Burnt the fuck out
PanoRaMa, Nov 21 2009
Fucking ridiculous day all I could do was keep losing =[
REALLY burnt out from this session, quite possibly one of the most frustrating sessions of my career. Everything wrong just happened. Gonna take a break imo.
This is my month though, clearly running well with that gigantic upswing before. With rakeback and some other degen shit I'm up like 16k on the month so I'm 100% satisfied. If my prior run good can keep going on I can definitely make 100k on the year, but we'll see 
Some hands:
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/768438 - Overbet with 2nd nuts gets called by 984387483th nuts looool leveled
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/769470, http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/769472, http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/769473 - Some really lame beats but nothing that noteworthy
Another 5k Day + Mid Month Update
PanoRaMa, Nov 15 2009
Another 5k day! Twice in one month is a record for me. Month has been going very very well so far.
Spent today also playing a bunch of tournaments, not so successful so far but I'm still in two including the FTOPS ME and sunday 2nd chance. Hopefully I can follow up this blog entry with a 500k day blog post :D
edit: lol cursed, just busted out of both tourneys 5 mins after posting this.
Some Garphs
PanoRaMa, Nov 07 2009
Tomorrow I leave Taiwan back to the US where I spend a month handling shit and then coming back to Taiwan to live here for 2010. Ultimately that means I'll be hitting up most if not all Asia tourneys in 2010, but I also plan to play WSOP as well (if all goes well!). I've been in Asia (Taiwan, Macau, Tokyo) for the past 2 and a half months and here are my online results for that duration:
Entire graph
Stats... EV bb/100 6.60 hahahahaaa.a.a....haha....ha...
2/4 garph
So I guess I ran like complete trash at 2/4 but made it up in 5/10. Over the past month though I've gotten extremely better and have went from 24/20 to playing around 28/24. Which is good because a month ago or so I was complaining that I wasn't improving and it made me feel shitty. November has been going really well so far and I hope it keeps up and I can close out these last 2 months strong. All I want for christmas is to realize my EV 
Some hands:
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/761710 - 300bb deep domination to suckout 
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/761711 - deep 3b pot get it in dominating on every street to suckout
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/762796 - i guess my biggest pot with 62o?
5.4k day - new cash record
PanoRaMa, Nov 01 2009
Just beat my previous best cash game record in 1 day of 5050, now at 5450 . I guess if I complain loud enough the poker gods bless me with a day of heater godmoding
3k at 5/10 hu, 2k at 2/4 6max
Sad October Results (-6.5k)
PanoRaMa, Oct 31 2009
Winner here but not for the month :[.
Very disappointed in myself wrt to these results and my hand volume. My only excuse is that I was 4-tabling 6max or 1-tabling HU most of the time, AND I was in Macau on vacation but still, at this point in my poker career there is nothing that can justify a BARELY 20k hand month for only 2k in profit.
Even MORE disappointing, and I even contemplated whether or not I should reveal this, is that I lost 13k flipping this month. Flipped many times anywhere between 100 to 1000 dollars and just lost an incredible amount of them. No excuses, I'm a stupid ass degen sure, but I should know better. The exact same shit happened to me a year and a half ago and what ensued from that was a 6 month breakeven period which drove me to busto. I should KNOW better, and yet I still let myself degen off soooo much fucking money. I'm a retard, plain and simple.
The only thing I can do is learn from it. No more stupid degen flipping for significant amounts of money from me ever again.
+2.1k Cash Results
+900 Rakeback
-9.5k Flipping/Tournaments/Misc = -6.5k
Sigh. 2nd negative month on the year. Really don't know if I can hit 100k on the year now... I'm at roughly 65 or 70k and so in the next 2 months I'd need 15k months lol. Well FTOPS!!!! is next month so hopefully 6 digit cash incoming??
Some hands:
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/759206 - River Q hi bluff leaving him $100 to call to win a $600 pot and he folds :>
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/759207 - Generous donk ships me a free ps3, easy game.
Year-to-date Results:
+ Show Spoiler +
So I won a Macau Event
PanoRaMa, Oct 22 2009
Yesterday I won event #1 of the Oct. Macau Poker Cup series. Just a small buyin tourney I wasn't even planning on playing. ~130usd R/A, and pretty much a turbo shove fest as well. 1st was $4k with free entry to the Red Dragon (the MPC main event, 1300 buy in) and I got a really nice glass trophy to boot, which I think is really cool because it's something tangible I can show to my parents etc. that sorta legitimizes what I do (with a tv appearance @ some huge event being the ultimate legitimizer)
Pretty much ran amazing from start to finish. Kinda regrettable actually, because when I won the FTP 50/50 at the start of 2009 I won like maybe 2 flips and the rest was sheer dominance and getting it in good. This time I just got it in horrible a bunch of times and sucked out, and despite being the chip leader at the FT the whole way through there were many times where I should've lost. Kinda wished I coulda used that run good for some bigger event . There was also one point during the FT where utg1 opened for everything but 1-2bb behind, folded to me OTB and at this point I thought everyone had folded before me, so I'm like stealing any 2 here so I announce "all in" with my 52o then I see utg1 and I'm just like...well, fuck. He actually tanks for a bit and calls with a2s lol and I don't bink. But yeah I'm playing like my D-game this tourney and just binking like crazy.
What's funny is you know when people win live tourneys they pose with their chipstack + hole cards that won them the tourney? Well whenever my picture is up you're going to see me with my awkward chip stacking and the magical 43o that won me everything. So now everyone knows I sucked out . Truth is by HU I had like 98% of the chips in play and he jams like 2.5bb so it's a snap call with any two, and I rivered a straight vs J7o.
Anyway, haven't been updating much because I've neither been doing good nor bad. Hopefully I can make another update after I ship the Red Dragon :D. I think if I get to ship that, along with like ~75k usd, I might have enough points to win the Macau Leaderboard and winning that makes you Asia Player of the Year or something. Additionally, I read the slow habit PLO book and it's very good and I've been looking to start training PLO hardcore, so that should be fun to write about as well as I try to get good in that. GL everyone
September Results (3.5k)
PanoRaMa, Sep 30 2009
Ugh, totally lazy this month. I wanted at least 40k, and also 10k+ on top of that, but I was nowhere near on both parts. Just been pretty much on vacation, the past week I've been in Japan and haven't played a session at all. Hopefully I can just take that as a small break and really get back at it next month. This month was pretty much salvaged by rakeback and some flipping, ship it.
900 Cash
1800 RB
~800 Flipping/Tourneys
= 3.5k
Some interesting hands I haven't blogged about:
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/729235 - A hi 3bet pot value spot
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/741851 - 3bet pot T hi suicide 3bet all in ship it
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/741852 - 3bet pot river c/rai bluff
http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/741853 - Another A hi play
Year-to-date Graph:
+ Show Spoiler +
Uninspired Play
PanoRaMa, Sep 21 2009
I'm up a tiny bit on the month, but my play has felt very uninspired lately. I'm constantly second guessing my plays, and there are many times where I'm just clueless about what to do or how to play the hand. I just don't feel that sense of control, the notion and confidence that comes with knowing I'm the best player at the table, etc. I'm just getting run over by iPoker's taglags and it's an awful feeling.
Doing well on the year but over the Summer I've been like 1ptbb. I don't know why I always seem to do far worse during the Summer time, it was this way last year as well. Only difference being last year I was near busto . Gonna try to watch some vids and get some sweating to hopefully snap me out of this rut.
Going to Japan in a few days for a bit over a week, then back to Taiwan, then back to Macau for Macau Poker Cup late October, then Cebu (Philippines) in November. GL me.
Busto to MSNL
PanoRaMa, Sep 03 2009
Exactly one year ago I wrote a blog post entitled "MSNL to Busto", the entirety of which can be found here:
+ Show Spoiler +
I post blog entries so infrequently that I doubt anyone's going to read this, but I'm quite possibly the worst player in the world right now, or at least I feel like it. It's actually come to the point where I'm immensely close to quitting poker altogether and have to start thinking about my alternatives for making money. If you go through my posts for the past several months you'll see nothing but the same whining and losing that has perpetuated til now. I'm officially a break-even, if not losing, player after once being able to break 200nl on FTP for 5.5ptbb over 200k hands. I won't get into details, the gist of it can be found in my earlier posts. But basically
- Since I didn't post an august results thread, I'm probably down somewhere between 3k and 4k in August alone.
- I've effectively broken even starting March, which comes out to around 180k hands or so of breakeven. I would post a graph but hands prior to May have been lost, and I'm nowhere near my desktop right now which contains all my hands since then, bu feel free to peruse previous entries.
- I'm also in quite a bit of a financial situation, which means I need to cash out the remainder of my operating roll and possibly find a stake from my higher stakes friends.
Currently I'm in Japan on the vacation of my life (yes this trip did kinda contribute to my financial situation, I'm not making excuses or anything ) and have played a bunch of poker here on my off days and have been getting absolutely manhandled at 200 and 100nl.
This is kinda one giant whine entry now that I think about it, so I'll quit complaining. To wrap up, basically within a month I should be able to figure out whether or not I want to quit this game for good (because all the time wasted and emotional strain this game gives me is no good whatsoever for me, I'd rather focus on my other forms of income). For the time being, I'm effectively BUSTO! GL to me.
http://www.liquidpoker.net/blog/viewblog.php?id=552886
That was easily the lowest point of my career. After having made a decent amount of money playing poker, I honestly thought my time was up. I remember reading a F4Zi post around this time stating his intent to quit poker as well (ofc he never did), and one part of his post said he had accumulated over 100k from this game. I was sitting in my apartment in my most favorite city in the world, Tokyo, Japan, thinking "If I quit now what would I have to show for it?" It was soul crushing...I had accomplished nothing despite having so many aspirations to actually do well. I once played WarCraft 3 competitively, I never became amazingly good but I devoted myself to figuring out the game. In the end I accomplished nothing, just a few years of my life I could never get back, for zero dollars, for zero recognition.
I was in too deep with poker. What's that stupid saying? Putting all your eggs in one basket? I was very careless with college, taking dumb electives with absolutely no idea what to major in. I had no other financial opportunities besides poker, and if I quit poker the only option I'd have would be to return to school, accept the fact that I'd have to graduate much later than all my friends, and figure out what to do from there. As a poker player, it's a bad spot to be in - to be restricted to only one option. As poker players we pride ourselves on our freedom of choice and liberated lifestyle.
My pride was long gone by this point. I cashed out the remaining few thousand in my FTP account to ensure I'd have enough for expenses and school for at least 1 quarter, and asked my friend Matt for a stake to play 1/2. The deal was I'd take 8k now and pay back 10k by the end of the year. I had 4 months to get things straightened out. Part of the reason why I offerred 20% roi was so I can get some coaching from Matt as well, at this point I was determined to just start new and improve back to a winning style all over again.
Thankfully, I started running well soon after which gave me a great confidence boost. I soon left my buddy Joe who I had gone to Japan with. If Matt were instrumental in helping me strategically, Joe was instrumental in helping me understand my emotional tilt and the nature of variance. One month later, I took 4th in the Daily 80 Special for 9k and paid back the stake.
In the remainder of 2008 I was able to make around 25k, and had gone back to school.
2009 started off really well and at this point I'm up 70k for the year. It took making monstrous strides in my understanding and improving of not just poker theory but being a better poker professional. I took an extended break from school after taking 1 quarter of classes in 2008. I'm extraordinarily thankful to my friends, coaches, and just anyone that gave me words of encouragement or a reality check.
Over the course of the last 1 year since I wrote the original blog post I've made roughly 100k. I'm still VERY far from where I want to be, and 100k is definitely nothing to be complacent about, but I'm extremely proud of what I've been capable of this past year. Looking back on it now, it was because of WarCraft 3 that I even met Matt and Joe in the first place (both extremely good American War3 players in their prime). My gaming background is what brought my to LiquidPoker as well. It seems like in a way, WarCraft 3 was indirectly responsible for my Poker "success". It's an interesting intangible, that I think everyone here should be thankful for .
So I'd like to extent my deepest gratitude to the people I talk to constantly online that, in their own ways help me tremendously: Matt, Joe, bertkc, cheet, Winston, Uptown, Andrew C., Pillage, Chris C., Ray, Peter, and of course people at LP who put up with my blog whining and have given me encouragement, including Exil, BalloonFight, jolin, collegsucks, fayth, ket, Rich, k2o4, TianYuan, night2o1, zulunation, etc.
I wouldn't wish horrible downswings or breakeven stretches upon anyone reading this, but if you are unfortunate enough to be stuck in a corner like that just know that there's at least one other person out there that's been able to make it out.
Good luck guys
August Results (4.5k)
PanoRaMa, Aug 31 2009
Very disappointed with my August. Didn't get to play that many hands (a lot of that is primarily HU), ran terrible with a lot of frustration as well, and also didn't last very long in the APPT Macau main event (I was prob like 180th place out of 429 or so). Next month I've definitely got to step it up :|. I blame baccarat though, I'm down like 2k on there lifetime. F table games.
1.3k Online, 2.1k Rakeback, 1.1k Live = 4.5k
Not much else to say. Macau is a GREAT city if all you care about is sex and gambling, but besides that the city is so empty. I spent my 21st birthday here a couple nights ago though, and had a blast just being w/ my homies etc.
I'm leaving Macau in 2 days, back to Taiwan. After that it's going to be Macau AGAIN for the Macau Poker Cup late October, then APPT Cebu, Philippines in November.
Four more months to go, I'm at roughly +70k on the year so I gotta make ~7k a month to get to 100k+. Wish me luck
Year-to-date Results:
+ Show Spoiler +
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