Kilay

I can't even beat 10NL... GG dream being a solid poker player, please lol at me or whatever.

Suicide watch, kkthxbai !!!

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So, here it is. My biggest leak of all and I've been trying all kinds of stuff to get over it and I've gotten a little bit better at it but I still tilt way too hard. Fortunately enough I often am disciplined enough to almost insta-close session and try and cool off. But that doesn't really cut it. Before I close I often get a few hands in that I play tilted and at times this can become very costly which obviously hurts my winrate a shit-ton.

Now I was reading Myth's post the other day at Edzwoo's blog and he explained how a winrate can easily drop to a break-even/negative while you are more than capable enough to beat the stakes by little mistakes adding up and stuff. Now I only play 25NL and 50NL and I think this is my biggest problem. I am actually quite amazed how I can sustain a 3 ptbb/100 winrate with how hard I tilt at times even over a large sample size. This sample size even includes several occasions from about a 12-9 months ago where I didn't even have the discipline to close down my session and just started tilting away buy-ins and wouldn't stop before I lost like 2-4 buy-ins on top of what I was down.

Now I obviously know this is extremely bad, I am even ashamed of it a little but the only way to improve on things is by being honest to yourself and trying to improve instead of just acting like it never happened. Now I am just asking for advice around here how other people that may have had big tilt problems improved on discipline and maybe got a way off getting back into a relaxed but focused state of mind very quickly.

I think for people to hopefully give good advice, I should explain my tilt since I don't think it's completely the same as the regular tilt. The thing is, I don't tilt (much) when I get a bad beat. I know I got in the money good, I am annoyed that I lost, sure but I don't play any worse. I am able to go, whatever, got in good, percentages, long run, all will be good.

The times I tilt and when I tilt badly is because I didn't get my money in good. Even if it's at occasions where I post my hand, link it to people or whatever and they tell me it was a cooler. I am always wondering, could I have folded, did I make mistakes on previous streets maybe even. And then the moment I found out I made a mistake, I start tilting... BAD !! I am big perfectionist, always have been in other aspects of my life and this totally gets me going. I think of myself, that I am not allowed to be mistake. I ask myself to do everything I do in a (near)perfect way. Now you obviously know poker is a game without perfect information hence you will always make mistakes. After that, you can ask yourself the question if the mistake was avoidable or not. Often it is, sometimes, it wasn't.

This is the hardest part for me. I have an extremely hard time identifying the mistakes I couldn't have avoided. I'm pretty much very result oriented. Whenever I get my money in bad, I always think of myself as making a big mistake and start hating myself. I don't have the confidence to say, well, that was unlucky but I played it perfectly even though I got it in as a 30/70 dog this time.

I could ramble on and on about this but I guess this pretty much sums it up and so, I was wondering if anyone has any good and solid advice on this and maybe can help me out a little. From own experiences or whatever.

Thanks in advance, Kilay

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Turned 20 years old yesterday and I am still losing money, yoopdie-fucking-doo. I am hating both.

FML !!!

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So I've been running break-even for my last 20k hands or so and been complaining and feeling miserable overall (got some RL problems at home as well and poker ain't helping). But this week I've been talking to good old KTD and I really need to turn my mindset around and use all my energy for good things as much as I can so I decided to post some hands and try and plug some leaks with help from people around here.

Hand 1:

This hand was against somebody playing 4/4 over 30 hands. Before this point he didn't 3-bet yet, neither did he enter a pot postflop so I don't have any stats on that. Basically, because he seemed nittish and I opened UTG I think his range is AA-QQ and some JJ and AK. At the flop c-bet everything is still possible but on turn I think JJ and AK is out of the question and I am mostly wondering if he still fires QQ or if it's just AA-KK. Also, is my range at any point to optimistic (unlikely) or pessimistic ??

+ Show Spoiler +

Hand 2:

I thought this was reasonably standard (although maybe thinnish) but just checking. Sample size is smallish because it's just the 2nd orbit but this is already the 3td time he does this in 10 hands. If you need numbers, he is playing 80/40 and obviously 100% 3-bet.

+ Show Spoiler +

Hand 3:

This guy is playing 81/13 over 20 hands and generally has shown that he doesn't like folding so far. He seems reasonably aggro so far but ofcourse the sample size is really small.

+ Show Spoiler +

Hand 4:

Villain on this hand has been playing around 76/57 and seems extremelly aggro so far and doesn't generally fold, sample size is only 25 hands though. Thing I am mostly worried about here is his range. He can have both a worse and a better hand. Most likely either a flush or a 2-pair combination imo. Now I was wondering if a guy like this would insta-shove over my big raise on the turn with this same range or can we narrow it down more ??

+ Show Spoiler +

Hand 5:

Villain in this hand is pretty nitty preflop but doesn't like folding and gets pretty aggro postflop from what I've seen so far. Playing 14/7 with 40 AFreq and hasn't folded to a c-bet yet in the 3 pots he has faced on. Basically I think the turn either gives him 2-pair or a draw most of the time. Even if he has like 2-pair or in the worst case scenario QJ I obviously still have equity. Thought anyone ?? Also wondering if people prefer shoving on the turn instead of the route I took or maybe even prefer a fold somewhere in the hand?

+ Show Spoiler +

So, those are all the hands I was hoping to get some help with. All thoughts on all the hands are appreciated.

I hope you all run good for the rest of the month (including me, would be nice for a change) and thank you for the help on the hands.

Kilay

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Fuck the month of May, that will be all.

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Omg, i just did some instane revelations... i was out with some friends and we drank some and we tlke d about whateber stufff and he started talking about wold problems and all of a sudden, i relaise... it's the fucking end off the world... like, he studies that shit and told me that pakistatian people are pissed off at the western world and they want to nuke them and everytihng they stand for. Anyways, I guess that's all, he just told me that within now and 20 years the 3rd world war will start...

it will be europe + usa + candada + south america and mexico etc. against china, middle eastern asia like iran and pakistand and what not and the entire continent of afirca, we are going to be so fucked...


that is all, greetings, kilay

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Comments (11)

Ok, so I am doing really well this month so far pokerwise. I am playing a lot, trying to play 40k hands this month and I'm just slightly behind pace on that, nothing a good solid weekend won't fix though. Apart from that I been talking a whole shitload of poker with Royalsu and KillThemDonks from LP.net and it's progressing my game a lot.

Now thx to their help I found out my fundamentals are reasonably solid but I got one big problem... I am way too nitty and miss a crapload of value in certain spots which obviously is a very bad thing. So the only thing I was really wondering, has anyone experienced problems and if so, how did you help it ?? Did you really put small notes on your screen ?? Maybe played some drunken poker one time and that made you realise that people call/bet and raise a lot lighter because you were doing it while being intoxicated ??

Anyways, all the pointers are appreciated and I guess I'll post some monthly wrap-up after this month, never done something like that before.

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Meh, since I ran like absolute crap yesterday and I think it´s a good idea to get a bit de-tilted, I decided to make this way long due trip report. It's been about two weeks since I went on my snowboarding trip with the family but since poker been going so well since I returned, I didn't take the time to type this. I guess Jason thought it had been long enough and emailed Pokerstars to activate my doomswitch so I'd type my trip report so I hope this will make me run good again.

Anyways, we left for our destination friday night on February the 20th, Nauders in Austria. We had some problems earlier with the snow (basically, just having no snow) when we went on skiing vacation in villages located lower in the mountains so we decided to go to a village that was placed quite high into the mountains this year. Nauders is placed around 1600m above sea level and the highest peak you can get to with the lifts is around 3100m above sea level. There hasn't been any snow problems in these mountains for over 20 years so we assumed we'd be ok. The village was extremely close to both the Swiss and Italian border and we could even take a bus to places in those countries to enjoy some of the mountains over there.

I know the order in which I'm doing this so far makes little sense but this is my first trip report ever, so bear with me. Let's do a little bit of an introduction first. I went on vacation with my dad's side of the family (divorced parents). So, my dad, little sister and brother and my stepmom and her kid and me ofcourse.



So, we'll go from left to right (kind of speaks for itself but whatever, for the slow people I guess): Me, my little sister (17) and my little brother (13). My dad isn't on this pic because he took it so I guess I'll grab another pic to show him.

Tadaaa !!!



So, now you met my family, I guess we can take off with this trip report. As I said before, we left at the night of 20th February. It was during the holiday season so that basically means that every-freaking-body is going on a skiing trip. So we expected some big traffic jams along the way and since we could enter the hotel rooms at around 14:00 in the afternoon, we decided to leave around 23:00 at night. Once we left we soon found out that not a lot of people thought it was a good idea to leave at 23:00 and therefore, it actually was a good idea since we didn't get into any traffic jam in the way over there. Because of that though, we did end up getting there way too early so we couldn't put our bagage in the hotel room yet when we got there. Whatever, around 08:00 we decided to get into our skiing outfit in the hotel bathroom and took our ski/board out of the car and went down to the mountain to check it out. The mountain was very nice and although it wasn't extremely large, it was big enough and there was almost no queue for getting onto the lift which was very nice. Since it was just the first day and we were quite tired from the trip we bought a 1-day pass to only a couple of the smaller lifts and just got back into the groove after not boarding for a year. Damn, I wish I'd live in some mountainside area and could board every day I want to... Anyways, we all got back into it a little bit and from sunday to friday we'd have an all mountain pass for all the lifts (including the lifts nearby in Swiss and Italy) so that was all good. That evening we went to eat early and I decided to call it a night pretty early and just go to sleep.

These two pictures aren't of great quality since we made them with a camera phone because we left the camera back at the hotel that day. Still the pictures are pretty ok of the scenery:





Day 1:

Ok, so we got a very solid night rest after the exhausting trip and this was the first day we'd really hit the mountains. Me and both my brother and sister were all in a skiing/snowboarding class because we didn't really know the area (was our first time in this place), neither did we know any people from previous years or whatever. Besides, it never hurts to work a bit on your technique again after sitting still for almost a year. So we had to snowboard a little with the teachers watching so they know what group to put you in. Me and my little brothe got put in the same snowboarding group with some other intermediates. Was pretty nice because apart from one of other guy, it was almost al girls with even some pretty hot ones tagging along.



That's a picture of the group, two people are missing but whatever, they tagged on a couple days later. Btw, note the girl in the white and orange striped jacket sitting next to me in the picture. She was some crazy 14 year old German chick from Stuttgart which I went out with a little later this week. She came across quite innocent but damn, she turned into a straight out beast when we hit the bars. According to what she told me it's something all people from Stuttgart do. Apparently, alcohol must be almost free there or people are loaded and they drink a ton of booze to get a nice night out started. Nothing really special happened this day. I got to know people a little bit but after the lessons, I just boarded down without too much notice and I went straight to bed again after dinner because I was still a little tired.

Day 2 + day 3:

Taking these two days together because otherwise this trip report is going to turn extremely long without too many interesting stuff in it. After the first day of lesson, we kept the same group and just went on exploring the mountains a little more and working on that technique. Especially for some other people, after a day or two I got it going again and was back at the level as how I left my skiing trip the year before but some people still needed to get back into things so I basically just enjoyed myself, talked to the hot girls in the group and boarded some while tagging along with the group. The snow for the entire trip was extremely good. 5 out 7 days of the trip it either was snowing at night so the slopes were filled with solid powder and some days it even snowed during the day, not too hard that you couldn't snowboard but I never mind getting a little fresh supply of powder. I got a little ''action'' shot from the same photo series where I got the pic above from, it's nothing spectacular. I got some little clip of me taking a slope off-piste but I'd need to upload it on youtube.com. I might do it later if people are interested...



Later those nights, I went out with the German girl I mentioned before. The town was extremely small and there wasn't anything around really worth being called nightlife but I guess a bar with 4 speakers and some colored lights where I could get some beers was good enough. The girl was really much fun to be around and she brought along a pretty hot friend of hers which was quite funny. Thing is, her English wasn't all that good so her friend ended up being the translator constantly because I don't really talk German. Once we got in the bar they both started drinking like mad. They told me they had to be home around 22:30-23:00 again (meh... 14-15 year olds...) so they were basically just aiming at downing as much drinks as people in the time they had and well... I couldn't leave behind being the big bad 19 year old, right ?? I mean, it'd be a shame getting outdrunk by some 14-15 year olds so I tagged along and after I had two beers and they split 3 cocktails the 14 year old (the one from the snowboarding class) wanted to take a shot. So we ordered a shot and from there on she didn't stop ordering shots anymore. The worst thing was, the first night, I was on painkillers so I wasn't really supposed to drink but being stubborn, I decided I couldn't stay behind. We ended up down like 4-5 shots within 15-20 minutes and we joined some group of German guys that were there too. I didn't understand shit of their conversation and it was hard to mix in but whatever, we had a good time. After a little while talking with the group of German guys, the girls had to be taken home and I decided I didn't really feel like going back to the bar just to talk to them German guys so I went home as well.

Day 4 + day 5:

These two days, I actually felt like crap. Don't really know what was wrong but I had stomach aches and didn't feel very good overall. I went boarding nontheless because I love it too much. Just took some pills to keep the aches down and went to the mountain. I felt somewhat better when I was just busy boarding again so that was nice but because of not feeling great I didn't go out these nights. The nightlife wasn't that big anyways and the 5th day the German girls didn't go out so I didn't see much reason to go and hit the bars by myself especially not feeling well. Isn't much to tell about the boarding here since I don't have enough solid action pics to show off my ''mad'' skills on the hills. It was pretty good, I got back into the groove and although most of the girls were scared (and some even didn't do any of it) we hit the snowpark. We took the small + medium jump a couple times each day and I even hit the halfpipe around 2 times although I can't really do any tricks in the halfpipe yet. Keep on practicing next year I guess and things will come together. The snowpark wasn't really big but the halfpipe was pretty good and so were the jumps (only two boxes and one rail there though, so that kind of sucked) so I practiced that a little bit and eventually got down a 180 (I'm a snowboarding noob...) which I was really proud of. We also practiced some fakie riding which I quite enjoyed because most people didn't do very well and I did because I accidently rode fakie for the first two days I ever rode a snowboard (I thought I was regular footed because I'm regular footed in skateboarding, turns out later I'm actually goofy footed in snowboarding, really strange) so I kind of practiced that before. Also, it seems that riding fakie is extremely important for being a somewhat skilled park rider and I enjoy doing the riding 180's and 360's which I got down fairly quickly. The 4th night we had a special buffet at the hotel and I was lucky to have my phone along to at least make a picture because it looked really, really good.



As you can see, the pic is a little bit blurry but it was basically an all fish buffet because of some religious holiday. Lots of sushi although that wasn't particularly great. I normally love sushi but these weren't of really great quality but whatever. The salmon and lobster was extremely good and they also had swordfish which I never had before and that also tasted really good. I also made a pic because of that ''statue'' you can see. They made a doplhin-shaped statue as an ornament for the buffet out of... butter. I'd never seen that before and I thought it was pretty cool so I obviously needed a pic. Anyways, the buffet was pretty good overall and I went to bed early again after dinner because I didn't feel great.

Day 6:

This was basically our last day of snowboarding and it was the absolute best. It snowed, A LOT, during the night before and the pistes were filled with powder. We decided to go a little off-piste because those were even more powdery and I can't say how awesome it was. First part of the day we went to the black slopes and basically just shredded those because the powder was awesome and those pistes were almost deserted because apparantly most people in this place are too much scared shitless to go down the black ones. Also, our snowboarding group slimmed down a little so that was quite good. All the girls left the day before which sucked a little because they obviously were nice company but we also made use of it a little by doing the black pistes and going into the park in the afternoon because all the girls were a bit scared to do this all. As I said, later in the afternoon we hit the park and we also hit the boxes a little, which I never did before. My little brother needed a little help taking it on because he was a little bit scared and didn't have enough speed to reach the end but that's ok. Anyways, I was quite proud because I just nailed the box in my first try which may have been a little expected since I have a skateboarding background. Anyways, I was obviously a bit down at the end of the day because I knew this was the last day of this amazing trip but I guess to every good thing comes an end.

Here are some pics of about half of the village we were in (yeah, seriously, it was that small... It was basically al just hotels and more hotels, oooh... and a skischool or whatever) made later that day to show how much it snowed. You can kind of tell of the look on the roof and everything, yeah, it really snowed a shitload that night.





Anyways, that was about, the last day most of the day was filled with the drive back home. We did go sledding for a bit before we went home because the traffic reports were saying it was very crowded on the roads in the morning so we had to pass some time before we went on the road. My little brother wanted to go sledding because they made a special sledding track from the top all the way down so I decided to tag along and try it out and it was surprisingly fun. Probably because it was pretty dangerous as well since I crashed several times and even got my ass partially down a fucking cliff when I couldn't take some sharp turn. Anyways, they rented out the little sleds at the top of the mountain and it was quite fun. I'll post a pic so you know what I mean. Unfortunately I don't have any picture of the track but I can just say it was fun.



Btw, the other girl in this pic is the daughter of my stepmom, just in case you are wondering.

Anyways, that pretty much wraps up my trip report. I certainly had a blast boarding there and I hope you had some fun reading this. Well, first off, I am just hoping at least some people will read it at all since I got quite some time down in this thing.

Just to poll the general opinion so I know how to improve (or whether to even post it at all) on my next trip report.

Poll: Did you enjoy the trip report ??
(Vote): Yeah, it was great, keep up the good work !!
(Vote): Yeah, it was okay, too many pics though...
(Vote): No, it sucks, get your ass out of here !!
(Vote): LOL, uhm... TL;DR !!

Anyways, once again, I hoped everybody that read it enjoyed the trip report and I wish you all the best of luck on the tables since it's sunday and everything.

Later, Kilay

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Comments (5)

Or at least... almost. Nice change of pace to use this blog for something else than whining about pokerbeats for once.

I am leaving this friday and I am super psyched about it. Some people on the forums seem fortunate enough to live in/nearby the mountains but I actually need to make a vacation out of it (ergo, I am not that good at snowboarding, only doing it one week a year...) since the nearest mountains are around a 6 hour drive. Going to Austria (somewhere in the middle of the Tirol providence) and we took a pretty high ground village this year since last year we had pretty sucky snow at a village that was on the foot of some smaller mountain chain in the Alps. Weather forcast is saying that it's snowing like mad in the area so won't be awesome weather to board but whatever, I guess it's way better than having shitty/no snow and good weather. Maybe it will clear up even and we'll have solid powder and a nice sun, that'd be sick awesome.

Just got myself a new board (at least, it's new for me, been used for two weeks) and I really want to try it out. It's currently in the shop to get it's edges sharpened and a waxjob. It's a Rossignol Scope from 2006 with Rossignol Unit bindings. Nothing too much state of the art but I got it for an extremely cheap price (thinking price/quality ratio, didn't get it for 25E obviously) so I am cool with it. I am buying a brand-new board next season anyway if I get the money. I guess I got to grind a little more but I'll get back to that after the trip. Should probably make a grinding schedule for March after I come back and grind more since I am back in the groove but just not making nearly enough hours. Especially since I dropped out of school (going to enroll in a new college in September, the other one sucks ass and got worse by the year, classes dropping out, education wasn't worth shit) so I want to make use of the months I have and grind my ass off but I am too lazy... Should really grind up a roll so I can grind somewhat regularly for solid money when I am back in school so I won't have to take up some crappy job for beer money and shit. Besides, I also just want to prove myself to everyone that I am smart enough to make it somewhere in this world.

Anyways, that's about it, not much to say pre-trip. If enough people are interested I'll make a solid trip report after I come back. Let me know if you'd guys like that because that'd mean it'd have to be extra alert on taking some pictures back on the slopes and everything.

Poll: Trip report?
(Vote): Hell yeah, bring back some solid stories !!!
(Vote): Like I want to see your ugly face on these forums...

For everyone else going snowboarding this weekend or whatever (hello Jason) have fun and shoot some pics.

Later, Kilay

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IAHSIUDGAYSUDFYUASFDYASFASYUCZYXCVKUYAFD^&ASCDYAUSDFUGULIASD

When does fucking long-term kick in, I can't freaking win if my life depended on it, winning half of what I am actually up EV-wise and I am trying to fucking recover from a huge downswing.

Cliffnotes: FML, mad monkey tilt and Stars = rigged, maybe FTP should work for me since that's supposed to be rigged for normal people.

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