Turning this into a training blogby RiKD, January 14
Who knows about title. I just wanted to share I slayed it in the gym tonight. Back workout to White Zombie and Pantera. I was a bit stronger than I thought I would be but I am far away from the 500+ rack pulls from the shin, and 120 lb DB Rows for 12 reps I used to crush. I am too nervous to try pull ups. I am scared I won't even be able to do 1 and I used to hang weight for reps. I am feeling good though. I have my creatine and protein coming in the mail. It really is all about consistency and discipline though. I can't get it all back in a day. It's fun though. It gives me something to do. Picks me up. I don't have to stress over Gemini taking forever to validate my account and my Trezor wallet not working. But, here I go off to coincap to check everything again....
It feels pretty good. I was just comfortable and relaxed in my bed all morning. I am not hungover. I didn't leave the house yesterday except for to buy pizza and then decided I would begrudgingly go to a detox and speak to some drunks and drug addicts. My sponsor called this morning and asked what my plan was. I have just really been into cryptocurrencies recently. I may also look to transfer to another restaurant. I was in an Uber and the driver worked at this French bistro which sounded awesome. It is owned by 2 Culinary Institute of America graduates and I love French cooking. Hell, I still consider driving Uber again.
I need to buy some cereal. It sucks when it is just one thing but the grocery store is less than 5 min. away.
One thing I wanted to mention was that I am tinkering around with Steemit. If anyone is on there let's follow each other. I think I am going to have to change my blogging style there for sure. If you haven't been able to tell I kind of just like typing away with whatever is on my mind on here where as there it seems everyone is obsessed about value. I don't know. The site said it was wise to just comment on stuff but I haven't really had any of the trending or hot topics pique my interest.
I don't want to snort cocaine or shoot heroine nowby RiKD, December 26
I am in an airport writing this blog and people watching. This place is packed. I don't want to snort cocaine or shoot heroine. I had a good time with my family. I could also duck out and read some Foucault or watch a Corey Anton video on YouTube. It was fun talking to my brother-in-law about cryptocurrencies. I heard the McAfree guy predicted bitcoin would be at $1,000,000 by 2020. I am definitely going to start tinkering around finding some alternative coins that I like.
All in all it was a pretty good trip though. Laid back for sure. I was in a onesie for a day and a half. That or sweatpants the whole trip. It was good seeing my family. It felt like I didn't talk to my brother all that much. I was mostly hanging out with my sisters. I stayed at my sister's because my sister-in-laws brother got drunk and threw a fit that he was not getting the room with the queen size bed so I just said whatevs and slept on my sister's couch. Dude is definitely a problem drinker having a hard time with life. There is a standing offer to go to AA meetings but after Roderick it is almost like what's the point. The point is having a worthwhile project of helping people and making friends. I have a desire not to drink and that is all I need for membership. Now, whether I will "belong" or not is another story.
My flight is delayed an hour so that is just one less hour of sleep I will get so far. We'll see. We will see. We will see is all I can say many times in life.
Women in yoga pants with pronounced buttocks. I can't help it if the eye is drawn to such objects.
I packed my damn headphones in the checked back. Fuck.
I don't know if there is anything I want to discuss. "Discipline and Punish" by Foucault but I am not really far enough into it. I changed my mind on it. The history of the modern soul is a pretty fascinating topic.
Sometimes I want to snort cocaine and do heroineby RiKD, December 22
I wrote a too long blog post last night and did not title it and clicked post and lost it. Probably for the better. I have a feeling this is some form of addiction, habit, routine. I appreciate the feedback. It feels like I am inching forward.
So, yesterday I worked close to close fueled by caffeine, anxiety, and adrenaline. I was speed making everything all day. In a way it was kind of fun. I enjoy cutting onions, peppers, mozzarella, et al. It is fun to see how fast I can go without cutting myself. I have a night's sleep under my belt now I don't feel as worried about what will happen when I am not there. We have been getting slammed recently most likely due to the holidays and I was barely keeping us afloat and I am not sure if the new guy can keep up. The restaurant may just run out of food too because the owner did not buy enough. I guess these are problems out of my control. I am going on vacation to visit family for a handful of days and would like to enjoy it. One thing about yesterday is I was all amped up thinking about ways I could incorporate speed into my day. Caffeine half life is too small and I don't like having to drink coffee or energy drinks all day. I was thinking of starting to do coke. Then I am in the bathroom every 30 min. lol. Adderall might be the play. I am trying to lose a bit of weight too so if I don't eat that is all the better.
Grimes - Visions is a good album.
So, we are cosmically insignificant. Cosmically nothing. So close to zero it might as well be zero but why does this music effect me so? Why does this Monet make my soul sing?
I feel a kinship to Basquiat. Frantically going from one thing to the other look for some opium to quell the demons. The negative structures of life. When my drinking was at its worst in Shittown, IN I was slightly psychotic for months. I covered my apartment in journals, poetry, philosophy, artwork, whatever. When my dad came out when I went into the psych ward he threw all of that away no questions. I still may have a resentment about that. It doesn't really matter. I really have yet to find my stride. Sometimes it feels like I am settling in many parts of my life. Sometimes I feel like I put too much pressure on myself to get something, to get somewhere. Is my job good enough for now or am I cheating myself by not getting something "better"? I am slowly meeting quality people. That is all I can really ask for. Things to think about.
I am really liking this Willow - F Q-C #8
Just grab your neighbor's hand and get comfortable. Just as long as I don't have to say a Lord's Prayer.
Sometimes I feel like a rat in a cage. Where is the Rat Fun Park? Paris, patios, and picnic tables. I met a student from Paris once and he said students get into the Luvre for free. He would go everyday. That is heaven. Not this stuff they talk about in the Lord's Prayer. I mean there is no evidence for anything as far as I know. I think it is a bit tougher to think about just dying and ceasing to exist. IMMORTALITY is what we all dream about. Would we even want that if it were possible? Does death add to life? I know I get more of a thrill out of driving really fast because I might crash and get injured or die.
In the land of Gods and Monsters,
I was an angel,
Looking to get fucked hard.
I love this woman. I just wanted to share those two but I am back listening to the Born to Die/Paradise deluxe album. I find I like Lust for Life as well. Have never got into Ultraviolence or Honeymoon as much. I may just be sleeping on those.
Finished the quick intro to Morin and am excitedly waiting for On Complexity in the mail. I don't know what I am doing next. I may finish The Communist Manifesto by Marx or start some Freud. I figure I should finish those 2 before getting to the Postmodernists. Then I will probably go Foucault, Derrida, Baudrillard. Or, I might just read Morin. There is also Tree of Knowledge just hanging out at the moment. I will of course turn to Money by Martin Amis when I want something a bit lighter.
I am a secular extrovert. I am not sure what secular has to do with becoming an unemployed recluse being bad for me. I definitely need people in my life though (extrovert).
I take myself too seriously sometimes. Sometimes it is good to be serious. Other times it is time to lighten up and laugh and smile. I need to recognize this in my day to day life.
I've really just got some time to kill before the meeting. Now I've written some stuff. I might as well click post and add on if I think of anything.
Today I get a day off. My circadian rhythm held true. I was up with the sun more or less and I feel pretty good. I have thrown on Zola Jesus and I am going to see where it takes me. Many times I think it is best to write with complete silence but who really cares right?
I don't like when new acquaintances tell me to pray. It has been almost a shocking revelation in some circles that I don't pray and it has become an annoyance in my life. At the core I go to AA because I have a desire not to drink. I suppose it is problematic that one of the steps is to carry the message of AA and another step is to pray and meditate. This just was not a problem in Pittsburgh but there is a different culture here probably influenced by being in the bible belt. I really don't want to get into arguments with these people. I just won't pray and share my perspective if they ask but otherwise it is water under the bridge except it is not because I am writing about it. I want things to be different when I should accept that prayer and in god we trust and god bless america are a part of where I am. I just need to find others that are more on the same page but also not give up on certain people just because they have decided to pray.
The fact that I don't put thyme in the Italian or the balsamic vinaigrette is going to chase me until I start putting it in I think. I woke up thinking about that this morning and was like "fuck." It may seem like a little thing but it itches at me at times. It makes work that little more stressful. I am also a bit stressed because we have another guy getting some hours in but he is not very good and I don't know if it will be enough but all I can really do is do my best. I think it is why the thyme thing bothers me because that is not my best and I know it. I should not be stressing over work on my days off but I suppose it is a natural thing from time to time.
This Zola Jesus is pretty good. I am on Veka and really digging it.
Speaking of Jesus one of my friends at work and I were having a discussion on my break. He is a young guy like 21 I think but he is a voracious reader and very inquisitive. We always have good conversations. To think a dishwasher and a prep cook at a chain restaurant having lucid conversation on Socrates and other topics. He cracked me up though. We were talking about dominance hierarchies and potentially being free from them and he basically said he was addicted to materialism:
"Man, if Jesus comes back you think he wouldn't take a spin in a lambo?"
I don't think he would but america's Jesus certainly would. He would be toting guns, eating big macs, and fucking big breasted blondes.
It's a shame though that these youth have that programming. That materialism is god. God bless materialism. God bless Capitalism. Got bless America. America. Such a ridiculous usage. What about South America? United States of America. Such a crock. They are not in the least bit united. I rather live in France or Denmark but I am here. Might as well make the best of it. I am alive might as well make the best of it. I was born to suffer and die. Great. Let's get on with it eh? This song "Half Life" is making my existence a bit better. Strings should really be included in more songs. People don't give orchestras and symphonies enough credit. That is probably truly the most beautiful music. There is nothing like a live orchestra performance in a good venue. I remember seeing a performance of Shostakovich and just having tears streaming down my face it was so powerful. Just driving around in my car getting lost in Bach.
I'll have to get into this Chelsea Wolfe. Just comes out all dark and heavy. I was like man this might be a bit too much for my relaxed Sunday morning but I am digging it. Loco, have you ever listened to Massive Attack? I feel like you might like their Mezzanine album.
My family does a Secret Santa thing where the siblings get each other 1 gift so we don't have to get like 10 gifts for everyone. My Secret Santa asked what I want and I couldn't even think of anything. I supposed I could use a hoody but I didn't really want to shop for one. I suppose I'll do some shopping now. No Gods No Masters:
I have to get ready for a super secret meeting of people in the restaurant industry. We'll see how that goes. I got invited to go to a party today but I don't think I will go. The guy who is hosting it did not even know my name. I don't want to show up and no zero people in someone's home. I think I am just a bit burnt out on AA people. I will go tonight to speak to people in a detox. That is always worthwhile. I am thinking about just talking about how much I didn't want to be in AA and still don't in a way but it is the best thing I found and I don't want to drink and my life is a lot better than it was and things are pretty good today. No telling what tomorrow brings but today is ok.
Days off are nice. Back to listening to music and writing stuff on LP.
Most importantly I want to say that Rick Roderick is on FIRE in this "Self under siege" series on youtube. We all should watch it.
Next I want to post what Spotify says was my most played songs in 2017. Hopefully, others also got this feature and it might be some fun.
1.) VIVID DREAMS - KAYTRANADA
2.) No - Nicolas Jaar
3.) BULLETS - KAYTRANADA
4.) HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lamar
5.) Time for Us - Nicolas Jaar
6.) 15 Step - Radiohead
7.) LEAVE ME ALONE - KAYTRANADA
8.) Odessa - Caribou
9.) Optimistic - Radiohead
10.) ELEMENT. - Kendrick Lamar
11.) Sun - Caribou
12.) Everything In Its Right Place - Radiohead
13.) Nights - Frank Ocean
14.) Bodysnatchers - Radiohead
15.) Midnight Marauders Tour Guide - A Tribe Called Quest
16.) Pink + White - Frank Ocean
17.) Migration - Bonobo
18.) The Tourist - Radiohead
19.) Song for Isabelle - Stimming
20.) You May Die (Intro) - Outkast - ATLiens
A lot of first songs on albums or I always played KAYTRANADAS album on loop starting at VIVID DREAMS. I was crazy on that for a while.
I would be interested to see others. Always, like finding new music. You know I never listened to Mumford and Sons before a week ago? Crazy.
Life is pretty good. I don't have anything I want to complain about. Just watch Self Under Siege and post Spotify top 20 2017! Enjoy the Holidays!
Got torn a new asshole when I moved up lol. Seems like believing in your own bullshit can fuck with you and it's a bad habit of mine. ATH is within striking distance and getting more consistent and less swingy results now. Developed a drip-style of moving up instead of just doubling the bet amounts. My first month results were mostly clicking buttons with very little research on teams and how they've behaved (integrity wise) Playing stand-ins, online vs lan tourney, forum swaying by shills and past history play a great role in determining the best decision when betting these games. No guarantees of course, but you tilt less knowing you could have not done it any better.
December will probaly be less streaky but also less stressful. I hope there's a reason why my BR hasn't been wiped out clean yet lol.
So a few years back I got diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I started cooking some self-treatment solutions this year. Surprisingly, thing have turned around and I'm doing alright. I'd like to move to California, Colorado, or one of the States where weed is legal, but so far haven't had the chance.
Money is kind of tight at the moment because I was part of a major doctoral program that closed (Emory University), and was unable to get my master's despite having a 4.0 (because I was unable to complete the thesis for the degree).
Ultimately I got suspended from the university where I completed my undergraduate because of problems related to schizophrenia and evicted from my apartment in Auburn, Alabama. I could never really get schizophrenia under control. I got addicted to ayahuasca and Kung Fu--and that's how I got evicted. I was screaming at night in the parking lot and kicking all the trees.
You can see you can make around 30lbs. of Ayahuasca for about $2,000 if you buy in bulk online. One of the best sites is Mr. Botanical--I guess the ability to get DMT is pretty commonplace these days, but I only discovered it not too long ago. I think I went through about 1kg of Ayahuasca myself in the past year. Definitely this is the best legal solution if you're an enterprising martial artist.
Anyway, "drugs" and so on aside (stuff we usually associate with legality obstacles)--I ended up moving to Atlanta, Georgia where I'm working on some programming projects and writing Philosophy. It would be a lot more straight-forward if I were more accredited, and so the futures projections aren't great at the moment. I ended up selling a First-Edition Charizard a couple days ago for around $4,000. Unfortunately I was unable to get the card delivered because (surprisingly) UPS doesn't deliver to post office boxes. I'm having to get the card re-routed to me on Monday.
It was an aggravating experience from start-to-finish. UPS doesn't deliver to post office boxes, and won't deliver to a post office either: This because USPS and UPS are different companies. International customer service can't re-route transactions, either and so ultimately I have to make an extra trip to a local UPS store to get the original shipment sent back.
I bought some insurance on the shipment so I hope the card is returned in good condition. I'm headed to the local Zen center to see how it is while I wait on all this shipment-related questions to be resolved.
So bitcoin is going nuts, it broke 10k today!!!! I am actually a part of history as I have purchased 1 BTC at 10001 as the wall broke. Sold it a bit later for tiny profit. Didnt expect it to go much higher before a pullback.
BUT SHIT, MAINSTREAM IS REALLY GETTING INTO BITCOIN. ITS FUCKING NUTS.
All my friends are asking me about bitcoin, all of them asking how to invest, all of them suddenly talking about bitcoin. My mom is advising me which ones I should Buy. When just few months ago nobody talked about it. I was the only nutzo.
It is on the front of biggest newspapers, its on CNBC, its on Sydney Morning Herald.
Big money is coming in RIGHT NOW. It seems the financials have finally decided to make money off it. And they want to make ETF's, Index Funds, Hedge funds, investment firms, and they are all buying Bitcoins and other main cyptos in order to create these funds. Russia said they want to introduce the Cypto Ruble. Hahahaha
FUUUUUCKing price is going nuts. It was all time highs for BTC, ETH, LTC, DASH, ETC, MONERO. AND OTHERS
So what this all means is that the prices are going to go through the roof. the BIG BOYS are moving in. Not that the price hasn't already gone nuts this whole year. WTF BTC alone is like 10x this year. And going higher. other Alts went up even more.
Poll: Which side are you on?
(Vote): Bitcoin Core, I Love Blockstream especially bcos they are sponsored by Status Quo Bankers
(Vote): Another Altcoin
(Vote): I have my Own opinion
Contact Users: 295 Active, 0 Logged in - Time: 06:25
