Introduce Yourself! - Page 2

rek if the LGBT saw that poster i bet they'd sponsor you to the wsop

forreals!

Hello, my name is Richard. I enjoy losing all of my money in online poker! After I lose all of my money down to my last $5 I then grind my way back up to my original deposit, only to lose it all again! I live to repeat this process! I've read so many poker books that I could compile my own "Poker Books: The Greatest Hits" book.

When I'm not losing my money in online poker I'm hustling high school friends money in live poker. So far I am up $500 doing this, and 5 detentions!

Cheers!

I'm Sam, some of you may know me as "Klogon's older bro". I don't post much on TL.net since i lost interest in BW quite a while ago. But it's still a fun game to mess around with every now and then. I'm currently a 1st year student at the University of Oregon. Currently 19 years old. I won't bother going into my major because i find it worthless, i'm gonna become a poker pro anyways

I'm a crazy 200 pound 6'1 korean that enjoys fornicating with anything that walks on 2 legs. I enjoy cars, workin out, games, food, blah blah the usual stuff people like my age.

Hi everybody! I feel like a loser posting on the internet where EVERYONE can read it, but I feel like I need to talk to someone - and the internet is my only friend. =( I spent over an hour getting this first paragraph JUST right, so please guys, don't make fun of it.

My name is... Edward and I am 18 years old and a Gemini. I think that once in a while, I get these ideas to do something really crazy, like roll down this big hill in my yard. Whoa is that some crazy stuff. One time I felt so bad I jumped into the pool with all of my clothes on. I could not believe I was such a wild and crazy guy while I sat there in the ice cold pool shivering my balls off.

Speaking of which. I am a guy, okay? Get that straight.

My friends... well I don't think I really have any friends. In 6th grade I felt like I had some friends but then I guess I figured out they just liked me since I was president of the Chess club and they wanted to feel special. That made me sad.

I want to grow up and be a pro wrestler. They have lots of people cheering them on and that would make me feel warm inside. They also have lots of girls. I think I want a girl. I think it was in 2nd grade when I had my last girlfriend. Her name was Young-Yoon and she was a Korean girl who wasn't pretty, but she was a nice person. I think her mom told her to go out with me though. I guess I broke up with her by pushing her off the monkey bars when she called me a ugly hee-soo. Whatever that means. Damn Koreans.

Well, that is my life. I hope being a Gemini will pay off with the planets aligning or whatnot sometime soon, because I need the stars on my side if I'll make anything of myself!

I work in New York City and I am a telemarketer. You all hate me. I know. I hate me too.

It's kind of cool what I sell though. I call all these people with the computer (I LOVE COMPUTERS THEY ARE SO SEXY. ESPECIALLY THE NEW iMACS) and I ask them if they want to buy a book on how to make balloon animals with a package of 50 balloons that comes with it for 19.95 + SH. (SH means shipping and handling. Don't worry, it took me a long time to get the jargon down too.)

Anyway, today I was at the water cooler filling up my one liter bottle (the doctor says I have to drink lots of water to be healthy) and the lady who works in the cubicle next to me (her name is Kelly and even though she is older than me she is still the young age of thirty-six and she is a very nice person) she said "Hey, Easy-E." I wanted to scream "I am Easy! Take me now!"

Luckily I was able to restrain myself and go to the potty, where I emptied out the last 2 liters I have had this morning. =)

Anyway. I have sold - 7 - books this morning. Hopefully selling some more later.

I guess I will go outside now. There is a rare breed of hummingbird outside my window - hummingus birdus is the scientific name I believe, and I want to take pictures!

ahahahahahahaha

best story ive read since the "i raise you your life" poker story

someone please post that

heheh yeh very good. that was lil.sis who wrote that other one
im going out, think yourselves lucky

Thanks for the good feedback guys!!

I am leaving work in a few minutes but I wanted to write one more entry before the day is over. In a way, I feel like this is really helping me because some guy I read about said that everyone needs a form of self-expression. Well guys. I think this is mine.

Work was pretty uneventful. I called up the mother of this guy I went to elementary school with and got her to buy a balloon book pretty much out of guilt. But hey - I got my 5% commission.

Oh oh oh! And the best thing is that for lunch, I celebrated my sale with a turkey and mayonaise sandwich (my fave) and a vanilla coke. I used to like Cherry Coke a lot but this Vanilla coke stuff just makes cherry taste like my retainers after I haven't touched them for weeks!

Speaking of which, I should probably wear them every night like my orthodontist says I should. My teeth are starting to move and stuff and they're getting pretty crooked again. I don't like to put my retainers on though because when I wake up the morning after I can't even chew my daily granola bar. Sad.

I gotta run. Star Trek runs in half an hour and it takes 20 min to get home on my scooter.

P.S. - I hope Kelly will come to work tomorrow in something tight and seduce me with some food item of the fruit variety.

Hi my name is Kevin, I'm Chinese and 17 years old .

I've been a member of TL for almost 3 years now or so, even though my interest for BW died around when war3 came out. I played war3 sorta competitively, but never made any huge accomplishments or anything like that. Been to Korea once in the summer of 2004 and saw Rekrul there :X.

With more time as a senior in hs now, I play poker for fun and also for the money.

By Lil.sis




It was a hot and dry day in El Paso when I played that hand in 1849. I'm not sure why I decided to return to the saloon, and once more risk losing it all; maybe it was boredom, days on end of seeing nothing from my porch besides hot, dry sand and desert lizards reflected in the rising steam. God knows where that steam came from. There wasn't water for miles.

I burst through the doors of The Broken Spoke holding all that i had earned from my 3 long months working on the ranch of Dallas Bill, one hundred and two dollars. I looked down back to my usual table: the usual suspects were at it again: Switchblade Joe, Tumbleweed Tim, Vegas Black, and Double Dee. Me? They call me Six-Shooter Sam.

I took my seat. The name of the game was $100 NL, the highest stakes in town. I shouted at the bartender. "Hey Lady, bring me some goddamn whiskey." Luckily, she had it. I would have taken horse piss. Anything to rid myself of the grit on the back of my throat.

First hand I'm on the big blind, and I look down to find the king of hearts and the ten of spades. Folds all around to me, except for Vegas Black who makes it three to go. I eyed him over carefully. He was a smooth one, that Vegas Black; unpredictable, like a cross-breed between a rattlesnake and a scorpion: you never quite could tell which way he was slithering, but one sting from him and men were pushing up daisies. Vegas Black was known in Texas to raise pots with any old hand, he could be sitting on anything from 2 7 offsuit to a pair of bullets. I saw a drop of sweat roll down my forehead and hit the felt. Vegas gave me a sinister grin. "Call." He urged. "I dare ya."

I called his raise. The flop comes 10 clubs, 7 clubs, A spades. Vegas bets out strong, $6, clearly trying to bluff me out.

"It'll take a lot more than that to get me out of this pot, partner," I said to Vegas in a raspy voice, my throat raw from the sand and the whiskey. "$20 to go."

Vegas lit a cigarette and sucked the smoke through the gap where his left front tooth used to be before he lost it taming Memphis, the wild black stallion that townsfolk rumored Vegas found at the gates of hell after getting shot by Kentucky Jack on the longest day December. "$50."

"I call."

The turn comes up, the Ace of diamonds. Vegas checks. Now I'm in for it. My pair of tens is looking worse by the minute. I check behind.

The river comes, the ten of hearts. Vegas checks again, settting his trap, except this time I can fight back. "I'm all-in."

Vegas looks at me and gives another wicked grin. He stands up from the table, pulls his pistol out from his holster, and pointing it at his own head says to me, "I raise you your life."

A lot of things went through my mind at that moment. My wife, my children, my future goals of saving enough money to move out west to california and strike it rich, but for some reason, I knew Vegas Black wasn't holding an ace.

"Vegas," I said, with shaky hands, pulling out my six-shooter from its brown leather holster, "you're a dead man." I pointed my six-shooter at my own head with my right hand, and flipped over K10 with the other. Vegas flipped over 88 and shot himself dead, in the middle of The Broken Spoke, on that hot and dry 1849 day in El Paso, when I made the biggest gamble of my life.

True story.

LOLOL

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and faith
And I was ’round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around st. petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a general’s rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
I’m a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached bombay
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what’s confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me lucifer
’cause I’m in need of some restraint
So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I’ll lay your soul to waste, um yeah
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what’s puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down

I'm Darrell, 36. Been playing online for about 5 months. Run an SEC message board in my other spare time.

On January 31 2006 15:56 BigBalls wrote: By Lil.sis It was a hot and dry day in El Paso when I played that hand in 1849. I'm not sure why I decided to return to the saloon, and once more risk losing it all; maybe it was boredom, days on end of seeing nothing from my porch besides hot, dry sand and desert lizards reflected in the rising steam. God knows where that steam came from. There wasn't water for miles. I burst through the doors of The Broken Spoke holding all that i had earned from my 3 long months working on the ranch of Dallas Bill, one hundred and two dollars. I looked down back to my usual table: the usual suspects were at it again: Switchblade Joe, Tumbleweed Tim, Vegas Black, and Double Dee. Me? They call me Six-Shooter Sam. I took my seat. The name of the game was $100 NL, the highest stakes in town. I shouted at the bartender. "Hey Lady, bring me some goddamn whiskey." Luckily, she had it. I would have taken horse piss. Anything to rid myself of the grit on the back of my throat. First hand I'm on the big blind, and I look down to find the king of hearts and the ten of spades. Folds all around to me, except for Vegas Black who makes it three to go. I eyed him over carefully. He was a smooth one, that Vegas Black; unpredictable, like a cross-breed between a rattlesnake and a scorpion: you never quite could tell which way he was slithering, but one sting from him and men were pushing up daisies. Vegas Black was known in Texas to raise pots with any old hand, he could be sitting on anything from 2 7 offsuit to a pair of bullets. I saw a drop of sweat roll down my forehead and hit the felt. Vegas gave me a sinister grin. "Call." He urged. "I dare ya." I called his raise. The flop comes 10 clubs, 7 clubs, A spades. Vegas bets out strong, $6, clearly trying to bluff me out. "It'll take a lot more than that to get me out of this pot, partner," I said to Vegas in a raspy voice, my throat raw from the sand and the whiskey. "$20 to go." Vegas lit a cigarette and sucked the smoke through the gap where his left front tooth used to be before he lost it taming Memphis, the wild black stallion that townsfolk rumored Vegas found at the gates of hell after getting shot by Kentucky Jack on the longest day December. "$50." "I call." The turn comes up, the Ace of diamonds. Vegas checks. Now I'm in for it. My pair of tens is looking worse by the minute. I check behind. The river comes, the ten of hearts. Vegas checks again, settting his trap, except this time I can fight back. "I'm all-in." Vegas looks at me and gives another wicked grin. He stands up from the table, pulls his pistol out from his holster, and pointing it at his own head says to me, "I raise you your life." A lot of things went through my mind at that moment. My wife, my children, my future goals of saving enough money to move out west to california and strike it rich, but for some reason, I knew Vegas Black wasn't holding an ace. "Vegas," I said, with shaky hands, pulling out my six-shooter from its brown leather holster, "you're a dead man." I pointed my six-shooter at my own head with my right hand, and flipped over K10 with the other. Vegas flipped over 88 and shot himself dead, in the middle of The Broken Spoke, on that hot and dry 1849 day in El Paso, when I made the biggest gamble of my life. True story.

omfg, i need to go shake lil.sis's hand. This story is genius!

its only half as funny if you havent read the story that inspired it though

My name is Yasin Aalipour.

I am 17 years old and I am middle eastern.

I used to be extremely skilled at starcraft, attaining A rating on wgt and having ~290 apm zerg user. I have frequented teamliquid.net since 2001 and I am an avid underwater basket weaving fan.

I played texas NLHE since 2003 when I built up a playchip bankroll of 5 million, which I sold to "ThaBigJay" for $10. I have played every game and every limit on PS and slowly built that $10 into my current BR of $200,000. I played exclusively $10/$20 PL Omaha for the past halfyear on PS and recently withdrew $199,000 through my dad. Nowadays I just play friendly games with my poker students fira and Pacifist and post on LP.

hahahah that story kills me every time

especially the raising preflop ISNT LEGAL
then he bets 27k into like a 1 million pot wtf

I'm Muhweli - the Monkey Within.

Hi my name is Jon, I'm 20 years old and I live in the Bay Area, California USA.
I'm known around the Brood War Community as: Rush)_CosMo or iD.CosMo
(BW Interview from WGT: http://www.wgtour.com/dossier.php?idD=1266&datab=broodwar)

I've played BW since 1997, competively from 1999 onwards. I went to WCGC 2000 (the first year it came out) for Japan when I lived there, but now I'm I just play BW for shits and giggles and to untilt myself if I'm on a bad run of cards.

I've played poker for about two years now (God bless Chris Moneymaker and ESPN). I've known how to play poker since my freshman year of high school, but I never REALLY got into it until I saw that donkey win and told myself "Hey I could do that". I started playing little free games on Party Poker not knowing what the hell I was doing (all-in every hand baby!) then I sat down with a friend and he really taught me the basics of the game. Started off at little home games with a bunch of friends, while at the same time working on my skills on a site called Bugsys Club (http://www.bugsysclub.com). I got into freerolls where I started to win these things called BBP that you can convert to real money. Eventually I got myself to collect $25 worth of BBP and converted it all to take a shot at the real money tables. I started right off in the .10/.25 and being as fortunate as I was... I went below $25 ever again.

By 2005, I had a real bankroll at $800, and started playing $1/$2 NL. I've spent the last year really sharpening my skills (in ring games) and have been lucky enough to get a lot of help along the way. By October of last year, I had a bankroll of $15,000 and started in the $5/$10 and ever since then I haven't been able to gain enough of an edge to make any substaintial amount of money. Now I play Pokerstars (mainly for tournaments and sit n go's) while moving down to play $2/$4 and $3/$6 on a more regular basis until my game improves.

I pride myself in saying this next line: I've never been broke, in debt, or in the hole due to my poker playing. Bankroll management is as big of a poker skill as playing itself is. If I was ever to teach someone how to play poker, bankroll management is the first thing I'd teach them. Being able to identify fish at your table, and seeing what tables are the most profitable is perhaps the biggest poker skill you can learn. I have little to no respect for those so called "good players" able to play the 10/20 NL and win only to be broke because they had one lousy session that got to their heads and they blew their entire bankroll.

With that said, I just found www.liquidpoker.net a little over a week ago because I heard someone on b.net talk about it. When I came here there were a bundle of familiar faces I haven't seen in ages. Kinda funny...

For those who wanna chat some poker, play some games on stars or elsewhere, or anything else:
MSN: jonnycosmo@hotmail.com
AIM: QStaRBoi
E-Mail: qstarboi@sbcglobal.net

Hey guys,

I am Ron van den Enden, a 22 year old guy from the Netherlands! I used to play broodwar (still do every now and ten). My former clans were iG, iD. My nickname there was VaLi !. I wasn't that skilled but i liked to hang with the guys. I met some really nice guys in my brood war time and i had a really nice time with them! Some guys who visit here are! Twisted! RobbieV, Nicky, And all the other iD members!!

I started poker like 4-5 months ago, at first losing 50$ on pokerstars, then i saw a free promotion at royalvegaspoker.com so i went there. I builded my free 10 to what it is right now +-2k. I am 4 tabling 50NL at the moment when i have the time. The person who addicted me to poker is strafe! FFFSSFSFSF BITCH!!!!!!! <3!

Right now i am working on a support desk for Hewlett Packard where i am giving support on there products! I am not at the phone, because i correct the people who are at the phone!

I found this site threw Tl.net offcourse, where i wasn't a eral frequent poster like here. But the reason for that is obvious! im better at poker then i was @ bw ...

msn: ronvdenden@hotmail.com

Regads Ron van den Enden