I don't know if I can do this
thestoryteller, Apr 25 2009
So after running bad (2 x KK v AA, 2 x top set v runner runner straight, 1 x set over set, 1 x mid set v runner runner FH, 1 x QQ v 55 rivered set etc. etc. etc.), I am supposed to eat this for lunch:
- my mother-in-law's cooking from yesterday night.
The tomato looks like a bleeding scrotum and the stuff in general just looks horrible. I mean, it's even worse than English cooking.
I really don't know if I can do this.
I'm running so bad
thestoryteller, Apr 03 2009
I'm running so bad, I'm running like shit
I think I should throw in the towel and quit
With 2 outs on the river, the fish always hit
And I always get stacked though I play like a nit
No matter the cards, no matter the stacks
My asshole gets violated and stretched to the max
Being dealt aces makes me cry like a sop
I know the villain will hit his set on the flop
Flopping a set makes my eyes burn
I know a set over set will come on the turn
Turning a flush makes my spider sense quiver
I know the board will pair on the river
When faced with a shove, my tears it arouses
I know that it's time to lower my trousers
When faced with a raise, oh how it rankles
I know that it's time to grab my ankles
I thought poker was easy and the money was free
But now the only one getting poked is me.
Table talk
thestoryteller, Jan 10 2009
Submitted by : thestoryteller
PokerStars Game #23751464726: Holdem No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2009/01/10 3:46:19 ET
Table Antilochus V 9-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: geoste54 ($50.75 in chips)
Seat 2: THEGAMEISOVA ($56.35 in chips)
Seat 3: TeHKai ($9.25 in chips)
Seat 4: jguo ($54.30 in chips)
Seat 5: Karen668 ($50.75 in chips)
Seat 6: beta25 ($65.05 in chips)
Seat 7: rivermonkey6 ($27.55 in chips)
Seat 8: Eggpie ($64.85 in chips)
Seat 9: shadepop ($47 in chips)
rivermonkey6: posts small blind $0.25
Eggpie: posts big blind $0.50
Holecards
Dealt to Karen668  
shadepop: folds
geoste54: folds
THEGAMEISOVA: folds
TeHKai: folds
jguo: folds
Karen668: raises $1 to $1.50
beta25: folds
rivermonkey6: calls $1.25
Eggpie: folds
Flop (Pot : $3.50)
  
rivermonkey6: checks
Karen668: bets $2.30
rivermonkey6: raises $2.30 to $4.60
Karen668: calls $2.30
Turn (Pot : $12.70)
rivermonkey6: bets $3.50
Karen668: calls $3.50
River (Pot : $19.70)
rivermonkey6: bets $2.50
Karen668: raises $9.50 to $12
rivermonkey6 said, "fm e"
rivermonkey6 said, "had trip jjj"
rivermonkey6 said, "frickin lucky fck"
rivermonkey6: folds
Uncalled bet ($9.50) returned to Karen668
Karen668 collected $23.55 from pot
Karen668: doesnt show hand
rivermonkey6 said, "did u have a hrt"
rivermonkey6 said, "i mean trip sevens"
rivermonkey6 said, "did u bad beat me"
rivermonkey6 said, "or just good play by u"
Karen668 said, "What did you have?"
rivermonkey6 said, "trip sevens"
rivermonkey6 said, "what u have kq"
rivermonkey6 said, "with a hrt"
rivermonkey6 said, "tell me what crap u had"
Karen668 said, "Yes, I had a heart"
rivermonkey6 said, "so y did u call me on flop if u didnt have an ace"
Karen668 said, "Well, you know, i was on the phone and all"
Karen668 said, "Kinda distracted"
Karen668 said, "cos like"
Karen668 said, "you know"
Karen668 said, "I was doing my hair as well"
Karen668 said, "And then my boyfriend called"
Karen668 said, "And he wanted to know what I was wearing"
Karen668 said, "So I was like just click call call call"
rivermonkey6 said, "idiot"
Uuuuurrrrrkkkkkkkk
thestoryteller, Jan 04 2009
One right after the other, jeez...
+ Show Spoiler +
+ Show Spoiler +
+ Show Spoiler +
+ Show Spoiler +
EDIT: And just after I posted the above...
+ Show Spoiler +
btw, are any of the above NOT coolers? Like, maybe I think they're coolers but they're actually leaks...
EDIT 2: Okay, Are any of the above not coolers OR bad beats...
British humour
thestoryteller, Dec 24 2008
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7390109.stm
This headline is yet another reason I just love their media.
Cookies and flowers
thestoryteller, Dec 20 2008
I'm sure this is of no interest to anyone, but since it's my blog...
My wife and I just made bite sized cookies to give away during Christmas...
And my flowers are blooming again, just in time for the festive season!
Short stack no more
thestoryteller, Dec 20 2008
Persuading a short stack to top up:
Submitted by : thestoryteller
PokerStars Game #23081481010: Holdem No Limit ($0.25/$0.50) - 2008/12/20 1:59:37 ET
Table Peiraios V 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: Karen668 ($107 in chips)
Seat 3: S.A.D.KING1 ($31.05 in chips)
Seat 4: JPasky ($154.15 in chips)
Seat 5: seadragon68 ($9.25 in chips)
Seat 6: timleery ($7.65 in chips)
Seat 7: krazed_medic ($26.05 in chips)
Seat 8: jessstar4 ($47.25 in chips)
Seat 9: twisterD ($13.20 in chips)
jessstar4: posts small blind $0.25
twisterD: posts big blind $0.50
Holecards
Dealt to Karen668 
Karen668: raises $1.50 to $2
S.A.D.KING1: folds
pako56 has returned
JPasky: folds
seadragon68: folds
timleery: folds
krazed_medic: folds
jessstar4: folds
twisterD: folds
Uncalled bet ($1.50) returned to Karen668
Karen668 collected $1.25 from pot
Karen668: doesnt show hand
timleery: this **** sucker just gettin too lucky
Karen668: Uh, yeah, that totally explains why youre left with a stack worth a big mac meal
timleery: not u the **** sucker to your left
Dealer: JPasky, its your turn. You have 15 seconds to act
timleery: but that was good b itch
Karen668: Oooohhh ... sorry
(timleery tops up to $35)
timleery: how u like me now
timleery: **** wit me
Karen668: Mm... such a nice big stack
Just venting
thestoryteller, Dec 10 2008
In the last 700 hands, I've lost JJ vs KT (rivered trips), AK vs 58 (rivered 2 pair), AK vs 72 (turned trips), QQ vs J7 (runner runner straight), KK vs 77 (all in PF flopped set), KK vs 99 (3 bet PF flopped set), KK vs AQ (all in PF flopped an ace AND rivered a flush, just to rub it in) BUT at least I have not punched anything or broken my table yet.
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark
thestoryteller, Nov 01 2008
Submitted by : thestoryteller
POKERSTARS GAME #21660821561: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($0.25/$0.50) - 2008/11/01 1:07:55 ET
Table 'Kordula II' 9-max Seat #8 is the button
Seat 1: gætenvind ($10.35 in chips)
Seat 2: mogwai316 ($50 in chips)
Seat 4: Faraon777 ($50 in chips)
Seat 5: Karen668 ($105 in chips)
Seat 6: dday123 ($86.65 in chips)
Seat 8: KritiKal ($50 in chips)
Seat 9: jasons0147 ($94.75 in chips)
jasons0147: posts small blind $0.25
gætenvind: posts big blind $0.50
Holecards(Odds)
Dealt to Karen668  
mogwai316: folds
Faraon777: raises $1.50 to $2
Karen668 : calls $2
dday123: calls $2
KritiKal: folds
jasons0147: folds
gætenvind: calls $1.50
Flop(Odds) (Pot : $8.25)
  
gætenvind: bets $2.50
Faraon777: folds
Karen668 : raises $5.50 to $8
dday123: raises $5.50 to $13.50
gætenvind: folds
Karen668 : calls $5.50
Turn(Odds) (Pot : $37.75)
Karen668 : bets $25
dday123: calls $25
River (Pot : $87.75)
Karen668 : bets $50
dday123: calls $46.15 and is all-in
Uncalled bet ($3.85) returned to Karen668
Showdown
Karen668 : shows (three of a kind, Kings)
dday123: shows   (a full house, Kings full of Eights)
dday123 collected $177.05 from pot
Summary
Total pot $180.05 | Rake $3
Board
Seat 1: gætenvind (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 2: mogwai316 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Faraon777 folded on the Flop
Seat 5: Karen668 showed and lost with three of a kind, Kings
Seat 6: dday123 showed and won ($177.05) with a full house, Kings full of Eights
Seat 8: KritiKal (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 9: jasons0147 (small blind) folded before Flop
So I sit down at a table with two maniacal Danes. I stack one of them and in the very next hand, the other one stacks me back - my biggest losing hand at NL50. That wasn't the only suck out, of course. Looking back on my losing hands from today's session is just more grief than it's worth.
No wonder Denmark is always ranked as the happiest place on earth. I bet there's a bloody happy Dane there right now.
I really feel the need to kick something but there are no Danes around here.
Grrrrrr.
(No offence intended to Danes)
Stupid flu
thestoryteller, Oct 25 2008
This flu keeps going away in the morning and coming back viciously at night. I'm just taking paracetamol though... don't like taking flu meds 'cos they make me all light headed and weird and before I know it I'm talking like Sarah Palin...
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(a straight flush, Eight to Queen)
(a flush, King high)
(three of a kind, Tens)
