Doing the wrong thing

I was kind of lonely at the NL10 tables last night. I felt like I didn't fit in.

There were all these really tight players sitting around the table, not calling my PF raises with AA, KK, QQ, A8s, 82o etc.

"Hey, does anyone want to play with me?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you're too loose. You're raising trash like 77 on the cut off. You're a looser."

"Am not!"

"Looser!"

"Stop it!"

"Loooooooser!"

I amuse my lonesome self by stealing the blinds from UTG for a couple of orbits. Then a couple of guys come in and start spewing chips. They suck out and double their stacks, much to the consternation of the tight kids. Wow. These are obviously the cool kids at the table!

"Hi! Can we be friends?"

"No."

"Why? I want to learn how to suck out too! Maybe we can suck out together!"

"You're too tight. You don't give yourself room to suck out," said one, as he got his chips in with an off-suited three-gapper, "You're a tag!"

"Am not!"

"Tag!"

"Stop it!"

"Taaaaaaaag!"

It was too much for a poor grinder to take. Next hand I got 88 and raised it on the button. Two callers, one of them short stacked. Flop was AJT. I checked. The next guy checked. The short stack shoved all 45c of his money into the pot.

Well, I was sure he had at least a pair and I was getting 1:5 odds to call and I could count my outs on the fingers of one hand with three fingers missing, but I really wanted to fit in so I called and the next guy folded.

The turn was a queen. The river was a 9. The short stack showed A2 and I proudly showed off my straight.

"Hey, look! I hit a runner runner gut shot straight! I sucked out! Wanna play?"

The short stack left without a word. Maybe he thought it was a fluke.

But I really hope I see him again so I can show him that it was no fluke. I really do know how to suck out!

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Think they'll let me play?

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Comments (2)

I have these moments when I am just 99.99999% sure that I shouldn't call, and I call anyway. Doesn't happen as much anymore, but it happened once yesterday and that was enough to turn a breakeven session into a session with a 60bb loss.

It was my last hand, the board had 5 hearts including the ace and I held the queen. The villain bet the flop, check/called the turn and check/shoved the river for something like twice the pot.

I requested time, went to pee, answered the doorbell and returned upstairs to click on "call". Argh...

I wonder if Hitler felt that way in the summer of 1941? He was probably sitting in Berlin with all his commanders going, "don't do it mein fuhrer! Don't do it!" There was probably even a little voice in his head saying the same thing. And Hitler probably responded, "I don't care! I am 9 countries up! Dat Stalin is a donkey! Ve vill infade Russia, and de man who tinks about bringing varm undervear vill be shot!"

Anyway I shut down the computer after that and went to teach one of my students. He paid me for the month yesterday so that took some of the edge off (I mean, I was only 6 dollars down at poker, but I am a sensitive new age guy and such things affect me... very... sniffle...).

Poker is going to be pretty intensive this month as the mid-year examinations are over and a lot of my tuition students are cancelling lessons for half the month. That means no extra income but plenty of time to work on poker.

So I woke up this morning and sat down for a three hour session, reminding myself that I had to play properly. It was all going okay until I hit an AA vs KK situation for 100bb. It was especially galling because I was the one with the AA this time and though we got it all in on the flop, he rivered a king. Thankfully, I bounced back thanks mainly to this table:

Hand one: doesn't involve me, but never trust a donk who can't spell the word "nothing".

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Hand two: it was not clear who SHARKPGH34 was talking to. On hindsight, probably me. Looks like itlgirl misunderstood and upped the donkey disrespecter factor!

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Hand three: um... don't call a PF raise at full ring with JQo? No, wait, call a PF raise with JQo, but for goodness sake top up your stack first, you miser.

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And immediately after that, the SHARKPGH34 says, "that's rediculous"

No, what's ridiculous is that you don't know how to spell ridiculous. Get out of my way, shark. Don't you know we Chinese eat your fins for dinner?

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Comments (8)

Well, after sessions with Lachlan and Lazyfish, I'm finding NL10 much easier. I run into fewer situations where I'm lost, and I feel more in control of my game. Most importantly of all, I've been WINNING at 6.5ptbb/100 over the last 5K+ hands instead of LOSING at 3ptbb/100. My stats have also loosened to 16/13, way up from my old stats which were tight as a nun's ass.

So I'm not ASSRAPING NL10 yet, but at the very least I'm giving it a gentle pat on the fanny each time I pass go.

Thanks everyone who helped out by giving advice and offering help, like collegesucks, Mikyor, Sheitan, Midian, Semper, Sennpu, Lachlan, Yaffie, Lazyfish and a whole bunch more whom I can't remember.

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Comments (4)

I ran into a shortstack today
The shortstack ran into my AK

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In the very next hand his hand was amazing
But he slowplayed preflop instead of raising

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I said, "it's how you use it, not the size of your stack."
But he had left the table and didn't come back.

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Comments (9)

Long, rambly post that goes nowhere.

Yesterday was a public holiday here and it was great fun.

Posting the "bad beats" in my previous blog entry was the best thing ever, since I got lots of replies about how they weren't bad beats at all but bad play and I definitely learnt a lot from that. Got some responses to my cry for help as well. So yesterday Lachlan was kind enough to sweat/coach me and I learnt a ton from it. As suspected, NL10 takes a completely different mindset and approach from NL5, and what's very +EV at NL5 is -EV at NL10. The difference in stack sizes relative to the blinds, the difference in skill level, the huge variety of players from maniacs to nits at the same tables all combines to make for such a very different experience.

Call it coaching, sweating or just friendly advice, but as someone who gives private tuition for extra income, I think getting lessons helps enormously for everything from poker to pastry-making. Posting hands is great, but there are so many things I was doing that I thought were "normal" which turned out to be bad. And if you don't know what you should change, you can't even start to change it.

I wasn't able to put Lachlan's teachings into practice on my own because after the session my wife and I went to the nursery and bought a shitload of stuff for our roof terrace, including 40 kilos of pebbles. Before heading home we decided to have dinner at Singapore's most famous roti prata shop, mentioned in someone else's blog: http://www.foodieparadise.sg/?p=90

For those who don't know what roti prata is, it's an Indian bread that is pan fried in ghee, a form of clarified butter. Ghee is almost 100% saturated fat, and a single roti prata about the size of a palm-sized pancake has about 350 calories (a big mac has 540), so you can imagine how fucking good it tastes. I had three, and one of those three had an egg in it, which adds another couple of hundred calories or so (my wife outdid me. She had egg on two out of her three. Girls who pick at their food are no fun). There was mutton and chicken curry to go along. We also had a cup of teh tarik (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teh_tarik) each, which contains a ton of sugar and condensed milk and almost tastes like dessert. Fucking awesome dinner that will cause massive heart failure for anyone over the age of fifty.

Worked it all off over the next two hours hauling forty kilos of pebbles, 10 kilos of soil and 6 shrubs up a flight of stairs, then repotting the shrubs and landscaping with the pebbles. Exhausting work! I could barely wake up for work today and my entire body aches. When I recover enough to lift my camera I'll post pictures.

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Comments (4)

I'm swallowing my pride and asking for a coach for NL10 fullring. I'm 6 buyins down after 20K hands and I don't want to waste any more time beating my head against the wall and then playing NL5 to replenish my bankroll. Best times for me are usually between 0300h GMT and 0700h GMT on Saturdays. I'm okay with other times as well, of course, just that that block is the most consistent. Drop me a PM if interested with rates please. Thanks.

EDIT actually, while I'm at it, why don't I just bitch about my luck today?

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Comments (13)

He has a soft spot for donkeys.

After a nice session yesterday I lost 2.5 buyins in fewer than 1000 hands today at NL10. 2 of those buy ins were from KK. KK vs QJ, villain hit two pair on the turn. KK vs AA all in PF. So bloody unbearable.

Decided to play some NL5 to replenish my bankroll and my ego. Steamed through the session gritting my teeth with testosterone pumping through my body.

River AF: 3.5
Turn AF: 6.5
Flop AF: 12.00

400 hands later I had made back the 25 dollars at a win rate of 68.12PTBB/100.

I miss NL5 so much where I can make money in 5 easy steps.

1. Limp in with PP
2. Flop a set
3. Shove flop
4. Get 3 callers
5. Profit

My favourite hand:

http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/431262

And then the hand immediately after that:

http://www.liquidpoker.net/h/431264

PS NL5 is like this heaven full of the dumbasses of NL2 and the stacks of NL10.

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Comments (2)

I stare glumly at my hole cards: AA. Over the last 15,000 hands, my AA has lost money. I go all in PF vs some donk with 35s. By the river, his 35s has transformed into 3 5s. I go all in PF vs some donk. 30 seconds later, the place looks like a hedonistic Bangkok brothel - two queens lying face up on the table and another pair of queens in a donkey's hole.

Out of a sense of duty I raise. Some donk calls. The flop is 2c7c3h. I bet. Donk min raises. I shove. Donk calls. The extreme stress of the situation causes my hyperactive imagination to take over.

I am no longer in my study. Instead, I am sitting across from the donk in a casino with an audience of a hundred people.

The turn is the king of clubs.

The river is the ten of clubs.

The goddamned donk turns over 2s3s! The audience gasps and I catch the words "donk" and "moron" being bandied around.

"The donk has 2 pair, 2s and 3s," announces the dealer.

"Wait!" I cry, "I have a pair of aces!"

"Donk!" says the donk. "My 2 pair beats your pair of aces all day everyday."

"Yes. Unless, of course, one of those aces happens to be..." I pause for dramatic effect. "The ace of clubs!"

The audience gasps and bursts into applause. The men drink to my health. The women throw their underwear at me. Overwhelmed by my awesomeness, a tall, blonde Russian chick slides under the table and gives me a blowjob.

"Donk!" screams the donk, furiously. "I had two pair! You had a runner runner flush draw! If I had turned my hand face up, you would never have shoved. You violated the Fundamental Theorem of Poker on the flop!"

"Yes, but I violated your ass on the river."

The moment passes. I am back in my study, watching the chips slide to me on my monitor. The only witnesses to my triumph are my dog and my cat.

"Meow?" says the cat.

"Yes, my furry friends. Let the donks beware, for MY LUCK HAS RETURNED!!!!"

Now running at 12PTBB/100 over the last 1,200 hands. Hopefully it'll get even better.

0 votes

Comments (5)

I am dealt KcKh and immediately think "fuck, I'm going to lose." I can't remember the last time I took KK or AA to showdown and won.

The flop comes 7sTc9s. I bet. Villain min raises. I panic and start seeing straights, sets and two pairs. I click frantically on MSN and ask Senppu for help.

The Storyteller says
Sennpu, Sennpu, I got dealt KK board is 7T9 2 toned I bet villain min raises what do I do?

No answer. Several seconds later

The Storyteller says
Sennpu, Sennpu, I got dealt KK board is 7T9 2 toned I bet villain min raises I only have 15 seconds left to act what do I do?

Sennpu says
request time

Oh. I request time and the seconds go by but no further words of wisdom come because it's 7am where he is and he's trying to jam contact lenses into his eyes. With 15 seconds to go, I shove. Words appear on my MSN.

Sennpu says
call

Shit! I just shoved! Villain calls my shove and I start to pray.

Father in heaven, hallowed by thy name, if you let me beat this bastard, this retard...

The turn is Jc. It must be a straight or a set of jacks... I pray harder.

... this inbred fool, probably the result of an incestuous union between his mother and the family dog...

The river is 4d.

... this defiler of goats, this licker of fishes' anuses, I will...

Villain flips over QQ.

YAY I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN!

I am Bravestar with the strength of the fucking bear. I am Rick Salomon with Paris Hilton in one hand and a video camera in the other. I am Liono with my hand wrapped around the hilt of my ever-lengthening sword screaming for the "Thundercats' ho!" as Cheetarah hears me calling for her and comes real fast.

Thanks to that hand I am only half a buy in down after 400 hands this session. Damn, I'm running so hot.

0 votes

Comments (9)

Because I swear the guy's icon was a pic of Darth Vader.

Submitted by : thestoryteller

POKERSTARS GAME #16743682437: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($0.05/$0.10) - 2008/04/15 - 06:33:26 (ET)
Table 'Gellivara' 9-max Seat #5 is the button
Seat 1: Bababu ($1.60 in chips)
Seat 2: Mixseven ($12.20 in chips)
Seat 3: Lcpl 4 Life ($2.95 in chips)
Seat 4: Bouwmann ($9.90 in chips)
Seat 5: dnom333 ($9.85 in chips)
Seat 6: Karen668 ($10 in chips)
Seat 7: luckdw ($4.60 in chips)
Seat 8: jodel80 ($3.70 in chips)
Karen668 : posts small blind $0.05
luckdw: posts big blind $0.10
Feuchte15: sits out

Holecards(Odds)
Dealt to Karen668
jodel80: folds
Bababu: folds
Mixseven: calls $0.10
Lcpl 4 Life: folds
Bouwmann: folds
dnom333: calls $0.10
Karen668 : raises $0.70 to $0.80
luckdw: folds
Mixseven: calls $0.70
jodel80 leaves the table
dnom333: folds

Flop(Odds) (Pot : $1.80)

   
Karen668 : bets $1.75
hsvaus79 joins the table at seat #8
Mixseven: calls $1.75

Turn(Odds) (Pot : $5.30)

   
Karen668 : bets $5
Mixseven: raises $4.65 to $9.65 and is all-in
Karen668 : calls $2.45 and is all-in

River (Pot : $20.20)

   

Showdown
Karen668 : shows (a pair of Kings)
Mixseven: shows (two pair, Fives and Threes)
Mixseven collected $19.25 from pot

Summary
Total pot $20.20 | Rake $0.95
Board  
Seat 1: Bababu folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: Mixseven showed and won ($19.25) with two pair, Fives and Threes
Seat 3: Lcpl 4 Life folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: Bouwmann folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: dnom333 (button) folded before Flop
Seat 6: Karen668 (small blind) showed and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 7: luckdw (big blind) folded before Flop
Seat 8: jodel80 folded before Flop (didn't bet)

0 votes