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Need $40 Skrill can do $45 paypal.




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hi liquidpoker,

I currently have a Ergohuman but its shit and my neck hurts, I think its asian size and its too small, its the worst chair that I ever had,
it pulls my lower back AND my neck forward like its made for those MIB coffee worms, ridic

anyway,
I'm more inclined to buy the Herman Miller Embody but I haven't done any research about treadmill desk, so I'm here asking you to do the research for me :D

treadmill desk looks like another hipster crap like those dorks that sit in a yoga ball,
is that correct or is legit ?

Herman Miller embody costs about 1.6k USD here
I dont know how much a treadmill desk costs


which one should I buy ?


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I'm eeking it out guys. Eking it out. I just did my bills and I've been eeking it out. I really don't know. No job is stable. No matter how much I renounce it seems like my monthly expenses are barely covered by my paychecks. It's kind of what I'm going for. To just live a real simple life and eke it out. There is little comfort in this life. I have no desire to chase the worldly life. I feel estranged from the ordinary life. One of my old, good friends just sent me a thank you letter for attending his wedding and my wedding gift. He said he will put the cash towards buying a house. In that moment I just felt kind of bad for him. Marriage, house, kids............ He probably feels kind of bad for me. From most viewpoints I am a bum. I AM a bum that wants nothing to do with society except for maybe some friends but quality friends are hard to come by for a bum like me. I don't want to go out to dinner, I want no part in entertainment, and I want no part in this society. It can be quite a lonely path with out a community but I am not ready to be a monk. Here I am writing a blog again. It's like my dissatisfaction is seeping out into different avenues of addiction which only makes the dissatisfaction worse. Life is a bumpy ride that is for sure.


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I think I am writing this blog out of boredom and maybe glimpsing a bit of despair. That's what boredom entails anyways. If you get bored enough it is difficult not to confront your own death. I am winding down my days off to head back into work tomorrow morning. Besides Refuge Recovery meetings I am mostly isolated. My parents are gone for 2 weeks. Besides my habit of napping I feel I use the time to my benefit. I really don't know if writing this blog is beneficial. I should just meditate and tend to the garden. I linger on that sage suggestion. But, no, I will write on. An addiction some (accurately) say. This blog has brought me a lot of useless chatter but also some jewels. Like any good addiction there is intermittent reinforcement.

...

So, I decided to meditate and tend to the garden. There was a phrase that kept coming to me in meditation: Ever vanishing present. The ever vanishing present. I can snap my fingers in 1/365th of a second. That isn't even the present. The flower is closer to annihilation the instant it blooms. It wilts regardless of rain or shine. What are we doing in this ordinariness, this everydayness?

This isn't therapy. Perhaps it was. That whole ordeal was foolish. Transparency in an online blog is foolish. Taking risks in a format like this is foolish.

I had the thought of caring about my viewership. I hope k2o4 is right in that some sort of spiritual vibe is passing through the air. It would be for the benefit of all of us. I don't think this is true though. This is a dwindling gambling and entertainment website.

I had an acquaintance tell me yesterday that I have changed dramatically since he first met me. I carry myself better and seem very comfortable in my skin now and that whatever I am doing to keep doing it. Part of that is caring less what people think about me but it's hard not to indulge in a compliment like that a bit. I have been mostly open in that meeting what I have been doing. I have been renouncing worldly things, meditating, and studying Buddhism. Previously, with the help of LP I studied Neoliberal Economics, Anarchy, Edgar Morin, Byung Chul Han, etc. It is all documented here. The worldly society is bunk guys. See, I don't want to fall into self-congratulatory bs which I may have just done. Taking refuge in the 3 jewels changes things. Abstaining from substances and sex changes things. Eating only the bare necessities in food. It's a lot of little things. Giving almost all my clothes to charity. Meditation. Learning. Reflection. These are all things I should not forget.

I am unsure of the point of the last paragraph. Perhaps to document. Perhaps to make sense of it all.

Ever vanishing present moment. Let's make it count.


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Well hello there people who still use LP,

Don't shoot, I come in peace

I first started posting blogs back in 2007, and boy did I post a lot. I'm happy to see that I still have the record for most blog posts on the site, holding strong at 633 (but DustySwedeDude is catching up, so I have to start posting again to hold onto this auspicious achievement).

It used to be so damn busy here, a hustle and bustle of online poker activity. I guess that was the poker boom, and the end of BW, and the arrival of smart phones, and the rise of social media's domination of content... all factors which I'm guessing led to this slightly ghost town vibe.

But that means those of you who are still here, are truly dedicated. I appreciate that, cause out of all the online communities I joined into, this is definitely the one I shared the most with. I was close with my StarCraft teams, but I was generally the manager and focused on running the thing rather than enjoying it. Here at LP I was just focused on poker and me, and it was fun to meet so many of you during those times, to learn poker, to talk shit, to be exposed to all sorts of interesting topics and debates... ahh good memories.

When I quit grinding after my trip to Southeast Asia, I continued on the path of being focused on me, and finally experienced the joy of attending school because of wanting to be there, not because someone is forcing me. I decided to use my time in school as an opportunity to research and learn about everything I'd ever been curious about, and come to my own conclusions. I'd gotten really good at copying other people's statements on controversial topics, and while they worked during interactions out in the world, I didn't actually know the logic or data behind why the statements were true, or even if they were true.

Going back to university and taking it seriously was a big awakening to me, as I first got my mind blown by all the mainstream info about how amazing the universe is, and then got my whole world shattered when I realized the mainstream answers were limited and it was ok to jump off the cliff into the crazy answers, into the world of investigating consciousness and what this reality really is. And when I say shattered, I mean things were falling to pieces all around me, I had no idea how to interact with the world anymore upon realizing that so much of my behavior was wrong or beliefs were not true. I went back to school as a 26 year old in 2010, but halfway through I'd crumbled back to my 12 year old self, as I realized that everything I'd used to build my personality during my teenage years wasn't based on me, just based on copying in an attempt to survive. I had to relearn how to be around people, and new techniques for dealing with the anxiety which had always plagued me. It was a total nervous breakdown, which I soon learned was also my spiritual awakening.

The biggest realization I had was that healing was important. I'd always done my best to be tough and strong and recover quickly and not feel it and numb the pain and don't be a pussy and be a man. My closest friends as a teenager were all going through the same thing, and we'd often become friends because we met by punching each other in the face, and we'd be tough during the day but when we got drunk enough at night tears and bro hugs would arise. Then we'd go destroy some property or beat someone up to feel better, not realizing how the destruction always made us feel worse in the end. We were friends cause we had brief moments of healing together, but we didn't know how to truly heal because everything we'd learned about being a man was getting in the way.

Halfway through my Psychology degree I decided that continuing to get straight A's wasn't as important as diving into the crazy stuff. It started with marijuana. I used the university's resources to do a deep dive into the research, and I found out about the conspiracy theory level shenanigans which had occurred to suppress the scientific truth about cannabis. I realized that the opportunity to legalize was fast approaching and that Colorado could be the first domino tipped to start a process of legalization around the world, so I dedicated myself to the political process and organized my campus. We crushed it and won a huge victory, something I'll be proud of being part of until my dying day <3

Along the way I opened up to alternative healing modalities, and especially the world of meditation and yoga. I'd grown up with exposure to both through my dad, but had always rejected them as woo woo, weirdo, extremely unenjoyable, and a place where crazy people hung out and talked about spiritual mumbo jumbo. But that piece of my personality had fallen of when everything shattered, so I began to tiptoe cautiously into what had always looked like the abyss...

Luckily my childhood exposure to family friends like Richard Davidson, Jon Kabat Zinn, and Daniel Goleman, amongst many other amazing minds of our time, had grounded me in how to scientifically approach the world of meditation. You see, my dad started something called the Mind and Life Institute, which has been bridging science and spiritual practices for over 30 years. It all started by bringing scientists to India for a meeting with the Dalai Lama, and has grown into a vibrant community of scientists and contemplative practitioners who are learning from each other. The meetings inspired loads of research, including the famous studies done by Richard Davidson with Mattieu Ricard. With the data they collected a new mainstream acceptance to the benefits of meditation has developed. I watched that process happen around me as a kid growing up, and it informed so much of how I approached my psychology degree, and my personal dive into the abyss.

As I began to practice yoga and meditation, it became clear that I needed to make it my lifestyle. I became a yoga teacher and began teaching 8 classes a week, of all types and styles. As my practice developed I learned more and more about my body, about my thoughts, about my energy... I began to feel things I'd never felt, see things from new perspectives, and find new ways of interacting with myself. While my personal research into "wtf is going on in this world and who the hell am I" had left me shattered, my practice of meditation and yoga helped to build me back up into a new person, updated to version 2.0.

That started a path of healing for me, which I'm still on right now. I've had a few more upgrades since then, often thanks to the beautiful help given by plant medicines while working with loving shamans, and I know I have many more patches left to come. But I'm finally starting to be ok with that, to be ok with being on this ride, on this journey of growth and evolution.

Resisting what is, resisting the bad feelings, resisting how things are... that has been my habit, that has been my pattern. Meditation has been the great teacher of learning to accept what is, right now, as it is. Learning to allow what is happening, to happen. And to be fully present with myself, my emotions, my stories, my thoughts, my energy, without resisting or forcing anything.

So the journey continues, as I'm just a silly noob who has barely begun upon the path. But I'm happy to see that I'm not alone, as a few of you other long time members are now talking about meditation, Buddhism, addiction, and healing. I guess this site is still about poker, but for those of us who have been using it for over a decade, maybe it's also now about our journey of evolution from the fervent pursuit of money, believing it was what we needed for happiness, to a deep dive into ourselves to find that inner source of happiness which doesn't depend on the transient nature of the external reality.

Or maybe I've just become a woo woo hippie dippy crazy person I guess that's ok too <3


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Noah Levine, a "guru" in the avenues of meditation (Against the Stream), and recovery and Buddhism (for profit Refuge Recovery treatment center and not-for-profit Refuge Recovery) is alleged to have engaged in sexual misconduct with 7 to 10 women as well as sleeping with a married woman, sleeping with students, and misusing company funds for personal use in an "extravagant" and "out of touch" manner. Article here

Makes me feel a little bit better about my caffeine addiction, eating ice cream at lunch, and then being bored so jerking off and taking a nap today and now writing a blog... The answers are definitely in the Dharma and not Bumble. It is the Buddha's teachings that we should be following and not Noah Levine although he was a trusted spiritual teacher to many and I feel for them. I mostly feel for the women abused/harassed. Most of my friends are in Refuge Recovery so it will be interesting to see what happens. I don't see why it couldn't be improved. Buddha should be the icon of Refuge Recovery not Noah Levine.


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Anonymous (2011) - I give an in-depth review, complete with character breakdowns, and plot spoilers (for those unconvinced about watching period dramas like myself) 8/10 this is some good shit bros.
https://foundaz.com/2018/06/10/anonymous-2011/ - link-trailer-review-spoiler-info

https://foundaz.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/anonymous.jpg


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First, I would like to document the difference meditation has made in my life. It is a training of the mind. Quite possibly the most important training one can undertake.

Reflections on Death:

All who are born will die. It is miraculous I woke up this morning in good health! The fact that I may die at any moment means I should be living life without laziness or procrastination. There is only the Dharma.

Reflections on Impermanence:

Nothing is permanent or stable. I repeat nothing is permanent or stable. As much as we like to delude ourselves and cling and grasp nothing is permanent or stable. There is only the Dharma.

I took a walk on the beach last night as the sun was setting. The water was very choppy and chaotic. It reminded me of my thoughts when I first sit for meditation. An airplane flew over. From that perspective the ocean is vast like the starry sky. Even the most choppy of waves have an inception and a dissolving. It was appropriate that when I was nearly finished for my walk at the inlet the waves are much calmer and almost non-existent. They appear and dissolve rather quickly or don't show up on the radar whatsoever.


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