I have this weird thing where I think I can't do much of anything for an hour after eating food. No showers, no laying down in bed... That might be it really but I like to read lying down in bed.
PORNOGRAPHY
So, since I can't do something great like read I do something to fill in the gaps like go to LP or pornography. I don't know what I am doing just sitting there enjoying the show. It all looks to be the same after a while. Until I got to Kendra Sunderland. I think I like really large breasts in pornography for the viewership but it doesn't really make much of a difference for me in real life (not true OBV!). I dated this woman who had virtually no breasts. She had great eyes and great conversation. That is a pretty great combination. I am staring at these beautiful eyes have meaningful conversation one can just get lost in it all. She didn't need breasts.
Anyways, I really should be asking myself if this is how I want to spend my day off?
Watching pornography and writing bullshit. I went and risked a handjob in the bathroom for ole Kendra Sunderland. When I was done it hit me... Oh shit, how will I get out? It was kind of a fun handjob. That may not be said for most. I think I am building up a pretty solid pornography addiction (again?). Nah, it's not really causing problems yet. It is just not really something I should be spending much time on. Probably, similar to this blog, my entire blog catalog, this website. Laugh out loud.
I was talking to my therapist today and she thinks I should just continue focusing on getting a social circle out here. See how that goes. See if I like it. Don't worry so much about getting a new job and moving out and getting an apartment. I feel pretty content right now. I am not ashamed of living with my parents. It is fun meeting new people and getting to know people better.
I started reading "Tree of Knowledge" by Maturana. We should all read it and get a discussion going so it will be more fun. Otherwise, I think Martin Amis "Money" is going to beat it out for reading preference. Loco says "Tree of Knowledge" can be a life changing book. I liked the first chapter. Maybe I will go read that.
I think this is a rough one. Today has been a day where I just threw on some sweatpants and I am sweatpantsin' the day away. They are not even cool sweatpants. Just some ok sweatpants without the laces for the waist band because they took them out when I was in the psych ward those bastards. It's nice to not be in there though. It's nice to have my meds down pretty well. I want another wank to my girl Kendra. I could get it on my phone. That is better than reading of course....
A lot of my life is negotiating with the word enough. What is enough? I have trouble with enough.
I just float around the meetings helping people if I can and meeting people if I can. Sometimes I can help someone and time keeps on slipping into the future. We go out for burgers on Monday nights and that is a good time. I met a vegan today. It was funny how the guys are all trying to be masculine and talk about meat eating. She brought up that she is making a vegan sweet potato casserole with sweet potatoes from her mother's garden and I thought that sounded INCREDIBLE. All the other guys were ripping on it and saying it sounds gross. I don't have a crush on her but she is a pretty cool chick. That is the thing though we have a good 2 hours and time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the future. I watch some Bojack Horseman and become one and time keeps on slipping. Now, I get some words down and later maybe I read some "Money" by Martin Amis. All great ways to spend some time. Before I know it I will be back at the restaurant prepping food. Cutting 2 cases of mozzarella pays for about a third tank of gas. Making some meatballs pays for 2 weeks of Monday night dinners and fun. Cutting grape tomatoes pays for a week's worth of meeting donations. That is how I have to think about it. I really should be doing a better job of seeing what is out there. I am not better than what I am doing but there is better out there that I can be doing.
That really may be the best I get. Helping someone, dinner with friends, Bojack Horseman, "Money" by Martin Amis. I used to experience euphoria. It was so so fleeting. Maybe I get 20 speed and vodkas deep and catch the peak of a great joint and "Adagio for Strings" comes on at a massive Tiesto concert. Doing goood ecstasy for the first time at a bomb ass rave. Those are just some that come to mind. The high can last a while but then it's over. Life hangovers. At some point I am going to need a better job if... if... I need this because.... I need this or else.... What the fuck? What do we really need really?
Fight Night 37: Day of the Fightby NotSorry, November 19
Tried to do the responsible thing and get to sleep at a decent hour, big mistake. Ended up waking up at 3am unable to get back to sleep, logged in a few games of hextcg and played with the pups til around 8am. Headed out for our now traditional fight day family breakfast with Mother and Grandma. As per usual got me the steak and eggs, in honor of the greatest HW ever Fedor! No potato soup tho lol.
After breakfast hit up morning class Muay Thai to run some drills and get a good sweat in. Mostly focusing on sliding inside against wide punches with a combo ending in clinch and of course knees. Discussed our game plan of keeping a high tight guard and attacking the lead leg with heavy kicks while waiting for an opening to slide inside on the counter. Got the blessings and support of the team and headed home to rest.
Headed down to the casino for a rules meeting, medical checks and the other back stage stuff. Then it was off to upstairs staging grounds and a lot of waiting. We were originally the 4th fight of the night so didn't even bother warming up til after the face offs. After what seems like eternity, in reality a little of two hours, we wrap up and get checked out by the commission and signed off.
I've broken my wrists a lot over the years so in training I hold back a lot of power, but with a stiff wrap job it's like a scene from an anime as someone removes the seal on your power and you can feel it flow back into you waiting to be unleashed. HULK SMASH!
We get the call that it's time to line up and head down for the face offs. Due to miscommunication or some planning error we end up standing at the edge of the walk way for a good 20minutes, really fucked up for the guys in the first fight who were all warmed up and ready to go. Finally they give the signal and we pile into the cage. One by one they call out the matches and the fighters take center of the ring and square off. I hear my name and step up and get met half way to the center by my opponent screaming in my face, he had his mouth guard in and was speaking so fast, I couldn't understand at all what he was saying so I started to laugh at him and asked him to repeat himself several times as he tried to act hardcore. The rest of the face offs were rather civil. The first fighters stayed behind as the rest of us headed back to the staging area.
Shortly after getting to the back we are informed that our fight has been moved up to the 3rd slot. Barely after time to get my gloves on and signed off as the first fight ended in I believe under 1 min. We get maybe 2mins of warm up on pads and get called to line up. 2nd fight lasted just over 2mins and we were up. He was the first to be called down, then my music hits.
As always for more updates and pictures of my puppies you can follow me at:
'In life, if you don't wanna get caught by sharks, you gotta be a shark yourself.'
The quote from one of the greatest pictures in the history of Polish film seems to perfectly fit the situation in the world of poker. A tiny slump is enough for the opponents to sense that your game is way worse than what you're capable of when you're totally in shape. The beginning of October was not very good for me, I had a rough time with making myself actually play, and even when that happened, the quality of my performance was definitely not up-to-par. Over the course of my career, however, I got used to the fact that it's almost impossible to eliminate the periods of lower productivity.
I must say, though, the return to the adequate form after the U.S. escapade was much faster than I expected, it was smoother than the aftermath of my trip to Asia. All in all, in Vegas I was working with chips a bit, so the poker break was much shorter.
I finally started to regularly work on the game 'beyond the tables'. It's easy to become self-complacent and ignore this element of your poker career if you're getting good results. For years, I was somehow getting away with laziness when it comes to education, so it was hard to sacrifice some time for learning. But there's always some room for improvement and elevating your playing to the next level. In my case, the biggest place for growth is playing preflop, which I was neglecting for years, avoiding it, while working on leaks I was aware of. While I feel that postflop is much more intuitive, it's worth to spend a bit of time for preflop 'in da lab'. This is why I'm trying to develop optimal strategy, considering many factors: 3betting tendencies, tendencies of the players on blinds when I'm on BTN, range which I should open from CO, depending who's on my left, etc.
In this case, the added value is also this: the stronger my game is tactics-wise, the tougher my mindset gets. In 'The Mental Game of Poker' Jared Tandler said that tilt is very often the result of the insufficient theoretical knowledge, and it's very accurate in my case. Instead of beating your head against the wall, and getting irritated because the opponents adjust to your strategy, it's fundamental to work on the strategy which will be an answer to the gameplan of the rival.
Another big change in my game which appeared over the last few months is even bigger manipulation of sizings than ever before. Years ago when the reg population constantly betted 2/3p or even shove in 4b pots, I began to use microsizing, being completely convinced that it gives me way wider scope of movement in my range. There are spots in NLH when our FE is basically the same whether we bet 2/3p or 1/2p, and the differences in EV of the play, when we decrease our sizing, will be far more significant and will positively affect our overall winrate.
Some of you asked me about private coaching, once again thank you for the interest, I will try to put up an offer possibly in the beginning of the next year. I had really intense August and September, I needed to spend a lot of time, and even more energy, on the investment in real estate which I decided to do. At this moment pretty much everything's been taken care of, and it seems the peace of mind is back at my home. Moreover, I must decide which form of coaching I'd rather do, whether I should do hourly sessions or staking+coaching formula, however I'm inclined to insist on long-term cooperation, rather than couple of lessons only.
Last but not least, some pleasant photos, a chart from the last two months, almost 50k in post rakeback ev is a really fine score, unfortunately jerks cheated #polish_curse
The report from the trip to the Grand Canyon coming soon.
While training most the time you don't know who you'll be fighting next, so I've always pictured some Brock Lesnar looking motherfucking monster to push myself. The constant thought of them being bigger, stronger, faster than myself forcing me to be smarter and more technical in my approach. So far in my career, I've always been the smaller competitor, in boxing, in jiujitsu, and mma, I'm naturally a 185er, but I've always chose to fight at heavyweight. For the first time I'm going into this fight as the larger competitor against another guy who is probably a 185er in the current system.
This opponent has talked endless shit online, calling out pass and present teammates of mine, many of whom oddly enough helped train him for his last fight and I haven't replied at all, so I was looking forward to seeing if he would say something at the weigh-ins and as expected not a chance v_v kind of disappointing lol. I weighed in at 241 fully dressed in a sweater, room was freezing so wasn't gonna strip down and walk around for pictures, fuck that noise. Super uneventful weigh-ins and face off, then him and his team wanted to be all friendly and chat/joke around, I don't got time for that crap so my people and I just left to grab some food. Now back at home playing some League of Legends and Hex TCG relaxing.
As always for more updates and pictures of my puppies you can follow me at:
So, I think I am a little irritable right now. I am really only writing this because I have 40 min. until I can watch Curb Your Enthusiasm but I have some thoughts to unload so here we go:
Do we get to choose meaning or does meaning find us???
I can say hey there is a cute kitten that was in a horrible hoarding situation and needs a home. I don't really know if it will provide meaning. Maybe the meaning doesn't kick in until later. I am taking care of this kitten and it is getting better and we are bonding and I love it even more. Now, I am feeling some meaning. That my existence is not completely insignificant. I mean it is insignificant but at least on this Earth it does not feel that way. It is Sartre's idea that we are free and autonomous to choose the life that we want. Can we pick out our meanings? Are enough meaningful endeavors pretty much known at this point or is it completely individualistic in what will tickle the fancy?
I have been talking a lot about love songs and songs. I guess there is a song for everything but there certainly seems to be a lot of songs about love. There are certainly a lot of advertisements about getting the one. I have never really been magically in love with someone that loves me back so I really can't speak on it to be honest but these songs just seem to be capturing that which I can understand but that is not how the world works. That has got to be fleeting just like every other damn positive thing on this planet. I think this boils down to do I need to get laid? Will a partner make me "happier"? I don't even think I am in the business of searching for happiness anymore. There is some more fleeting bullshit. Give me some self-esteem, some peace, some contentment, I enjoy conversations, deadlifting, and fucking some prime piece of ass. Yup, that came out. Am I conditioned to crave that. It's a fucking drug and I am an addict. Fuck.
I titled this blog "Fuck you fucks" because I just thought it was funny. Has anyone told you to go fuck yourself today? Oh no? Go fuck yourself. I have a buddy that that is his thing. Whatever. I am writing shit down and fuck off you fucks.
Fight Night 37: One Week Outby NotSorry, November 11
Next Saturday, November the 18th, I will be stepping into the cage to fight Jessie Arter at Rogue Fight's "Fight Night 37" in WinRiver Casino Redding, Ca.
This has been a very different experience for me compared to prior fights. Aside from being out with injuries from the majority of the last two years, the coaching team of Carlos Zapata (BJJ) and Josh Hernandez (Muay Thai) that I've been with for over 8 years, split from the Gracie banner and each opened their own gyms focusing on their fields of martial arts. Which has lead to former fight teammates choosing to pick one or the other. In a sense dissolving the MMA team that has been by far the most dominant in the area for the last 10 years.
Resulting in rather large changes to my training schedule due to conflicting times and a 20-30min drive between the two. No more 3-4hours, 5-6nights a week of classes/sparring with 1-2hours of cardio on my own like I did for my last fight. Instead been on more of a 90m-2hours of solo cardio with 90m-2hours 7days a week of classes.
As always for more updates and pictures of my puppies you can follow me at:
I've noticed that PP has a thing against HUDS and data mining from their software.
I find my HH not viable for more then a single session (at one table) as the number of hands get scrambled from table to table.
I have player x with 885 hands on one table but 403 hands on the next one. Therefore I set my hud to only display hands from my current session and go from there.
I cant not utilize the opponent features as it imports the data as Player 1-9.
My question is, is there a way around this? Are Note Caddy notes viable on PP or is it the same as for hand stats?
I'm shaking the rust of my game after a few years off and I'm surprised by the size of the player pool at nl25 on Party, it doesn't seem very large compered to full-tilt back in the day where I rarely had the same names on multiple tables (let alone few days in a row)
*Spirit is not the best team per se but Tyloo is highly ranked but an Asian team from China with less experience vs White experienced teams, +1.5 didn't hurt
*Flash vs VP yesterday was super close, Flash lost but they took the game to VP harrd and might have learned a thing or two and do less 1-on-1 and make adjustments. Skillwise they belong to the global stage
*Both teams have won me money but Heroic just knows how to close and shut down rallying opponents when they're ahead, I'm not sure about Hellraisers but yeah this is closer. Even bet twice lol
*VP = enough said, Im a PashaBiceps fan, him and snax double AWP'ing is just great
*Bet on Muffin's opponents even if they seem to be a new team because i lost betting on these fools and they played super terrible
*Bet on Torque just for the odds and ratings.
This is all intuition-based and a bit of super-shallow analysis so I'm not claiming to be an expert just like to blog about my progress or failure hehe
cancelled out bet 2 with a bet on opposing team locking up a sure small profit for today regardless of freerolls results, hesitated and i dont wanna break my rule which is when in doubt, lighten :D
If you're a good player and wont take offense or attack me for my political views please add me on skype wobbly_au if you want to discuss hands with me.
I've been playing 400nl to 2knl on some chinese sites and would like someone or a group of people to bounce ideas off.
If you want to be a cunt or be arrogant then dont bother adding me.
For years, especially at the beginning of my venture into the world of poker, the trip to Las Vegas, Nevada and the participation in the World Series of Poker were the dreams which pushed me to becoming better and better. Even though I haven't been exactly following poker tournaments since forever, I used to count down days remaining to new episodes from WSOP.
On July 2 after packing my bag (for the first time in history of my intercontinental travels it did not contain the desktop, which made up 70% of the bag's weight), I flew to America, hoping that maybe this year I would fulfill my adolescent dream of getting a golden bracelet. I arrived at Las Vegas McCarran Airport at noon local time. After an hour-wait in a line, I was officially allowed into the land of Mickey Mouse. Less than half-an-hour taxi ride later, I reached my place of stay in the USA - an apartment in Palms Place.
On the second day after my arrival, I've already participated in an event no 63, that is no-limit Holdem 1k$. I entered the tournament with late registration, in the end of the 2nd level. I don't play mtt online, but if I were to compare the level to those taking place online, the starting phases are probably on par with those at 10$. For the first couple of hours, I was surrounded by the amateurs, the middle-aged Americans and happy-go-lucky poker-playing young people from France. Ultimately, I was eliminated in the middle of day 2, when 13bb TT did not quite hold against AKo. I was rewarded 2500$ for my overall performance, so the beginning was pretty promising.
Event 68, 3k$ No-limit Holdem, was another tournament I participated in. Once again I drew very easy table, e.g. for the first two stages I had an 'empty seat' at the table, but after some time the ghost-player was moved to different table.
I was expecting the level in a tournament at 3k$ to be much higher, however I couldn't be more wrong. In order to better illustrate it, let me present to you one of the hands.
CO - opens with minibet
BB (hero) - Q3cc, flats vs Co open
FLOP QT6ss, the villain pots, and hero cals
TURN 2x - the villain basically plays snap all-in. I called and he reveals K5hh... gg
I start the second day with 28bb. While I was riding the taxi to the casino, I was thinking what an unpleasant feeling it must be, to be eliminated several minutes into the tournament. Unfortunately, those thoughts turned out to be self-fulfilling prediction.
I dropped off in the 5th hand, following my squeeze/call with BTN having AQo. To this day, I'm not sure whether it was a correct play. However, straight after the tournament I was convinced that I fucked up - no sugar-coating, and I decided that this is the end to my adventure at WSOP.
It was time to commence the implementation of the second part of my plan - the sightseeing side-trips and the culinary-alcoholic feasts. The places for fulfilling the latter were Cosmopolitan Las Vegas and Forum Shops at Caesars. I must say that Las Vegas isn't called the Entertainment's Capital of the World for nothing. The multitude of attractions which can be seen in the city is mind-blowing. Placing exclusive shops, restaurants and casinos under one roof allows everyone to find something to their liking. During one of the evenings I had a chance to meet the Polish MTT crew, and once again I realized that Polish young people are cultured and sophisticated. A pretty risky start with oysters roasted in parmesan, was immediately followed by some stuff more familiar to Polish palate, that is grilled beef and vodka with Red Bull.
After my Polish genes got saturated with the right amount of alcohol, the next step was to rent a car and just hit the road (it did not happen on the same night, obviously).
The first stop was the Hoover Dam, on Nevada and Arizona border. The engineering wonder built in 1936, was erected over 5 years, and the cost in the current prices was around 700 million dollars. Two and a half million cubic meters of concrete, which epitomize the everlasting fight of man against the forces of nature. The Dam stands 224 meters tall, which means it's almost as high as the Palace of Culture and Science in Warsaw, and almost thrice as tall as the dam on Lake Solina.
Another place I wanted to visit was the Death Valley in California. The most extreme temperatures occur there, one of the least-hospitable places for any forms of life on Earth. On July 10, 1913 the highest temperature ever was noted there - 134 degrees! (thankfully that's in Fahrenheit, in Celsius that's 'only' 56.7). Amongst main attractions in Death Valley National Park is Badwater Basin, a salty lake situated 86 meters below the sea level. Walking around there can be compared to putting your face next to an opened oven with the convection option on. I've spent there maybe an hour, but I finally understood why the people die so quickly in the desert when they have no water. Nonetheless, it seems that these extreme conditions do not stand in a way of the ultra marathon participants, which takes place every year in mid July. It's a 217-kilometer-long route from Death Valley to Mount Whitney. The record was set by a Brazilian Valmir Nunes, who covered it in less than 23 hours in 2007.
I'm going to talk about my trip to the Grand Canyon in the following post.
After over two years of back to back to back injuries and heavy depression as a result, I'm finally making my return to the cage. Nov 18th at WinRiver Casino in Redding, Ca, If you're from the area come on down. For those further away I'll get the videos posted asap.
For more updates or to look back at my progress you can find more at:
Live nfl games where to watch?by Gsr_01_integ, October 22
I remember long ago when just in tv and shit was around but i think now its twitch?
I have the firestick and no reason for cable really cause i watch everything online or thru the firestick but i do miss my live sports for football...can anyone help with a link to watch some football every week?
Thanks for the help guys!!
I think I have seen in many places in many times of my life that we learn through experience and reflection. I went to the zoo today. I didn't want to go to the zoo. Why would I want to see a bunch of animals in captivity? It was an ok walk around. Most of the animals were just chilling. I think like sloths, koalas, and even lions were probably made for a zoo experience. Certainly any of the rescue animals that could not live in the wild belong there but then why the hell do they let them reproduce? I look at a rhino that is just about catatonic in there by himself and I think why? It was enjoyable to see the monkeys playing. They need some jiu jitsu though. Ground game was real weak. Then I go to the gorilla cages and it is depressing. That is when the feeling of captivity hits the hardest. They are large, dumb humans laying down in despair, sitting staring out the cage with faces of hopelessness.
Fast food and porn, fast food and porn, all i want is fast food and porn. Get me a burger and fries and a coke and some Tera Patrick. Some fried chicken and sweet tea and some Penny Flame. I think I'm through the worst of it after inhaling some Five Guys. There wasn't even really any pleasure. I was boarding a plane so not wise to have a wank and I just got an internet connection but am sharing a 2br place with 5 other people at the moment. I am not that addicted that I have to figure out a way. I used to just watch it for hours. Now, I am watching it like it is cinema looking for good shots, good dirty talk, etc. It's not much of a fruitful endeavor.
That whole life goes further as I enter into Big Box mania today. So much consumption. I just needed a costume for a costume party and I wanted it to be cool. There is a big party downtown and I want to be cool in the off chance a woman that wants to have sex sees my tribe and sees me and abides. I am going to be a pirate. Halloween was like one of the days that women especially like getting drunk and laid. It would have been so much easier to just drink rum all night and put on a pirate voice and really say whatever the fuck I want as I am a fucking scallywag pirate. I think I can still pull it off it's just a lot easier with the rum. I lose a bit of my charisma in bars when I am not drinking. Anyone would. I use to hold a certain charisma in my hey day. I really knew how to drink. I really think now a days it is all about dating online for me. The norm. Have some dates and progress it along. I shouldn't even be thinking about one night stands but I still do. My real shot is a lot of people are probably going out and if a friend of a sibling or friend is a real slut... I mean that in a good way... A women that knows what she wants and gets it is a good quality... but I am supposed to be past these compulsions. I was reading some buddhism yesterday that talked about the art of refraining. Allowing the gaps to be there. No fidgeting or anything. I shouldn't even be projecting out these fantasies of meeting some girl in a slutty cat outfit. It really does me no good. So, how valuable is reflection?
How valuable is reflection?
That is just what is coming out. I am about to go to a really great Spanish restaurant pretty soon. My sister knows the sous chef and he is going to hook us up. I usually get the paella. It will be nice to have a plate of food like that instead of the fast food I have been gorging on. Tomato based sauce with bell peppers and onions and the like. I don't really need the sex or the porn. If I go back to Pittsburgh this week some friends with benefit sex would probably be healthy for me. I mean the one night stuff can be ok too but a lot of times it can be a bit heavy on the compulsive pleasure seeking which I think can make it better. It's not fun to have like a half of a burger, a couple of fries, and save the milkshake for later. Give me the burger, the fries, the milkshake, a few shots of whiskey, a couple of lines, a couple of parachutes of molly, and a big breasted hottie that loves to give blowjobs. I said hottie. That's stupid. I gotta go. Take care.
Streaming Starcraft: Remastered!by ClouD87, October 17
I started streaming some Starcraft in preparation for this tournament For those of you who don't know me, when I was playing Starcraft at my best around 2008 I have been for a while the non korean with highest iccup rating and I also had the opportunity to go to Korea as a full time progamer (but eventually declined). If you want to check my stream out and drop by to say hi it's always appreciated https://go.twitch.tv/cloud87it
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