ADD Part 3 - The Rubifen Road to Riches

time to try out your new superpowers!

Cool, thanks for sharing. I've heard a little bit about internet addiction...

make a big post in the rofl thread before you take it, then make another big post after.

if the quality drops, toss the rubifen.

Hello Kiwi :D

lol

OK well, its been about 25 minutes since i took it, not sure how long it takes to kick in.

felt a bit light headed after a few minutes but i feel pretty normal at the moment. I ate lunch and watched an episode of 2months2million. I still feel quite similar, although I'm fidgeting less and I watched the episode uninterrupted throughout. Normally i pause like every 7 minutes and browse and stuff.

I also found myself reading the entire promo-banners for other g4 programs. So maybe its working.

Upon just doing some reading, the people on this forum say 10mg might not be enough to have an effect. But since i took mine at the same time as eating i guess it will be absorbed slower. So maybe after an hour or so if I don't feel like its doing much I might try another one. I think that's what the psychiatrist suggested....

Mind you this forum seems to be a bunch of pill poppers who prefer to snort the ADD medication they get their hands on. Not doing that.

Guess my ability to read complete written passages has improved. I might open a book, or maybe play some Quake Live since I'm interested to know what its like on this.

pls report
im pretty sure i have this thing too (ADD), ive just read ur part1, part2 blogs, and my mind is blown. >.<

"Methylphenidate possesses structural similarities to amphetamine and its pharmacological effects are more similar to those of cocaine" , enjoy your cocaine sir


10mg isn't much at all, especially since only 30-40% of it gets released instantly, while the 60-70% gets released over ~8hrs. I'm on Concerta right now, which is similar to what you're taking. just got my dosage upped to the max (112mg lol), since it wasn't doing too much for me.

are you normally hyperactive/fidgety? I'm not hyperactive at all, but methylphenidate makes me quite fidgety :/

I dont think I have the hyperactive part, in that im not charging around constantly.

I do fidget a lot, as part of having a need for constant stimulation / something going on. Jiggling my legs, mindlessly clicking mouse, rocking back and forth on my chair. Anything that distracts me from something that isnt interesting to me.

I feel a little more peaceful at the moment, but I still dont think its had a huge effect so I will try another one. Its wierd that the psychiatrist and pharmacist gave different information on how to take them.

Ill take another in 10 minutes and see how i go.

Took another one.

I feel more peaceful is that supposed to happen or am i imagining it?

I didnt sleep much last night so i wonder if thats affecting it.

try playing poker.

Snorting them is a bad choice, once you do it you can't go back to just eating them because the effect will be gone. I will recommend reading philosophy, religion and science, if you keep doing that for a while you will probably realize things you never could have imagined before, or at least you will be smarter than before.

Playing poker is like throwing your life down the drain so unless you can't live without the money I wouldn't recommend it. Throw out your TV and read and discuss. Start using your imagination and intuition, trust your intuition and see where it takes you.

Ill try playing poker, but only once im comfortable with the effect theyre having on me that im sure its not going to cause me to do anything wierd.

I took another and played QL, it didnt feel like the extra one had any effect, maybe they are. Its been 40 minutes since i took it. Also didnt turn me into Cooller lol

Maybe its kind of like when youre drunk and you think youre sober and then the next day you realize how drunk you were.

Might text the psychiatrist and ask him about the dosage i should experiment with.

I have no desire to snort them, they seemed to be doing all sorts of stuff to the pills to separate out the different chemicals to allow for maximum effect. Im not really into any of that. Also apparently it makes the inside of your nostrils red raw.

is internet addiction and add related? I used to be addicted to WoW and i couldn't think the same way as my normal brain could when i played it. The more i'm using technology the less capable my brain is of working normally.

Well, they said internet addiction but imo, I think its more that if you have ADD you will fucking love computers/internet.

youtube / music / multiple tabs in browser, you can just be switching around constantly at a whim. Whatever it is you want to know, listen to, experience etc. is right there.

So I think thats part of it, also my social circles at school were all built around video games, so they did provide an important social function to me for most of my life, but the games also gave me that instant gratification and competition that I guess i was looking for.

Because i couldn't concentrate at school, I guess i latched on to gaming in a way because it was something I was in total control of. The psychiatrist talked about constantly seeking dopamine highs and I guess gaming fits right in there because you get that excitement, particularly with multiplayer games.

When you say you couldnt think the way you normally would with WoW what was it like? I dont think I ever had a serious addiction to WoW coz i only palyed it for 3 months at original release and a further 3 recently albeit that was just grinding to 85 to see if i had the willpower to do so because i never got my first character to 60, but I did miss a shit load of 6th form classes during that first time, to the point where they phoned me to ask if i had dropped out.

I was highly addicted to Ultima Online though, and it pretty much took over my life for a period when i was 16/17. Wake up, log on, play all day, sleep. Literally no real life in between.

when i was 16/17 i played WoW until 3 am on school nights. Played it a ton for 1 and a half years. it broke my brain down because when i was playing it heavily i couldn't focus on listening to people. my attention span was less than 2 seconds, and this ended up in me not remembering anything in class for months.

Well that could be a result of lack of sleep I guess.

I used to play like that when i was at school, CS, UT, WC3, whatever. I would get home from school and play games for as long as possible before the next day of school. Id often go to bed at 4 or 5am and get up at 8:30am and go to school.

Used to routinely fall asleep on the bus and fell asleep in class once and got woken up by the teacher infront of everyone

Pretty sure these Rubifen have worn off now, ill take some more in an hour or so. I wonder if body-mass has anything to do with the effect they have. Because if children are taking the same ones im probably going to need a lot more because i weigh equivalent of multiple children.

also spent a ton of time playing WoW, although I don't really regret it..

i remember reading a study where methylphenidate was improving the sleep quality of the adhd test group.

ever since I've been taking a large dose of it my sleep quality has been improving. I usually sleep 10-13hrs/day, now im sleeping 7-8hrs/day while feeling more refreshed.

After reading your post the first thing that came to mind was onset depression as a result of abuse. If you don't notice an improvement do not go beyond the stated amount to be taken. I've been on painkillers before such as percocet and it gave me panic attacks/strong anxiety/onset depression. Pharmaceuticals never have done me well long-term, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone I care about. That's the problem with psychiatrists and psychologists. You stop seeing a psychologist because you feel like talking to someone isn't getting anything done, but when you see a psychiatrist you are paying a legal drug dealer to give you the good stuff. Gotta find salvation within and man up/figure out the problem the natural way through health food stores n' shit/communicating with friends and just flat out talking it out with people

Interesting, obviously finding a natural remedy towards stuff is optimal, but no matter what the environment ive been in nothing has panned out.

Ive been trying to keep a routine and started exercising daily a month ago and eating much healthier, the goal of that is to lose weight rather than to have a positive effect on this ADD.

Anti-depressants seem much more hardcore in terms of side effects and addiction/consequences of withdrawl.

Reading the wiki methylphenidate doesnt seem too bad, although it talks about having a high potential for abuse - although that tends to be higher milligram doses that are snorted or injected to achieve the euphoric state.

Its really wierd to be taking these, and its something i strongly considered, but i figure I can take a flop without too many long term side effects, if there isnt noticeable improvement then I will stop.

Ive basically had 26 years worth of symptoms, and im now a fully grown adult. Id be far more concerned if i was a child taking this based off some teacher observations.

The psychologist/psychiatrist work together, psychologist puts together a file and does a lot of the ground work and refers people to the psychiatrist, as well as providing life tips for staying focused etc.

btw watch this movie if u havent http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1528734/
i tried to find it on some site that u can see it online but its deleted from http://watchdocumentary.com/ and cant recall any others, but if u have hard time finding it pm me ill upload it somewhere/somehow

Just a question, do you do some sport ? It just feels really weird to have you take some medicine in order to prevent the ADD... :x I'm not sure what exactly you're having some troubles with... Like Rainkhan said, try to do some sport or finds any interest outside of internet, just so you can talk to the ppl. Obviously that doesn't mean you should stop using it since it's just too good to skip. but you can use it for the stuff related to what you've been talking to with ur friends. (Not sure if i'm clear...)

Edit : oh yeah btw, parties =/= talk.

On November 04 2011 23:02 byrnesam wrote: Ill try playing poker, but only once im comfortable with the effect theyre having on me that im sure its not going to cause me to do anything wierd. I took another and played QL, it didnt feel like the extra one had any effect, maybe they are. Its been 40 minutes since i took it. Also didnt turn me into Cooller lol Maybe its kind of like when youre drunk and you think youre sober and then the next day you realize how drunk you were. Might text the psychiatrist and ask him about the dosage i should experiment with. I have no desire to snort them, they seemed to be doing all sorts of stuff to the pills to separate out the different chemicals to allow for maximum effect. Im not really into any of that. Also apparently it makes the inside of your nostrils red raw.

wait. are your pills uppers? i have a younger bro who has ADD and he used to use ritalin. it's an upper... i stole some and was snorting it back in college.

ADD medication are supposed to be good for poker and other mind games. go try playing, i think it might do your game some good.

you can check out erowid.org to see if rubifen is on there. great website. my experience with stimulants is that proper dosage and sensitivity varies A LOT from person to person. i know ppl that can't even drink green tea and i know ppl that can't drink coffee fast enough to get any real effect. it's been the same w/ any stimulant and something like yohimbine is actually really crazy in that the no effect to overdose symptom window is like 100mg. another concern is that tolerance with stimulants becomes a pretty major issue. also, taking stimulants with food really kills the effects.

i completely agree with rainkhan. i don't have a lot of respect for the psychology/psychiatrist community.

i would also completely agree with your assessment of their retarded claims of "internet addiction." if someone locked you in a room you would be bored. you would probably wish you had the internet... or anything but it's not like anything degenerative is gonna happen. you aren't gonna get sick. you aren't gonna die. i doubt you were wishing for a computer when you were out at the pub having some pints watching new zealand kick some ass in the rugby world cup.

also, i'm not dissing stimulants or cognition drugs. they've helped millions of ppl including me be more productive for ages. coffee, green tea, tyrosine, creatine, fish oil are some much healthier alternatives i'm a big fan of. eating cleaner and working out will help a lot too. this is not to say i'm even against taking the rubifen. i have no experience with it but if you are honest and the positives outweigh the negatives then it's clearly wise to take it.

as for recs on what to do i would recommend looking into russian literature like dostoevsky or tolstoy. the books are generally very long and very wordy but once you get into them are stimulating and imo extremely worthwhile reads. plus if you get through something like crime and punishment or war and peace it gives you confidence and proves in a way you aren't some "attention deficient loser." i wouldn't necessarily start with either of those books and it's not like it even has to be russian lit. just try to find something short and highly-regarded that you think you would like and go from there. even just reading every article in a sunday paper from left to right has a similar effect, takes less time, keeps you connected, and gives you stuff to talk about with people.

I saw somewhere Dopamine is mentioned
here a video of how it works
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hrCVu25wQ5s#t=1592s

yo, I went to the psychiatrist on tuesday and was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive as well. They prescribed me adderrall but there is some kind of fkn nationwide shortage so I can't try my treatment yet...

also I'm sure a lot of people in here (like me 2 weeks ago) have no idea that ADHD has different "types" with pretty distinct symptoms. The differences between the different types are big enough to where they are considering breaking out a whole new label for one set of them

its dumb because ADHD has Hyperactivity in the name, but inattentive is defined by being the opposite of hyperactive most of the time lol
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predominantly_inattentive

when I found out about this it was kind of sick how well parts of it describe me/my life, or symptoms I've had to consciously adjust to in order to minimize their effects


kind of tilted that I can't try this adderall shit.. no pharmacy expects to have any for another two weeks.

look, another reason why we get along so well sam

your blog has made me realize that a friend of mine with 99% certainty has ADD, he is pretty sure himself but has not sought any kind of help, but im kinda curious byrnesam how much you have benefited from "seeking help" from professionals?

im wondering cuz he is so messed up in so many ways, it would be awesome if he could do something about his issues

byrn,
becoming dependent on prescribed drugs is often times much worse and way more damaging than illegal drugs because you have let society convince you something is wrong with you or your brain and all you will need to function "properly" is some good external chemicals that only some legal pharmacy is capable of providing you in order for you to change yourself. tHiS iS 4 CoN j0b

for every action there is a reaction

in a nutshell byrn, anything in excess will kill you. drugs like these take away from the healthy and functioning parts of you to cover like a bandaid the inadequacies. they do not actually correct or rectify anything. after a prolonged enough period of time of taking whatever prescribed substance, what you took for granted & could once do easily and never thought about (e.g. eating / sleeping / staying calm / pooping ((all depends on drug)) start to become inadequacies themselves amongst other things that start to crop up like headaches or not recovering from minor sicknesses/injuries nearly as fast etc

eventually somewhere along this point, you will be forced to see yourself as double fucked since on the one hand if you quit taking the chemicals that you have relied on in order to cope with or function "properly", the bandaid will come off and you will not be able to conquer that stigma society has marked you with yet on the other hand if you keep taking the meds they will surely consume you as well
often times at this stage new or more drugs to counter those newly sprung up effects is what ppl think is the solution. alas this is the downwards spiral

if you can help it don't fall for this martingale strategy + hamster wheel like con.
taking something externally to permanently fix something internally is a fallacy at best - taking some pills everyday for the rest of your life is big business if the corporations can convince you to do it with the end result for you being some minor problem turning into a noncontrollable catastrophe

bet on something else - where there is a will there is a way

ADHD really isn't some minor problem, and medication along with other treatment has been shown to significantly improve people's quality of life. dunno why people want to paint all mental health + medication with such a broad brush.

its sam's blog tho so I won't butt in I s'pose


btw i can't believe I missed part 1 and 2 of ADD blogs

butt in all you want, byrn likes butts

"medication along with other treatment has been shown to significantly improve people's quality of life"

lol you sound verbatim to being a commercial insinuating medication as a lifetime solution

in the short term yes at times prescribed medication helps, but medication is rarely ever beneficial in the long term and what is looking to be applied here will become a long term band-aid type thing

and yes generally speaking ADHD is an American phenomenon turning a minor problem into big medical/science/gov business that creates a huge lifetime stigma onto ppl who believe what they are told - usually done at a young age

and ppl can't be faulted when it happens so young as it's very hard for even most adults to confront problems within
it becomes increasingly difficult when they are told it's not their fault and everything will be ok as long as you take this medication once or twice a day for the rest of your life

believe whatever you like but it's subtle conformity that is being presented here

On November 05 2011 15:37 tloapc wrote: butt in all you want, byrn likes butts "medication along with other treatment has been shown to significantly improve people's quality of life" lol you sound verbatim to being a commercial insinuating medication as a lifetime solution in the short term yes at times prescribed medication helps, but medication is rarely ever beneficial in the long term and what is looking to be applied here will become a long term band-aid type thing and yes generally speaking ADHD is an American phenomenon turning a minor problem into big medical/science/gov business that creates a huge lifetime stigma onto ppl who believe what they are told - usually done at a young age and ppl can't be faulted when it happens so young as it's very hard for even most adults to confront problems within it becomes increasingly difficult when they are told it's not their fault and everything will be ok as long as you take this medication once or twice a day for the rest of your life believe whatever you like but it's subtle conformity that is being presented here

can you elaborate and provide some proof on why the medication works short term but not long term?

if I was willing to not enjoy my weekend and you were able to define for me what would work as "proof" for you ... then depending on that ... yes perhaps I can

can you think of any instances of prescribed medication delivering lifelong benefits?

On November 05 2011 13:14 Night2o1 wrote: yo, I went to the psychiatrist on tuesday and was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive as well. They prescribed me adderrall but there is some kind of fkn nationwide shortage so I can't try my treatment yet... also I'm sure a lot of people in here (like me 2 weeks ago) have no idea that ADHD has different "types" with pretty distinct symptoms. The differences between the different types are big enough to where they are considering breaking out a whole new label for one set of them its dumb because ADHD has Hyperactivity in the name, but inattentive is defined by being the opposite of hyperactive most of the time lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predominantly_inattentive when I found out about this it was kind of sick how well parts of it describe me/my life, or symptoms I've had to consciously adjust to in order to minimize their effects kind of tilted that I can't try this adderall shit.. no pharmacy expects to have any for another two weeks. look, another reason why we get along so well sam

you got prescribed adderall during your first appointment?? i find that odd, considering how much people abuse that stuff, it's also suppose to be worse for you long-term.

I'd like to eventually try adderall, since it's suppose to be more effective for the inattentive type. but i'm afraid of asking my psychiatrist for it so soon, i don't wanna seem like a druggy specifically asking for adderall :/

I started taking adderall when i was 15.

ADHD is bs... There is no "you have it" or "dont have it". Im pretty sure 99.99% of ALL people "have it" at certain times of the week on a regular basis.

Here are some of the pros from my experience: helped me stay focused in class, write all nighters 8 pages np. Play poker for 14 hrs straight, drink alcohol much more than i usually could handle. Basically anytime you need to stay up pop some addies.

Cons: Clouds you from reality. 1) The fact that it alters your mood is prolly best support i can give for that statement. Things may "seem" ok when you're high but once you come off you realize that was just the drug talkin and you're still a low-life.
2) Playing poker for 14 hours straight.
3) Fucks your sleep schedule or dont sleep at all which is very bad when you actually have to do shit, talk to people etc.
4) Loss of appetite
5) Addiction, there was a point in my life where i had to be on it 24/7 and thought i felt like shit when i wasnt on it, but in reality i was fine. I remember driving 30 minutes to a visit a friend who was 1 hour away, and then i realized i didnt have the drug in my car so i took nearest exit, drove back to my appartment to pop some pills. I have friend who have similar stories to this.

I'd like to hear travis, rekrul, and tasteless view on this since i know they spoke about adderall in the past.

On November 05 2011 16:02 k4ir0s wrote: Show nested quote + On November 05 2011 13:14 Night2o1 wrote: yo, I went to the psychiatrist on tuesday and was diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive as well. They prescribed me adderrall but there is some kind of fkn nationwide shortage so I can't try my treatment yet... also I'm sure a lot of people in here (like me 2 weeks ago) have no idea that ADHD has different "types" with pretty distinct symptoms. The differences between the different types are big enough to where they are considering breaking out a whole new label for one set of them its dumb because ADHD has Hyperactivity in the name, but inattentive is defined by being the opposite of hyperactive most of the time lol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predominantly_inattentive when I found out about this it was kind of sick how well parts of it describe me/my life, or symptoms I've had to consciously adjust to in order to minimize their effects kind of tilted that I can't try this adderall shit.. no pharmacy expects to have any for another two weeks. look, another reason why we get along so well sam you got prescribed adderall during your first appointment?? i find that odd, considering how much people abuse that stuff, it's also suppose to be worse for you long-term. I'd like to eventually try adderall, since it's suppose to be more effective for the inattentive type. but i'm afraid of asking my psychiatrist for it so soon, i don't wanna seem like a druggy specifically asking for adderall :/

Yeah, dunno if that is odd I really have 0 experience with psychiatrists previous to this. I think there were a few reasons he insta prescribed it for me:

1. I'm an adult (idk how old you are)
2. I presented a well-researched description of my own lifelong symptoms and how they relate to ADHD-I
3. I explained that I'm also utilizing non-medication adjustments (using a calendar etc)
4. He knew I was paying cash, and don't have insurance
5. I'm in the USA dunno lol.

On November 05 2011 06:55 RaiZ wrote: Just a question, do you do some sport ? It just feels really weird to have you take some medicine in order to prevent the ADD... :x I'm not sure what exactly you're having some troubles with... Like Rainkhan said, try to do some sport or finds any interest outside of internet, just so you can talk to the ppl. Obviously that doesn't mean you should stop using it since it's just too good to skip. but you can use it for the stuff related to what you've been talking to with ur friends. (Not sure if i'm clear...) Edit : oh yeah btw, parties =/= talk.

Right now all I do is jogging/walking.

Back at school i used to play rugby, football, field hockey, cricket etc.

On November 05 2011 13:14 Night2o1 wrote: look, another reason why we get along so well sam

hahah yes :D

On November 05 2011 13:44 Gumster wrote: your blog has made me realize that a friend of mine with 99% certainty has ADD, he is pretty sure himself but has not sought any kind of help, but im kinda curious byrnesam how much you have benefited from "seeking help" from professionals? im wondering cuz he is so messed up in so many ways, it would be awesome if he could do something about his issues

Its pretty cool, I guess its a relief that you find out that all these things that for years resulted in you being called lazy or whatever actually had some reason behind it.

On November 05 2011 14:43 tloapc wrote: byrn, becoming dependent on prescribed drugs is often times much worse and way more damaging than illegal drugs because you have let society convince you something is wrong with you or your brain and all you will need to function "properly" is some good external chemicals that only some legal pharmacy is capable of providing you in order for you to change yourself. tHiS iS 4 CoN j0b for every action there is a reaction in a nutshell byrn, anything in excess will kill you. drugs like these take away from the healthy and functioning parts of you to cover like a bandaid the inadequacies. they do not actually correct or rectify anything. after a prolonged enough period of time of taking whatever prescribed substance, what you took for granted & could once do easily and never thought about (e.g. eating / sleeping / staying calm / pooping ((all depends on drug)) start to become inadequacies themselves amongst other things that start to crop up like headaches or not recovering from minor sicknesses/injuries nearly as fast etc eventually somewhere along this point, you will be forced to see yourself as double fucked since on the one hand if you quit taking the chemicals that you have relied on in order to cope with or function "properly", the bandaid will come off and you will not be able to conquer that stigma society has marked you with yet on the other hand if you keep taking the meds they will surely consume you as well often times at this stage new or more drugs to counter those newly sprung up effects is what ppl think is the solution. alas this is the downwards spiral if you can help it don't fall for this martingale strategy + hamster wheel like con. taking something externally to permanently fix something internally is a fallacy at best - taking some pills everyday for the rest of your life is big business if the corporations can convince you to do it with the end result for you being some minor problem turning into a noncontrollable catastrophe bet on something else - where there is a will there is a way

I dont know who you think has convinced me. I went to a psychologist who specialized in ADD and a medical professional with 26 years worth of symptoms throughout childhood into adulthood. I have to pay them regardless of treatment. Im not claiming these are magic pills that everyone should run out and grab. No drug company has told me I need XYZ to succeed.

I guess its hard for some people to understand how little i get done or how hard i find it to complete even trivial tasks. Once again, if you felt this way you might feel more receptive to treat things if your life is slumping and grinding to a halt and you cant apply yourself to anything for extended periods of time.

hey ultimately it's you that convinces you
it's your life, your decisions; you do what you think you should

never was good at telling ppl what they wanted to hear anyhow
gl

I'm quite sure ADD is some psycholgy bullshit.
I would be diagnosised ADD for sure too , but people who have ADD , are kids who were really smart and were bored really fast by everything.

Update: Last night I couldnt really sleep, I was really tired because my sleep pattern was all off and i only had a few hours sleep before I went to see the psychologist. So i was tired, but I guess I had a lot on my mind and stuff still in my system. There was a point where I went completely numb like I had fallen asleep but was still conscious, was pretty wierd.

This morning I woke up about mid-day and took 2. Ate some food and made my Ali like return to the (NL 25 full) ring.

I ended up playing 4500 hands 12 tabling in just under 5 hours. The medication wore off some way through the session, not sure how much it actually helped me. Although I always used to want to stop grinding <500 hands in before, this time I didnt really feel like stopping, although I dropped 4 buyins before rallying back to +2.

Didnt tilt or anything and thought i played pretty well and consistent. Although i would contribute a lot of this to more mental preparation. The other night I spent like 2 hours shadowing Stealcity playing NL10 FR and it really helped get my mind ready.

So the jurys still out on whether this medication is good for poker or not. Its probably really good for live poker. Yesterday i breifly shadowed Stealcity again and watched really intently during an opponents decision during a hand lol, but then I had an unrelenting urge to play WC3 and listen to music, so I did that instead.

My WC3 seems to have improved as a result.

I took 1 pill a bit later, didnt seem to do much, I wont take another one because I think it will affect my sleep. Its annoying the instructions dont tell you when to take the pills (like "take one every X hours" it just says take 1 x 4 per day.

Its probably +ev to take less of them anyway.

Actually one thing that was different: today was the first time ever that ive played a proper session with a HUD.

Before HUDs used to really frustrate me because they would get in the way of something (like slightly block someones hole cards), or theyre kind of oddly positioned around the table and things like that would always annoy me. So today was the first time I actually played a whole session without tilting from the computer lag / stats everywhere and i didnt mind them, I made use of the stats and obv its super helpful.

I always had a problem with being thrown off by things when they didnt go as planned in my head. Ill have to ask if this is at all a result of medication or maybe its just something im more aware of now.

I seem to generally feel more peaceful on these things, like my brain has slowed down.

In the interest of science, I will have to rub one out on these things soon presumably ill watch the entire porno start to finish and read the entire legal/adult content statement at the start.

lolol

I am not sure if you've mentioned tools for organizing yourself and your time better.. Like keeping a calendar etc to stay on task for longer term things. You doing any outside medication type stuff?

now that i've read your past couple of blog posts i feel like i might have the ADD too :/

you are taking a pill that should get you off internet? Does it control the internet hormone in the body? Do they have anti-TV pill, would be way better for you :D.

.