And yea, I know that sounds harsh and it's probably not true but I really got annoyed with people a few days ago. I have this "buddy" whom I've known for a very long time and been somewhat close too. He's never been the kind of guy I've trusted with important emotional shit really, but still someone I'd hung out with more then almost anyone else for a lot of years. I was ranting to him about how I considered one of the girls he knows a piece of crap for apparently having cheated on some guy and stated that I found it appalling how his other friend always made jokes about cheating on people in a way I considered more then a little bit offensive. I've got nothing against sexual promiscuously at all (fuck, my favourite book is "Stranger in a Strange Land"), and I don't mind people joking about pretty much anything unless the situation calls for some class, but cheating on people just plain sucks.
Instead of the usual nod and "yea yea, that sucks man" I assumed I'd get as a reply he says something about how her bf apparently wasn't used to being in relationships and didn't really put up enough of an effort in some areas and then he goes quiet. I decided to shut up since I did recognize that it was probably in poor taste to question someone's friend's moral character without knowing all the facts.
At a party for my buddy a few days later some girls are joking about how they all slept with him and someone makes a "funny remark" about how he's so weird and why did they sleep with him. One of them says that "yea well, back in blablabla I used to love him a little bit". I'm slightly intoxicated but something feels weird. Then it dawns on me that he had a long time gf at the time, so I joke right back about that. I still don't really know if I believe it but three people, two girls he's slept with and his own brother, stated more or less that he did cheat on this girl. I never really got to know her, and as far as I can remember I thought fairly poorly about her, but it still just sucks.
I guess I should just leave it alone, because I don't care enough about him to actually feel that it's super important that he knows when I don't approve of shit, and in a month or 6 weeks I won't spend as much time with him any more for various reasons I can't do much about. I've done a lot of less then honourable things. I once slept with a fat chick and jumped out of her window while she was sleeping. At one point I kept sleeping with some girl just because "she'll leave the country soon, so I don't have to worry about it". I'm fairly sure I hurt one girl, even though I for the life of me can not figure out how (she was from another country and I think it was a cultural thing). But as far as relationships goes I've never hurt someone other then by mistake. And during the sorts spans when I've been in relationships, I've never cheated.
But on the other hand there's a lot of beautiful things in the world. I guess I should focus on that.
prob in general a super boring read. wrote it half drunk. you have been warned. + Show Spoiler +
a few days ago one of my friends called me and asked if i wanted to go watch a magic game. i checked the schedule and it was against the 76ers but had nothing better to do so i said yes and picked him up. we scalped some shitty tickets for 10 bucks a piece after bargaining hard with this black guy. he tried to sell it to us for 100 at the beginning and we just laughed and left. they were nose bleed tickets worth like 5 dollars :<
i didn't know but my friend had a plan the entire time. so another random friend worked at the amway center and basically gave us CLUB access passes. it's basically like the 4th lvl but super exclusive. u can actually only get there through elevator. anyway we go and i am slightly giddy at this point and got to watch teh game there. there were these booths with food and alcohol and total luxury furniture and what not. i was impressed. a whole lvl of these booths. i asked how much these were and my friend told me it costs 30k to reserve it annually. there was one suite reserved for the orlando hospital here, specifically the surgeons. anyway there was also a bar which was cool, and had alot of really gorgeous people. me and my friend spent like 20 bucks here on drinks each and then the friend who got us in the club floor on the first place re upgraded and got us into a suite, where drinks were free. we just had to tip the bartenders. easily one of the best nights i had.
anyway the game kinda sucked as the magic under achieved for the 10000000000 time. also its amazing how much more detail and how many more things you can pick up on when watching live. anyway richardson shot a 3 and got fouled made a clutch free throw to help the magic get into overtime. we ended up winning and this was the first overtime win in the amway center. which once again was quite cool. 1/4 of the fans left too with liek 2 minutes remaining. but yeh. it was great.
i had a bunch of semi interesting conversation/thoughts about the magic/basketball in general. the 76ers are a retartedly athletic. no seriously. when you're able to watch a game live it is amazing at how much more detail you can pick up. it's like tehy have no system, no identity, no knowledge of basketball strategy. but it's like tehy are so god dman athletic. like they were just dominating every sport until college and thought "herm i could make a lot of money playing basketball and not have to get hit like i do in football."
dwight's such a bitch. i love him off the court and love his personality but god dammit he is easily my least favorite player on the team. he mentally checks out so often, easily gets frustrated (when the 76ers hard fouled him the entire game) and he just went on tilt. but he does this all the time. instead he bitches and complains and wants to learn to score more. i mean i understand scoring is flashy and u get attention for that. but jesus christ if he just worked on his defense, his natural strengths i would have been so much happier. u wanna work on offense? how bout you make 70% of your fucking free throwS? taht's fucking instant offense right there. and what a total different mindset man. these guys. these guys born as athletic monsters. total different mind set. so many of the professional athletes feel so entitled. and make ridiculous demands. coaches and gm's have to nearly beg their super stars to cooperate sometimes. jesus christ phil jackson deserves so much more credit to have been able to put up with kobe for this long. but seriously, stars like dwight and shaq can just say "oh i can never make more than 55-60% of my free throws w/e go live with it." but look at yao ming. i mean yea this isn't scientific or anything but that guy shoots close to 90%. i mean yea maybe he's "naturally" a better shooter, but to get to 90%? free throws? that's like pure practice and muscle memory. and a different attitude as well.
it's ironic i was making jokes with my friend about how it must be the worst ever to play on the phoenix suns. if you're a semi talented all star or a gifted rookie. like that team is going no where. grant hill and nash try so hard every game. what a facking guilt trip. seriously i don't know how the hell they do it, but it made me appreciate a guy like nash. a different lvl of professionalism. i hope the fans appreciate that kind of effort.
it also made me appreciate the spurs. good coaching staff. a good work ethic in every player. and every player is smart and understands that team work is the only way they can be competitive. but they are ripping through teams right now with taht kind of team work. (celtics too but go fuck them)
anyway this also made me appreciate kobe as well. a guy who took his game as high as he could. and didn't settle for anything less. reminds me of a guy like durant. who actually wants to be one of basketball's greatest. i suppose it's really refreshing. cause that whole 76ers team i swear to god. they are all made. and they couldn't give a shit (not that they should or that it's any of my business. every man should be able to lead his own life) but tehy couldn't care less about getting better. about elevating their game. they are all getting paid, and getting fucking laid every facking nihgt. so who the hell cares? also to foil durant, i'm just going to bring a name like tyreke evans. who is a sick player but that guy is just so talented and can do so much already (much like durant) but i doubt he will ever elevate his game and put in the hours of practice. he seems like a pretty scummy guy and is like free-rolling the rest of his life with the money he's making. (sorta like antoine walker that broke s.o.b)
thinking about all this retarded basketball stuff finally resonated with something inside of me. something about my own self. my current condition i guess.
i'm not really happy with where i am. i play poker and that provides me enough income to live but man am i coasting. like literally living day to day. i might not be the best player nor am i close, but i am or used to be a really competent one. last year i had over 150 hours put in after i put in all the due time where i had to learn poker, where i avged $70/hr but this year i can't seem to be making much at all. but the lvl of confidence is totally different. the mindset and confidence is absolutely shattered. i'm 2nd guessing every standard spot. but it's not even about the poker really. it's about how i'm not happy with where i am. i don't feel very accomplished and maybe if i was able to make more money with poker things would be different. i've made just over 20k lifetime and that my friend is truly pathetic for nearly 1.5 years of work if you're looking at it from a true monetary standpoint. i dont blame poker for any of my short commings. actually poker taught me alot of valuable lessons as well as skills. but i look at myself and i wonder how many other talentless grinders there are and how delusional we all are. i was a fool for trying to skip real life and trying to go through some short cut. but man poker is hard. or maybe im a retard. but i think it's hard.
but it's so tough to quit poker. especially if you were a winner at one point. and it's worse because i know i can just stop playing retarded and win money. instead of this retarded cycle of winning money and then trying hyper aggro moves that have little chance of success only successfully makes way for the cycle to repeat itself. really you can just nut peddle or something close to it and win money. or you can even short stack ffs. i wish it was more difficult. like it's like purgatory right now. i know i can make solid money playing poker atm. but i wish this weren't the case. i wish i could watch some of lp's studs like tt, fayth, nolan, loco, baal, hero play. not to even learn or get free coaching. but i want an ephiphany. an a-ha moment. where i think "yea i could never do that. yea i could never think like that. yea i would never have the balls to bluff or bluff catch there." so i could happily leave poker and never look back. but instead i have the notion that i can win (which i maintain).
poker was awesome it really was. provided me with like easily 1k pocket change every month through my last year and a half of college. got to eat out every day and buy rounds of drinks for all my friends. i'm probably going to buy my mom and dad something nice. maybe a set of 5k watches or something. because they worked so hard and have been living the grind for so long. so their pos son can have a decent chance at a better life. not even a decent chance they did everyhting where supposed to. so a great fucking chance really. except i had to mess things up by being an ungrateful little shit.
i'm not sure what i will do this year. i'm sure i will keep playing poker. but i'm definitely goign to look for further education though. get a retarded masters in business, finance, or management or something. poker part time was the facking nuts. i guess i just want to try and get a platform with a masters so i can move into a decent job market. i don't really have strong preferences so i don't really mind most jobs. but i do enjoy my leisure time. and i do want to make something of myself. even if it's mostly for my parents. cause they really do deserve better. all throughout my life thing's have never gone like WELL for me. like i mean to say i wasn't a very lucky guy. never got the girl i wanted. or the cool friends. or the winning raffle. and i've lived life pretty meekly and uninspiredley. the least i can do is make my parents happy though. they really deserve it. and i don't want it to sound like i feel some insurmountable pressure to please them. it's qutie a benevolent thought.
anyway not qutie sure what to make of everything. and am not going to proof read this so i will have no idea what image i put off either.
i imagine most will think i'm a luckbox with no more luck at the end of my poker career but at this point i don't really care. this site is truly a mix of a few respectable posters, a few moderate posters, and a bunch of retards (where i actually feel like i sorta belong but will try my best to move into the moderate poster group). i guess it's always tilting to get complete asinine and condescending hand comments sometimes. but i thought about it and wondered why i'm getting so upset. is there anything about them i want? or envy? are they winning? crushing their gameS? anyway don't take this last part the wrong way. it's just a small rant. i guess i deserve most of the comments anyway. as i'm bad at poker atm. but i suppose every poker player wants to be validated somewhat, somehow. although at this point i'm just gonna try and win the most amount of money and see if that works.
Haven't posted a blog in quite a long time... actually I haven't really commited to poker for a while now. The break was good though. Got to focus on school and whatnot. Anywho, all I played was NL25 FR and SH.
Back to back winning days at the micro MTT's. I can't be sure about this, but I would say these multi entry MTT's on FTP cut down on variance big time. Made my third final table in the last 2 days with another 5th or 6th place finish(can't remember) to go with a 5th and a 6th from yesterday.
Double guarantee weeks starts tomorrow so that should be good. I heard every tourny will be multi entry, although that may have been a joke/rumor.
I was down to 60 chips in the 1000FTP black card Satty to 750k with K7 in the big blind and ended up winning a seat. That was pretty sick. These satties are so deceiving, I was in 11th out of 40 with the top 36 getting a seat, and thought I could easily fold my way to a seat. It ended up working but I was 35th out of 36 when the tourny ended. This may have just been due to the fact that some guy went all in every hand with like 200BB when everyone else had 2-6 BB.
Not sure if they changed this or it only applies to the blackcard sattelites or something. I have to play in the 750k? I can't sell it for tourny dollars. Ive won a bunch of these and was never given a ticket, I was always automatically registered, and then I could unregister for T$.
Thanks for reading, let me know if this post was boring and what I could do to make it better.
I have a friend that is getting into poker. He already deposited without talking to me so he just has a deposit bonus and no rb. What effective rb % is he getting right now (with just the bonus)? Just curious as to how much he's potentially missing out on.
Does anybody know what % affiliates actually receive? I think it's somewhere around 33% but it could be a little/much higher. All I know is I'm only getting the flat 27% and feel unsatisfied about it (but am pretty much committed due to 12+ Iron Man months).
I heard that he can apply for cashback from FTP so I had him send an email asking, but any information about other options would be good too.
Ladies and gentlemen! Update: vpps are at 169K...pace is 220K...still 50K behind. Here is the current situation: To win prop bet, I have to get 14,555 vpps per day everyday from here till end of the month.
That will take 13-14 hours a day. Still possible, but it's gonna be very, very hard. Made ~1.6K yesterday, total profit at tables for the year is ridic and chilling at +$500.
That's it! Gotta run and get this started. Happy Sunday!
Poopy
Need a roommate in Atlantaby ChrisKim47, January 23
Was looking at a 2 br apt, at howell mill/collier intersection (exit 250). Going for 500 per person and trying to move in March-April. Just thought I'd see if a poker player was interested.
Didn't get much volume in. Combination of busy, ran bad so didn't feel motivated, and getting back into Black Ops all factored into that. Don't feel like I played bad really, I need to not ever play the On Demand Rush tourneys ever again, not nearly as profitable as the 90 mans and yeah, I just spew.
34 played
down 128
ABI was over 10 this time, which is nice to see that I'm able to play these without a terrible doomswitch.
Actually, I'm running at about 30 percent ROI in just 13 dollar 90 mans. Small sample but still, I'm not noticing a big increase in good play, just a few people that I see alot more often. So yeah, its w/e.
I've been working on some of the math for like 3betting ranges with my friends, feel like its really going to help my game out.
Meh, back on the grind I suppose, I hope to put in more volume tomorrow than I did all last week, sooooo run good me...
Ok now I think I'm doing it wrongby whamm!, January 22
very sick coolers just as im starting to get comfortable playing again.
money's getting to me since my diminishing life roll is getting coolered left and right as well.
cant play on a stake since ive lost two stakes given to me last time.
cant risk any more uploads (refer to 2nd sentence)
ditched website plans for now, learned new stuff that can buy me a pair of shoes at best
wasted time taking a break just chilling, zero income for 4 months, past mediocre poker game is now below par and close to vinniepooh status
i got more kids, less money, no skill less time (im 38 atm)
Really going to try not to open any 1/2 tables until Feb 1. Getting too old to keep dumping all my income running bad and getting tilted and demotivated and shit.
I've been playing 25nl rush poker for the last 6 days or and with rakeback I'm up like 2 BI. The good news is I have black card status now, the bad news is that I didn't make much money. I've decided to go back to MTT's once and for all. My plan was always to go back to MTT's after I grinded up my BR a bit with cash games, but I've decided its easier to make money at micro MTT's than it is at micro cash games.
I also installed the 30 day trial of table ninja and it is amazing. I went from playing 8 tables max to playing 12-16 tables routinely now. I've also played a bunch of multi entry tournaments today and they are a great addition by FTP. Heres my results for today. I'm going to post results daily if possible, weekly if I get lazy.
Hello everybody. It has been awhile since I put up a serious blog post, partially cause I've been embarrassed with my results. However, things are going in the right direction and I'm looking forward to future possibilities.
Full Tilt Progress
My primary focus this month was to put in a fairly large volume of full ring NL 10. My winrate is not a good as I would like it to be and I really felt like I tilted a lot of times and could have easily prevented some losses. Almost all of these hands are NL 10. However, I have recently started easing into NL 25 but playing most tables of NL 10 and adding a few NL 25 tables with it in order to be comfortable, prevent massive tilt, and try to play the same for both stakes. Haven't put up a huge NL 25 sample yet but I will consistently do this mixing until I feel comfortable enough to completely make the switch. Results so far this month. http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz...eddar/rushforjanuary.png?t=1295747304
discovering HU
Got some inspiration from edzwoo on trying out HU. I've never tried it cause I don't have a roll to full stack $50. Edzwoo gave some examples of how HU winrate can be higher because it's 1v1 between you and a huge fish vs the huge fish at one big full ring table. Had like $25 on stars for tourneys and stuff and decided to degen it up and give this stuff a shot. Here's what happened. http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz.../shortstackdegening2.png?t=1295747588
Obviously running like god. So now when I'm bored from mass tabling on full tilt I just go hit and run some retards on stars.
Still got plenty of time this month to keep doing great and am looking forward to future progress in all areas of poker. Looking forward to making the complete transition from NL 10 to NL 25 on full tilt and building up a big enough roll to buy in for more at stars HU.
ok update yesterday we ended about +$2K...a nice lil turn around. 16 tabled only though bc my confidence was low after the first 2 days of prop bet and losing $7k. VPPs are at 158.5K...to get to 300K by end of Jan. 31st, we need ~14K per day...which is still gonna be about 12-13 hours a day everyday...
This is possible! Happy Saturday everyone, gl at the tables today! We will be live all day at http://www.justin.tv/pokerpoopy
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