Failed to make it as a pro since July 2011 (well who would try it at NL25 -NL50,only a mad man, but I feel great for trying).
EDIT: mad man in the UK in the Capital of Scotland where overheads like rent are extreme when compared to my country of origin ( small city in The Czech Republic) or Russia not even mentioning Africa. I have a very happy NL50 Russian pro in my poker group
Applied for 10 jobs last 2 days from a cook in a local pub, overseas financial adviser to english teacher in China.I will do anything really just to get some moneys and grind pokers on the side.
It all got fucked up when I took on the ghost writing jobs and wrote most of my gf's postgraduate dissertation, since then I got burnt out and my epic regime never took off again to the state it was when I started playing poker full-time. It was some 2 month derail with overnight dull work on financial forecasting and female luxury goods, and the past 2-3 months after that have been really bad volume vise and regime wise..
Now the very same girlfriend that I basically finished 40%+ of her postgraduate year for 'wants a break', mentioned a year long one ,sleeps at her friend's and went partying with her friend tonight. When I mentioned break up she freaks out and asks what kind of love it is I have for her lol females.
Oh well, life is life and I <3 poker for forcing me to not give a fuck and not look into the past.
Also, RIP my grandfather, I went for the funeral to The Czech republic on Dec 11th and came back 3 days ago. It really sucks when I live abroad and haven't seen him at all in one year, it got to me quite bad. It's not easy talking to your elderly relatives over the phone when all you hear is how bad they are coping, I was a bit of a coward for not calling my grandpa and grandma because I knew they are ill and will hear the active people as I know them only tell me about their struggle. Don't ignore your family I tells you.
All in all, 2011 was a good year. I graduated successfully, did what I had to before moving on - fail at micros, finished my gf's degree and was with my family over Christmas for the first time in five years.
So I am here, feeling pretty positive, alone, on New Year's eve with my two friends I brought from my trip to CZE:
1L version
0.5L version
Graph since Late July 2011
+ about 10BI from Bodog without hud and tracking
+ 57% rb on eurosites RB, FPP sng's on Stars.
Life expenses, writing other people's papers and your GF's dissertation for free and dota are a bitch, it is possible indeed to make it at micros but it's very hard if not impossible to move up.
Plans for 2012: The world ends anyway I saw it in a movie...
Seriously though, I will sort it out with my (asian) GF or fly solo for a while, get a job and grind stress and cashout free. I'm not even sure in which country yet, although I got student debt in the UK which I'd like to get rid of before I move on to likely destinations like Czech Republic, China, or Thailand. It's too fucking depressing in here in Autumn-Winter.
EDIT: Oh and I also have a bet going on with my mum on who loses more KGs in 6 months, loser pays return plane ticket for the other one. If I lose I might as well shoot myself as she is over 50 and I a, a former high level sportsman
GL LP, I go drink my friends and hit the Edinburgh nightlife solo like a very drunk lonely hawk
If you hear this song many a time beforehand without the video like I did, you will most likely imagine this serious but free looking woman and a great feel good melody.
Then the clip strikes and you just can't stop laughing, well at least I couldn't. A+ execution.
From the same guy, the original version of the song that got later destroyed by a commercial vocal version and a mainstream video. Just make sure to watch the whole thing, as the point is nothing short of epic.
Sup LP! I came back from Dota caused short hiatus (fuelled by a fat tax refund from the Government ), and this time around I pretty much 80% play 20% watch videos or spend time on forums.
That doesn't mean I can't show you your typical afternoon in Edinburgh does it?
I re-watched the speech from nFo's blog, and I must say I have a different belief when it comes to long term motivation.
To explain what I believe in, a basketball coaching legend, John Wooden has to take stage.
In short we are talking about the difference between expected curves of learning and achievement. What most mainstream adverts and movies and pop culture would make you believe is that something like this happens:
And life is full of endless climaxes, never slowing down, you keep learning and getting higher and you should hunt these climaxes, as much as you can.
But what really happens with vast majority of people (There are exception) is this:
You become obsessed, neglecting side aspects of your life, family, exercise etc. You jump into one thing without keeping track of balance, and sooner or later you will realize that there is no such thing as an endless series of climaxes, and that the initial learning curve is simply not sustainable. You either lose interest and move on another thing that gives you immediate steep learning curve, only to give up again later, or you simply burn out.
So what do I believe is the correct path, especially for poker players? The path of mastery, where you do have climaxes but small and gradual, you are in peace with long periods where all you do is practice what you learned, and where all you do is in balance be it the attention you pay to your family, health, poker and learning alike. You know when one thing stops and another one starts and you know how to switch off and where you priorities lay.
To be on the correct path to mastery, to learn new things in poker, patiently practice them and make them part of my unconscious competence before moving onto another things and to pay close attention to my family, health and balance in my life. To just be on that path is a never ending end in itself. For me being able to follow that path and being happy in the long haul is what matters.
[ ] Volume
[ ] Results
[ ] Kept a poker diary, analysed a ton of hands
[ ] Kept a food diary
[ ] Kept schedule
[ ] Had sweat sessions, talked on Skype as much as I wanted
[ ] Progressed a lot with Mathematics of Holdem and Math attacks
[ ] Had a lot of circuit+strenght gym sessions
Although:
[x]signed up for Tai-Chi and Yoga Classes and went twice to both
[x]started studying Mathematics of holdem
[x]read Peak Performance Poker from Travis Steffen
This month started pretty well, I had my focus on again after some ghost writing jobs in July took it away. I was in the zone, exercising, eating 5 times per day, studying and I spent some 6 hours on mathematics of Holdem at the start of the month and made a ton of notes. What a baller, right? But then something went terribly wrong...First, I have decided to cash out from Pokerstars and head into rakeback waters of iPoker and to the fishy land of Bodog that 0 good regs play and the games are as good as 'back in the day'.
But sadly, because of a glitch in William Hill cashier all my money, including 100% of my real life money, got blocked for over a week, no matter that I spent over 12 hours on the line with supports of WH and my bank. Let me tell you, being busto is all right, and I am quite used to it. But knowing you have money but can't touch any of it, even to buy yourself food and not have to beg your girlfriend for change, is just another level of stress especially when you know you can lose all of it and more. Never before I could co connect with you guys that have your money stuck on FTP as much as I can now, and if someone unwisely kept most of their wealth on the site probably the best advice I would get is to just write it off as business loss, both in your account and most importantly in your mind, look at what you have now and try to do do the best you can in your situation. If the money does come, you will have a nice surprise and a bonus. As I have realized even when my money was in limbo for just a week, the uncertainty and stressful hope and everyday checking if your money got freed up will only make you worse off emotionally.
Before I got my money back, but also sometime after, the Girah thing happened. I must say I took it way more personally than I should have. First of all the scandal broke off right in the time where 100% of my wealth was blocked because of a poker site. Second, when Girah came forward, I was hooked. It was just a great story of a guy who made it in a very short time span, it gave me hope and belief and really was one of the main motivators for giving poker a full-time shot. I was hooked on his poker static interview, his well, and things he posted on poker strategy, a lot of advice from those interviews is on my wall and still in my head. And it is still good advice I must say, well it better be - it comes from Haseeb who is a great video maker and story teller. When it leaked that he cheated, that he lied about pretty much everything,that his graphs are most likely fabricated and that Girahh account was breaking even at NL1000 for quite a bit of time I felt betrayed. Never before I read more than one page on Two plus two, but this time I couldn't stop. It was a good soap opera on it's own, but even more so when I was so emotionally involved with poker blocking my money and someone I looked up to turning out to be a fraud. I read every single page, every thread, every blog, it was around 500 pages of forum posts and incredibly lengthy Haseeb's bullshitting essays and four hours of audio interviews. Again I think I simply cared too much, or was just entertained too much, there is rationally nothing I could do and engaging only in things you have some sort of control over will just make your life so much more productive.
Once that stormed off, and my money got untied I was still not able to do my job. Instead, I had to put in a ton of work in helping my GF Finish her post graduate dissertation. I felt responsible really as I persuaded her to change her topic some 2 months before submission from something she didn't care nor knew anything about but seemed easy to something she is obsessed about - Thought process, reasoning and how chicks behave when buying luxury handbags. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I just had to help her and after an all nighter of editing it, I am finally done.
So I must say this month was really hell, I hate it when I can't do my job, and poker is just that - my job. The great positive is that I now have regular Tai Chi and Yoga on Saturday and Sunday, and even though I was hyper stressed and worked all night I actually feel pretty good and energized, filled with energy ready to jump into the grind and start learning again. The classes just showed me how great is to have some anchors you have in your schedule, that you do every week at the same time, without having to persuade or push yourself - it's just something you do, like brushing your teeth, or going for a massive shit every morning. I will try to introduce more and more anchors like that. Yoga and Tai-chi, live poker on monday evening, 2-3 hours for Math study on a fixed day and time every week, 'family day' every Thursday with my GF where I can't touch poker and have to get out in the city and do stuff. Also a project I have been working on -The Awesomes poker group, that will be based on fixed schedule of group events like a sweat session, concept discussion or group coaching, each one of them happening week after week, at the same time so that they become an effortless habit.
And finally, in exchange for helping her with her studies so much and supporting her, I have a promise from my girlfriend that she will now 100% support me in my pursuit of poker, at least until the agreed deadline at the end of February at which I will evaluate if I can make it and still want to make it in poker, and prove to myself and her that I can make decent money or if I quit it altogether and jump into a boring corporate career.
And just to add some more optimism...August is far from over. Let's see if I can get most of the boxes ticked by the end of the month
Cliffs: I do Tai-chi with average age of people in the class of 50, and Joga with where I am the only person out of 15 with a crotch cobra
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