Does anyone else feel like their happiness is tied to their poker success? I'm pretty sure my happiness is based around any success in life, because that's all i strive for.
Also, i'm pretty sure im as close as someone can be to socially awkward and not be, everyone always loves me but I think it's because im drunk most of the time they are around and im a social animal drunk. I'm drunk right now and i love life. It makes me feel great when no reg will ever sit and play me shorthanded, it's like my only medicine when im losing. I've played 15k+ hands in the past 2-3 days and it's turning around but fuck, a few bad beats and I could be in shitsville again. My roommate couldn't find work and went to work in michigan and im all home alone. I've been with plenty of girls but the only one i ever cared about is coming to see me tomorrow and I hope i can convince her to stay with me.
I <3 lp I dunno where I would be without you guys, I'm buying everyone drinks in vegas next year so you better be there.
I started this month with 7.5k in my cake account which isn't all of the money I have, but it's all the money im going to dedicate to it. I have money saved away for dire straits and some money invested to get familiar with it and for fun but enough ranting. My account has 3k now.
what the fuck is going on, im not playing irrationally, i'm not playing out of my br and im putting in huge hours now that im concerned about my well being considering ive been way irresponsible with poker up until now and never put in good hours and always made good money.
I hate it when people do this and I think for the most part people exaggerate but I'm almost positive if I take the time to look in HEM and prove it ive won one race in the past 10k hands, my big hands always lose to implied odds hands like 77 or 67s in crucial spots where I can't really fold etc and I'm not getting any action on any of my good hands that I'm definitely getting.
I really dont want to move down to nl50 but I need to cashout the minimum im gonna need to pay my bills/buy groceries and I dunno if I can do all of that. The only good thing in all of this is that i can't handle losing and i'll play 200k hands if that's what it takes to continue but fuck i hate my life right now. I really just want to go to bed and fuck my bitch that I don't have but instead im sobering up from going to the water with my friends today to handle losing 500 more and im gonna play poker. Thank lee jones for rakeback, it's the only thing I'm playing for.
Life is depressing, all the answers i look for just make it worse.
I'm convinced im insane, I feel really close to figuring out what it is. I need to go back to having no conscious thinking and just impulsively living life before i drown.
also, I have a 1gig 30min nl200 vid i wanna share with LP and i figured out how to do a few others but 1gig is too big. I need to compress them or something, someone help me and reward everyone with videosssssssssssss
-$6600 profits
-35k hands
-Completely nl200 now, 1/3 of my hands this month were nl100 though
-Moved into my new house
-Didnt get laid
-Gained 6lbs somehow wtf, i literally eat nothing hardly and stuff. I need to quit drinking
I'm playing in the $250+18 monthly on cake, first is 50k, one time baby!
Long time no blog, what's up LP? I'm so baller i'm stealing my neighbor's wifi because the internet people aren't coming until monday to my new house. They were supposed to come yesterday. I've been completely moved in for a week as of today and I couldn't play poker at all for a while because i thought I had no wireless pickups i could connect to but after I built my new desk and set my laptop on it i found out that I can get a decent signal in this spot.
So unfortunately, I've been not grinding much at all and playing mostly drunk which prob isn't so genius considering i for the first time in my life played a stake higher than nl200 two days ago when a mega donator fish berated me and offered to play for 1k so i insta jumped on a 5/10 table with an obviously less than sufficient roll. I won like 250 off of him in about 10 hands then bluffed off most of the profit the next hand and he insta said OWNED and sat out and left LOL. I've honestly never ever done anything like that before and i feel really dirty about it and i deserve to be berated cause it's insanely stupid so i wanna put that here.
I can't really link up PT graphs because cake made an agreement recently with HEM and they changed the way they save hands so that they would function with HEM. HEM is supposedly coming out with an update any time and i guess i'll have to buy that but i tried the trial out and couldn't get it to work for some reason so i'll have to get their support to help me or something.
As far as results go im up like 5.2k this month in 30k hands including 1k in rakeback. About 1/3 of that is nl100 though so i dunno what my winrate is or my stats or anything which bothers me because i like to introspect myself in all aspects but I can tell just by playing that I have edge over 95% of the people @ nl200 so im obviously not worried.
I had a girl sleepover recently but she was way too drunk and i didnt get any action, need to break in the new house imo. Maybe shots at 2/4 i dunno how good those games are on cake but i'd assume they are beatable but at a smaller scale like 100 in comparison to 200. I feel semi dirty about it though and like i havent earned it because ive only played prob 40-50k hands @ nl200 so maybe i'll just stick around at nl200 til i have 20k. I know i won't do that because i love to move up and it makes me feel accomplished + you get better faster + you win money faster. So maybe shots on days i feel good.
I really promise im gonna get my video up soon, ive made at least 10 of them and they never work out right and are over 1gig or they are 1frame per second and altering stuff doesn't seem like it's helping anything and i dunno wtf my problem is but I promise im gonna get one up sometime.
now for the fun stuff, pics of my very undecorated room. + Show Spoiler +
So there is a guy i play with every day on cake who is 100% straightforward no range balancing etc. What he has is at all times 100% transparent to me.
Has someone ever calculated how deep i need to be to call with 54s or 56os or anything like that? It's insanely easy to figure with a set because you can only hit one hand that you want to continue with postflop. If someone can show me a site where they show the likelihood of flopping all of those types of hands I'll make a really good post with my results.
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