an idea.
hope you find happiness in other aspects of life  |
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Tien   Canada. Mar 19 2009 22:36. Posts 1605 | | |
Nobody quits poker for good.
It's in our blood, after 1million hands, our genes become mutated to sense and destroy poker fish. |
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k2o4   United States. Mar 19 2009 22:56. Posts 4803 | | |
<3 sakisaki
you deserve a break and this sounds like by far the best move to take right now. I'm sure you will find a love for poker again in the future. |
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JoeDeertay   United States. Mar 19 2009 23:05. Posts 1730 | | |
Saki is one of my favorite LPers. This makes me sad =[
GL though! I hope you enjoy your time off, however long it may be. |
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Variance has a big brother named doomswitch. - edzwoo | |
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mrpav.com   Canada. Mar 19 2009 23:43. Posts 3069 | | |
I like your perspective actually, you need that balance and if you dont' have it you start to hate poker. Thats why I spend time with my gf, go to school, workout with my bro, watch movies and tv shows with my bro, go out to restaurants once in a while, so my life is always busy and i have plenty of variety. If all I did was play poker that would suck in the long term.  |
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Maynard!   United States. Mar 20 2009 01:20. Posts 4453 | | |
If poker makes you feel bad there is 0 reason to play. You have enough money to live stress free for 10+ years. Find something that actually makes you happy.
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Now I really am a busto. Thanks FTP. | |
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4Kingell   United Kingdom. Mar 20 2009 01:43. Posts 1453 | | |
GL. Having poker as a fall back....sick life.  |
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If you know the enemy and know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles. Sun Tzu | |
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rS.Wisdom[9]   United States. Mar 20 2009 02:10. Posts 1288 | | |
| On March 19 2009 21:03 PplusAD wrote:
If i had been given 300K id quit poker , too ^^
Gl with all your future plans |
why do 90+% of people say this, where's the logic???
i made a shitload of money doing this, I BETTER STOP! |
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moneypoker   Poland. Mar 20 2009 03:50. Posts 693 | | |
| On March 20 2009 01:10 rS.Wisdom[9] wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 19 2009 21:03 PplusAD wrote:
If i had been given 300K id quit poker , too ^^
Gl with all your future plans |
why do 90+% of people say this, where's the logic???
i made a shitload of money doing this, I BETTER STOP!
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because for mosty people poker isnt fun enymore and nobody wants to end up doing something that they hate just because it gives them more money (when they have money to live anyway) |
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you win some, you lose some... | |
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moneypoker   Poland. Mar 20 2009 03:53. Posts 693 | | |
I 100% understand the decision Saki, I'm probably quiting poker to in September when I'm going back to school
GL |
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you win some, you lose some... | |
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Darki   Peru. Mar 20 2009 06:40. Posts 687 | | |
sorry to hear that you are quitting i dont know you a lot but sometimes i feel the same way about poker.... if i were in your shoes i would quit too but i need to win 280k more so i would be happy to quit this game |
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http://reavermicro.blogspot.com/ actualizado 2013!! | |
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Nazgul   Netherlands. Mar 20 2009 09:19. Posts 7080 | | |
this is like reading my own thoughts =[ |
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You almost twin-caracked his AK - JonnyCosmo | |
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QuirkyEric   Slovakia. Mar 20 2009 10:22. Posts 308 | | |
jessus... every poker pro here is unhappy with his life?
Seriously?
Nobody here is enjoyin his job and living happy?
Or is here any semipro students who have ez life because they are able to make money from poker , njoy their life and study at the same time?
If this is just a myth guess im pretty fucked up lol |
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Je ti 31 let a umíš akorát klikat myší, vzpamatuj se -Daniel Havlík | |
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Raidern   Brasil. Mar 20 2009 10:22. Posts 4243 | | |
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Well I must say that I envy you a little bit. You are in a position where you could easily make like, what? 200$/hour? yet you can turn such an offer down and say: "well, it takes time away from my piano lessons and I cant work out as much as I used to, so I'll just forget about it". Unreal ^^
gl anyway |
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| Last edit: 20/03/2009 10:51 |
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Joe   Czech Republic. Mar 20 2009 10:55. Posts 5987 | | |
| On March 20 2009 01:10 rS.Wisdom[9] wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 19 2009 21:03 PplusAD wrote:
If i had been given 300K id quit poker , too ^^
Gl with all your future plans |
why do 90+% of people say this, where's the logic???
i made a shitload of money doing this, I BETTER STOP!
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Dunno, I guess a lot of people cant stand the downs of poker.
Others dont find it fullfilling enough maybe. |
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there is a light at the end of the tunnel... (but sometimes the tunnel is long and deep as hell) | |
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Tycho   Netherlands. Mar 20 2009 11:31. Posts 1553 | | |
| On March 20 2009 09:22 QuirkyEric wrote:
Or is here any semipro students who have ez life because they are able to make money from poker , njoy their life and study at the same time?
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Basically me.
Still gotta make a bit more but overall very very happy with poker (just playing NL400 around 20 - 35k hands a month).
I am making sure though I spend enough time outside of poker doing alot of sports, study, hang out with friends.
It results in less hands per month but alot more happier life. |
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morph1   Sierra Leone. Mar 20 2009 11:39. Posts 2352 | | |
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Always Look On The Bright Side of Life | |
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okyougosu   Russian Federation. Mar 20 2009 12:07. Posts 963 | | |
Oh thats one pathetic blog post. You just give a pretty standart reasoning to not play poker, which as i see most of the players come up with sooner or later, yet it all make no sense. Here is why: you wont play piano 4 hours a day and work out 3 hours a day 24/7 instead of online gambling, because these thing are alot more boring stuff then playing poker. You also dont tell us, or just dont know what exactly are you going to do this entire free time away from the tables, note: this must be something more fun exciting hobby or job or whatever that going to make you happy. I bet you won't stay away from poker more then a week since this post entry. |
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IMO it makes perfect sense okyougosu. He has like 300k sitting on his bank account, whyd he spend his time on something he doesnt really like doing? |
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| Last edit: 20/03/2009 12:28 |
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anon   Lithuania. Mar 20 2009 14:37. Posts 5965 | | |
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Doyle Brunson: Fights with your wife or girlfriend are not healthy for you bank roll | Last edit: 20/03/2009 14:38 |
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Suicigobo   Netherlands. Mar 20 2009 14:47. Posts 77 | | |
Forcing yourself into change is harder than you think, in essence walking away from poker you could be seen as taking the easy way once again. You probably prefer to keep poker along with some other things as a balance in your life but found it to hard yet you choose to eliminate poker. Probably the safe long term decision of course, probably not the most optimal since poker with your level of skill gives you an undeniable source of money along with unimaginable opportunities even if you play poker 1-2 hours today max. Walking away from poker may be the right choice but you don't know the alternative yet, although i do think that poker is 1 of the worst full time jobs an individual who is risk averse (most are..) can have.
Anyway I kinda recognize your mindset, I always got everything for granted in my life... got away with the most retarded choices and attitude simply because of my intelligence, looks and character (/puke i know). In the end it's not that great because other people learned discipline and working hard for goals which is the trait i used to miss, when i faced some goal that was actually challenging i was fucked. At the moment I'm working on improving the attitude I miss in some aspects, actually doing rather oke but its still really easy to drop back to your old habits simply because you can.
In the end noone really knows what makes him happy and the only way to find out is to try things, if you know poker makes you 100% unhappy stepping away can never be a step in the wrong direction; i do think that if you managed to put so much time/effort into poker it is something you probably deep down still like especially if you state you are a lazy person.
Anyway I don't know you enough to comment more intensive; i do wish you the best of life.
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It aint much if it aint... | |
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okyougosu   Russian Federation. Mar 20 2009 15:58. Posts 963 | | |
Well i wish you good luck with all that medschool and etc. Also looking back to your whole time u played poker and these positive results you got, how the hell can you get depressed by a losing session?
OK lets bet 40k$ u will come back in a week!
lol JK |
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PoorUser   United States. Mar 20 2009 16:19. Posts 7472 | | |
you're officially part of the team now
welcome |
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masterfrywad   United States. Mar 20 2009 17:36. Posts 329 | | |
read the four hour work week
i think it suits your situation perfect, as the author of the 4hww went through something very similar and now he basically lives an awesome life |
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| Last edit: 20/03/2009 17:39 |
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JYang   United States. Mar 20 2009 22:38. Posts 2669 | | |
| On March 20 2009 16:36 masterfrywad wrote:
read the four hour work week
i think it suits your situation perfect, as the author of the 4hww went through something very similar and now he basically lives an awesome life |
only works if u already own some biz or passive income
read it, dont apply to 99.99999% of others |
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masterfrywad   United States. Mar 21 2009 00:21. Posts 329 | | |
The guy lives in inspired lifestyle that can't be replicated by 99.999% of people, but the book offers more than living on a passive income, vacationing in thailand, and checking e-mail once a week. If all you got out of it is that you need a passive income then you fail. |
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| Last edit: 21/03/2009 00:22 |
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Loco   Canada. Mar 21 2009 10:00. Posts 20997 | | |
| On March 20 2009 11:07 okyougosu wrote:
Oh thats one pathetic blog post. You just give a pretty standart reasoning to not play poker, which as i see most of the players come up with sooner or later, yet it all make no sense. Here is why: you wont play piano 4 hours a day and work out 3 hours a day 24/7 instead of online gambling, because these thing are alot more boring stuff then playing poker. You also dont tell us, or just dont know what exactly are you going to do this entire free time away from the tables, note: this must be something more fun exciting hobby or job or whatever that going to make you happy. I bet you won't stay away from poker more then a week since this post entry. |
how arrogant can you be???????? |
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fuck I should just sell some of my Pokemon cards, if no one stakes that is what I will have to do - lostaccount | |
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NewbSaibot   United States. Mar 21 2009 12:38. Posts 4946 | | |
| I dont really feel like I need to justify quiting more than that poker makes me unhappy. Not just while I am playing but throughout every aspect of life poker is always affecting me one way or another. Some people may be able to balance it well and I admire them for it, but I cant. I have tried and right now theres no way I can so GG. |
This is my biggest fear of getting involved in poker as a profession. Playing this goddamn game always puts my stomach in knots. The moment I even start thinking about putting in a session I get butterflies, have to take a shit, etc etc. I truly hate the internal stress that builds, and I can only imagine how much worse it will be if I'm actually doing this for a living, with no backup income. How I'm gonna feel one day when my 100k bankroll takes a 20k downswing and I suddenly start to panic thinking I'm gonna bomb it all and be flippin burgers 6 months later because I quit my real-life job. Im not sure living with this kind of stress is healthy. Like being a full time stock broker or something who makes his living daytrading. The swings can fuck up your life, and you cant enjoy the money if you're always worried a month from now you could lose it all. |
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Qyvs!   Poland. Mar 21 2009 13:24. Posts 190 | | |
Nice blog post. Gl with your life.
Did you decide what are you gonna do ? like sport, travel, university, move somewhere etc ? |
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IDEAL_V_   Sweden. Mar 21 2009 13:43. Posts 31 | | |
greatest post on LP i have read so far.. i think a lot of people recognize themselves in this but have a hard time admitting it to themselves.. even though i haven't even succeeded in poker i feel the same way.. GL to you |
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i.de.al 1. a conception of something in its perfection. | |
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MiPwnYa   Brasil. Mar 21 2009 19:50. Posts 5230 | | |
rofl being a poker pro has definitely turned me into a waaaay happier person, it certainly has a few cons but I think it's a little shameless to complain about em as most ppl have shitty/no jobs. However if quitting poker temporarily is what is ganna make Saki happier then obv this is the right move -.- btw Saki we still have a sidebet going on don't we? GL dude |
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rybar333   Czech Republic. Mar 22 2009 04:37. Posts 15 | | |
hahaha u'll be back as soon as u start working for some shitty $$$$ |
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Baalim   Mexico. Mar 22 2009 05:54. Posts 34298 | | |
People play 12 tables 6 hours a day for 3 years and they wonder why they dont like it anymore.
I dont like the game (i dont think i ever loved it) but i dont burn myself. |
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Ex-PokerStars Team Pro Online | |
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Uptown   . Mar 22 2009 09:16. Posts 3557 | | |
| On March 20 2009 21:38 JYang wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 20 2009 16:36 masterfrywad wrote:
read the four hour work week
i think it suits your situation perfect, as the author of the 4hww went through something very similar and now he basically lives an awesome life |
only works if u already own some biz or passive income
read it, dont apply to 99.99999% of others
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Need a mil' + paying out 80K a year in dividends imooooo |
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fakeshaver   United States. Mar 22 2009 09:44. Posts 1313 | | |
gl with whatever you decide to do man. |
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