Jeff

a high school girlfriend's dad was a computer programmer and when she was young he gave her a problem to solve. she never solved it, but she'd asked me my freshman year of college and i couldn't solve it... then yesterday it popped back into my head because i had an intuition about what the problem represented, yet even with some more math training i still haven't been able to make the connection and solve the problem!

so anyway the problem is simple:

there are two bugs... the first bug is crawling a long the x-axis and the second bug is crawling along the y-axis. the first bug starts at the origin and heads toward 1 on the x-axis. the second bug starts a 1 on the y-axis and heads toward the origin. the two bugs have a line between them and are moving at the same speed. what is the equation that describes the curve outlined by the series of lines drawn by the bugs.

so pretty much you've got f(x,y) = (x, 1-x) for your intercepts and the lines connecting the intercepts are tangent to a curve. the question is what is the equation of the curve?

presumably if i had any idea how to describe the sequence of lines i'd just integrate and know my answer but i'm instantly defeated. this is probably a ridiculously easy question because a guy at the local high school solved it instantly but i didn't know the guy and the girl who asked him on my behalf was a friend of a friend and the answer was never relayed to me

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Comments (19)

STOP LOSING, YOU RETARDED FISH. R O F L

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Poker has not been going well!

I've been playing poker seriously for about a month. I used to play a bit on and off and had the advantage of some free knowledge from Myth when he was still a NL100/200 player. Beyond that I also had/have the advantages of some good starcraft friends on this site who play poker. I don't ask for a lot of advice these days because I've been able to improve my understanding and my play quite a bit by just examining my thought processes and my previous hands.

I've been playing NL25 and put in a good number of hands - maybe 100k between some sessions 4 tabling and others mass multitabling. My first week was unsuccessful - I hit a heater when I started, and then expected it to continue so I tilted away the winnings. I hovered around my initial $400 deposit for the 2nd week as I was on a bit of a bad run and still had quite a few leaks. On my third week I'd rid myself of many tiltish tendencies and ran fairly well on the final Sunday, bringing my BR up to $1k. I was rolled for NL50, but decided not to move up.

My computer was having some trouble with FTP so I decided to wait until I built a new computer to move up to NL50. I didn't like the idea of autochecking/mucking NL50 hands on account of my software freezing. So while I was waiting for new parts, I continued to play NL25, feeling that I had a significant edge. My plan was to continue to build a roll so that when I finished building a new computer, I could start NL50 with a healthy buffer in case I couldn't beat the game or ran badly.

I've done just the opposite. Over a fairly health sample, about 25k hands, I've lost ~14 BI from my peak winnings and I'm quite shaken that I've consistently lost over such a large sample. I'm not entirely confident in my play yet and I do alternate between a nitter style and a looser style, depending on my number of tables and level of concentration, but I'm not sure that alternating pf preferences is any explanation for this depressing last week and a half.

In any case, a lot of players say (and I agree) that you can beat NL25 playing as nittily as 12/10 or more loosely such as 25/20. When I examine my game, I feel like I've adapted to the full tilt NL25 game from my original practice at the stars NL25 game and that I'm better than I was when I started. When I reflect on my own ideas of my abilities and comments by Myth, Baal and others in edge vs expectation arguments I am really concerned that my losses over these last 25k hands mean that I am totally missing something

Ugh, I feel like I should be capable of posting a moderate, consistent winrate such as 2-3PTBB/100 at NL25 because I don't tend to tilt too often and as far as I can tell my abc poker is acceptable... But with my recent results totally contradicting my confidence I'm quite confused.

Anyway I'm determined to improve my poker game and thanks to my efforts on FTP, I'm able to purchase the cardrunners subscription, so hopefully this will help me improve. Speaking of which, I have no idea how I'll receive the subscription from FTP since their email confirmation suggested I'd receive a package by mail, but that would a really awkward way to ship an onilne subscription, and it would take forever.

Prob gonna get back to playing a bit more today. I've taken a couple day break, logging less than a thousand hands yesterday and none the two days before. Both yesterday and today I've managed to lose a little more than a BI and log off. Here's hoping tonight will go a bit better.

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Comments (5)

I have experienced the infamous doomswitch and trembled under its awesome power. I acknowledge my helplessness. Please relent.

Thanks,
Sincerely,
Depressedly,
Jeff

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I'm at Quizno's. I've just received my sandwich, and I'm walking outside to grab a table. I hadn't noticed when I came in, but as I step out the door I see that the tables outside don't have chairs - not to mention that it's ridiculously humid. So I walk back inside with my sandwich in my left hand and pull out the chair with my right. As I sit down in the chair it instantly gives way and attempts to throw me unceremoniously to the floor. I instantly throw my right hand down in order to save myself from being sandwiched lol!!! by my sandwich. My acrobatic display rescues both myself and the sandwich, and I'm looking down staring at the chair when suddenly my hand erupts into the strangest pain ever.

As I'm rotating my hand to look at it, I'm replaying the memory of catching myself. I remember feeling the cool ceramic tile on the tips of my fingers, but the sensation in my palm is something different. That's when I remember that I just had carpal tunnel surgery, and there's a massive slit it my hand (masturbation joke or something), but no really there's a two inch long incision down my palm, and I'm turning my hand over just waiting to see it torn open and blood gushing. Anyway when I finish turning my hand toward my face, I see that it is not in fact torn open or gushing blood, but the stitches have torqued the skin in a pretty sick way.

The manager is asking me "are you ok?" and I'm replying with "yeah, but I just had surgery on my hand." All the while the pain in my hand is getting worse and worse. After a couple seconds I start to wonder when it's going to chill out, but it continues to get worse. So I'm sitting staring at my sandwich staring at my two friends who are at a total loss of words as they realize what happened. The Quizno's manager is giving me this vacant stare that says he's not processing how hand surgery and catching my entire upper body weight on the incision could possibly be problematic.

I'm of course not at all hungry, and am just staring at my sandwich, which - I notice - is oozing with way too much mayonnaise [wtf weird word (WWW, anyone find that suspicious?)] and it's been sloppily constructed. Meanwhile I'm staring at the palm of my hand. It hasn't suffered any obvious damage, so I'm just expectantly staring, waiting for the numbing pain to subside. So, anyway, the bad beat.

I'm sitting here staring at my hand when the door opens and a cute blond girl steps in, smiling at me. I guess she's mistaken my charming "FML" grimace for a charming grin, but anyway our eyes meet and then she orders her sandwich, still staring at me. I don't know what it is with girls and perfectly timed "smiles" but once that moment occurs they're determined to meet you, even if after that moment you're acting like a lobotomy patient staring at your hand and wondering when the ridiculously exaggerated pain is going to subside.

I take a bite of my sandwich, holding it in my clumsy left hand. Lettuce and tomatoes fall out, and I curse Quizno's for their poor craftsmanship. Somehow the sandwich manages to taste disgusting, so I give it up as a bad venture and walk over to the cashier. For insurance, I decide to file a complaint with the manager in case their broken chair perma-fucked my nerve. At least if my hand is going to be permanently numb, then masturbation will be more fun, and now I'll be able to take advantage of the United States' bad beat jackpot: the trial lawyer. I smile at the fanciful idea of making a few million off a broken chair and a numb hand, and remind myself to make the best of the situation. I assure the manager that whatever I decide to do, the blame will fall on Quizno's ownership and not him. I don't really have any intention of taking advantage of this, but the girl is finding the exchange amusing or something, and keeps trying to assert herself. So I ignore her.

Eventually I talk to her, and after a short converation she gives me her number. I had my Beijing opera penguin t-shirt on, so it was pretty much a lock from the start, but I guess her being a freshman was probably an assist. Unfortunately, when I think of her, my only association is with the mind-numbing pain shooting through my palm during the conversation and when I first saw her come in.

Actually the negative association with this girl isn't the worst beat. As I'm leaving the parking lot, I'm tilting verging on insane. The exchange with the girl hasn't really cheered me up. I suck at parallel parking situations, and I've been in China for two months. Asians are bad influences in this regard. So I pull halfway out of the parking spot after a quick glance at the mirror. Of course I have no space. So I tilt more, and reverse. I have enough space to exit the space now, so I do. As I'm half way out, my friend in the backseat says "stop." I stop. I hear tires squealing. I wish I'd just kept going. After what seems like an eternally long tire squeal, I see a truck do a 180. I'm vaguely surprised that he can still fishtail so hard after his brakes have been screeching for eternity. Anyway the back of his truck slams into the front quarter panel of my car. -$800.

My hand is still fucked up. There's no way I'll ever call the girl. And, I have to replace my car's quarter panel. Thank god Raszi posted that adorable hamster eating that piece of broccoli otherwise I'd probably be loading the gun now.

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Comments (9)

Skip this paragraph if you care to skip to the point of this blog and don't care about the random musings of a microstakes player:

After spending a good deal of time at NL25, I'm pretty much machine grinding up a roll while replaying curious hands in my head during the session. I guess the downside to this approach is that I'm forced to act pretty quickly in some uncomfortable spots and usually fuck them up. On the other hand, 4tabling is too horrendously boring, and one appeal of massive 12 tabling is that I get to see more questionable spots more rapidly - which in its own way is really improving my game. So I guess I'm paying a price for 12 table entertainment and education in my PTBB/100, but whatever. The cacophony of "your turn" beeps that gradually crescendos into "hurry up, asshole" beeps and finally into other players spamming "zzzzz zzzzz" like rabid bumblebees - it's all music to my ears.



Anyway the whole point of this blog is to find out how you LP.nettians like to insult your opponents in the notes section while idling between hands. Currently I don't have many, but some of my favorites are:

-(DIE) liquid poker clown (for fellow LP.nettians). I forget the reference for this one.
- retard trappily. -Some comment by Rekrul
- DONATION STATION. -Myth in microstakes; gotta write this one in caps since that's how I like to imagine myth saying it.

I also like to turn players names into "RETARD" by replacing letters. I'm willing to replace up to 6, but I feel more clever if I can do it with less

Contributions appreciated

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Comments (9)

I've been playing a bit of NL25 on Stars, attempting to relearn poker. I was idly looking through my stats, trying to plug leaks and revise my play in certain spots when I noticed that my rake was $924.16 for 38547 (according to HEM). I quickly crunched the numbers and according to this figure I've been raked for like 4.5PTBB/100 by Stars. Is there someway that I might be misinterpretting this statistic. If I'm not mistaken, how do microstakes players and former microstakes players suggest improving vs Rake play?

I suppose I'm relatively close to just moving up to NL50, so perhaps as I get away from the microstakes, the rake ratio improves? Is it worth moving to a site like FTP that offers substantial rakeback? Pretty much how to I fight the tyranny and oppression?

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Comments (9)

Some of your probably know me as Failsafe from starcraft. I'm semi-new to lp.net and to poker. I’ve stalked around the forums a bit out of curiosity but I haven’t felt that I was a strong enough poker player to really contribute useful advice. Now that I’m damned to be back in the USA for at least 9 months without any real prospect of leaving, I’ve got nothing to entertain me. So, I’ve decided to adopt poker as serious hobby.

All that said, this seems like a great poker community, and of course it’s very interesting to watch ex-starcraft players continue with their lives. I’m throwing up the blog here to attract some attention and hopefully to entertain a bit. I know that without pictures this will go totally unnoticed, so here's a picture of me imitating the asian smile, as well as some pictures of China where I've been studying a bit of Mandarin.

Me, imitating the asian smile and drinking a remarkably sexy (albeit it girly) beverage.





Kunming, China, the city where I studied, and capital of Yunnan Province. As some of you know there was a bus bombing here a month ago. The actual bombing took place on my route to school, and even at the exact time that I would have been travelling. By a huge stroke of running good I happened to have rescheduled my class for an hour later so all I saw was the fallout. 2 were killed and 19 others were injured, however





Really great Chinese advertising with special english translation.





So I'm back from China, and America is horrible. Auburn, America is boring; the people are boring; the nightlife is boring; my school is boring; food is boring. Where's my fucking MSG? If China taught me anything, it was that real food numbs your mouth at the first bite.



Anyway, so far so good as poker goes. I started playing about a week ago, and aside from a massive tilt episode where I spewed off all my winnings, I feel that I've become a significantly better microstakes grinder. Back in China, I was contemplating poker as an analogy for life while I was high on ecstamethasy and reading high stakes forum threads when I had some (surprisingly) empirically fruitful insights.


My poker level is somewhere around better than NL25 but without sufficient nit-resistance or nit-bashing to really beat NL50 with a satisfying winrate.

Also, hello to crownroyal, vegable, k2o4 and other starcraft friends who might be reading this <3

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Haven't posted a blog before on this site. Granted it's pretty self-explanatory, but most things are - and it's never stopped me from fucking up in the past.

It's been a year or so since I last played BW. I'd intended to quit beforehand because I developed a ridiculously severe case of CTS (the nerve condition, not good poker play), and I didn't want to travel to the poorly organized WCG regionals. I was offered a last-minute opportunity to qualify online, but without any time to practice and with the CTS leveling my apm at like 180, down from 300, not to mention idra, artosis, skew, nyoken in my bracket, I just went out and got hammered the night before. I woke up late for the qualifier, got hammered by nyoken, hammered artosis, and was ultimately hammered a final time in the crucial match with idra. Anyway, I'm sMi.failsafe from starcraft.

I'm leaving for China tomorrow at 3 a.m. CST to study economics, the culture, and Mandarin Chinese. My flight leaves from ATL to LA or some Cali city, then from there to Ghuangzhou. From Ghuangzhou to Kunming. Hoping my million to one against crashing holds one time. I've been adjusting my sleep schedule hardcore, partially because, with the end of the semester, I finally can, and partially to mitigate jetlag. Quite tired as of now as a consequence of a lot of pool and drinking last night at my parents' house with my friends from high school, and from being awake a long time at a stretch.

So I'm testing this blog, and I've got a camera for the trip. I'll test it now as well so that I have a before and after China picture comparison. I plan to relentlessly grow my hair and beard while in China as I have no desire to pack a razor or shaver.





These pictures confirm my suspicions that my parents' cocaine addictions played hell with my genetics. Granted, I'm adopted, so it's all speculation, but the massive assymetry is pretty damning.

Once I return from China, I've got a surgery scheduled to repair my wrist. If all goes well I'll be able to play poker and starcraft again in about four months. Staritng to feel nauseated from lack of sleep and food, and I've gotta move fairly heavy stuff today, so good morning, and good night.

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