Long story short, grinding live poker is not worth it dudes unless you got these conditions;
- You at least have a consistent, close by juicy live game that plays like 2/5 or higher
- The success of the games is not significantly relevant to your quality of life, if it is it's just not going to be worth the stress
- You're already spending time in your life that are propelling you towards financial freedom like a lucrative career or investments
- You don't already have a solid foundation of health and fitness
Based on the games I've seen maybe If you played your A game, maybe, just maybe you can have 60-80k years being a full time grinder at low stakes live games 1/2 - 5/10. I'm also pretty aware that even that is thinking optimistically. One should also be aware that trying to achieve this is almost going to be like work a job with a graveyard shift which in most cases is not good for your health so you should it's really not worth it unless you make atleast 120k$ or higher just so you can the ability to take long breaks and try to retire early.
For me personally poker in general is just not a good thing to do if you "have" to do it. It just sucks out all the fun out of it, makes me play worst, I don't know why I don't have as much patience as I used to, maybe because I'm old dude now that could have been in a farther place in life than I am right now, but hey that's a whole different story.
Basically to all you young folks, beware of the poker life. Don't do it to fulfill any monetary goal, just do it if it's a pure hobby. There's so many careers out there that can allow you to actually help people and if you're smart with your money along the way, you can actually retire in like 20 years at age 45-50, or just go down to part-time which is what I'll hopefully be doing.
A little about myself I'm freaking 29 and still only about to start nursing school which will take me another 2 years of schooling before I can land a gig. I want to do it because it's a career path where I can benefit society, make better than average income (average 120k in my region), have a flexible schedule (only work 2 to as many days as I want per week), and have good security and to move to another location and a job if I wanted to. While I'm a nurse I want to establish a fitness studio/small gym or two to generate passive income so that I can live a very comfortable life and basically be able to not be those parents that have to work all the time and not get to spend time with their kids.
I could have been a nurse when I was 23-25 instead of 31 but hey, I try every day to not focus on the past. Can't change the fact that I've done goofed a good portion of my 20's. I hope all of you guys out there try to not worry to much about any regrets and worry about what others think about you. Life's too short to worry about not following a typical life path and not "being on schedule." (ie. having a career at age X and having kids at age Y etc.). If you any of you guys feel down about any sort of stuff like this just have the mindset that I try to have.
Every day is an opportunity to do things that bring you fulfillment and happiness.
So, I am back home. I was out of town for about a month. Good times. I am still feeling a little disoriented being back home. For the last month I was around people and pretty active doing a lot of things. Now, some of my days have felt like pulling teeth. I realize this is my fault. I feel a bit disjointed with some of my friends. I have to be consistent with keeping up my relationships. Today, I meant to call a friend that we usually hang out and catch dinner but instead I got caught watching ASL. Now, I am at home on a Friday night (although I can still go out later). Again, I have to figure out how I am going to make money. It is a necessity and it is something that would occupy some of this pulling teeth time. Hopefully, less pulling teeth than pulling teeth time. But, I have written plenty on that so:
Brood war. I have really been enjoying these ASL matches. I more or less missed out on BW. I remember my brother playing it a lot. I did not end up playing it for whatever reason. I did get big into Warcraft 3. If I were to guess it was because I was obsessed with lacrosse in high school and then I did not have lacrosse. Getting better at Warcraft 3 I realized that a lot of people came from BW and many liked BW more. I remember watching Boxer replays and being like holy shit. I messed around with it but always came back to Warcraft 3. It was my goal to go pro. I got close in some WCG stuff but never close to pro whatsoever but it was through Warcraft 3 I heard about poker. It was through my forays into BW that I knew about Team Liquid and I lucked out on timing and got some corroboration. I first heard that Tillerman was doing well in poker and then team liquid were many more cases. That sparked the inspiration that it could be done. I was on Liquid Poker since day 1. Putzed around with $25 on Party Poker. Decided to get serious with $150 on Stars. Those were some good times. Findagrind times. What a time times. I was so lucky but it was also not a question that that is how I was going to make some money.
I am flashbacking a lot on all sorts of stuff. I have urges to hook up the ole desktop and find a good mouse and dick around with some BW again. It would be ugly but it may be crackalicious. It is just nice to watch the ASL and the level of skill there. I remember thinking that the best BW players may be better than anyone at their craft. They spend more intense time than anyone? I guess poker players spend a lot of time playing as well. A 50 yr old surgeon has to be pretty boss at what they do. A 60 yr old consultant who has spent 40 years in the field and still has energy has to be a beast.
That was kind of weird how I just started getting flashbacks on random things regarding Warcraft 3, BW, and poker. There were times I was absolutely loving life playing Warcraft 3 like 12+ hours a day and that game sucks comparatively to BW. I remember some of my roommates had an intervention on me with my poker playing. It probably was not a bad idea with the amount I was playing but I remember I was murdering $1/2 at the time and it really felt like I was rich. $400/hr over some samples is pretty damn rich, damn. I remember the jolt in confidence that was. Now, I just want to be decent at BW and play some BW games and watch ASL. All these years later and I am still looking for the unconventional way to make some money. Besides a stint at a large corporation (which did not go well) unconventional is all I know. Yet, it just feels like those wells have dried up. All the wells have dried up. The walls are closing in sometimes and I just do not know what to do. I am looking for escape. Escape that will likely not bring me closer to where I want to be. But, I do not know if where I want to be is the place for me. There is a saying, "I am exactly where I am supposed to be." I just don't think God has a plan for me. Shit happens and then you die. Well, I don't want shit and I don't want to die. Where is inspiration? Where is motivation? Where is peace?
Ahhh, a bundle of Monet lily pads. That calms me down. But, then I think about the $400 in painting supplies I spent to paint a fourth of a painting. I need first person VODs people. How does Flash do it?
I write this on the eve of the day I drive back home from Charleston, SC. Quite a trip it has been. I am back in the pleasure trap baby! That is half serious exclamation for the added enjoyment of food and half sarcasm in that is what the trap entails. I was going to link a vid but just youtube it if you are interested. Cliff notes is that I am loving all the food I can at the moment and am compelled to eat that food. I am talking shrimp and grits, fried chicken, burgers and fries, red curry fried duck, lobster mac and cheese. Oh, it is delicious. Charleston is a fantastically, exceptionally, amazingly excellent city for food. I highly recommend a visit. I was walking on the beach just about every day in January. The architecture downtown is to splooge for. je ne sais quoi out the whazoo. Best ironwork in the USA.
What am I contemplating? How good the fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, and collard greens were tonight. As I tried to enjoy the key lime pie, news that my brother's father in law was in poor poor condition. He had a serious stroke and it has been a roller coaster ride for my brother's wife and mother and my brother too. Myself? I just wanted to enjoy the continued gaiety of the evening with a piece of pie. That was over, that was ruined. My mom is now upset. I want to say something stupid like "Jim Morrison always said none of us get out of this alive." I am upset that my brother and my sister in law and her mother are upset. From my perspective, this is existence. It is rough though. The roller coaster of surviving the first major stroke and brain surgery and hope. Hope can be such a double edged sword. Hope that he will survive only to find countless blood clots and a temperature of 104. None of us get out of this alive. Our order can be shaken at any moment. Chaos is waiting around any corner, nook, and cranny. Robotically I eat my key lime pie. It was not a celebration of the senses as I would have hoped. More so a systematic endeavor mixed with some tension in my body and the air. My brother's father in law is going to die. Most likely sooner rather than later. This sucks. Everybody grieves in different ways. Denial is strong. Very strong. It is like some giant, bad ass gundam with missiles and giant swords and a bad attitude. It can be overcome. Acceptance is like looking out from a peak onto a magical Shangri La of fairies and dragons and butterflies and discovering where the next path is. A blow job from the high elf priestess with the gifted lips and eyes that was looking your way, yes! of course!
I need to get a decent enough job and move out of my parents' place. That was some clarity from the peak for me. It has to be a part of my path. Or else no blowjobs! High priestess or otherwise! Getting a decent job seems like a bit of a ridiculous thing to be a dragon for me but I must slay this dragon, however, difficult it has been. I enjoy a bit of chaos though. Always have. I am excited at the prospects of moving to Charleston. I am also excited to get back home and see some friends. This world we live in. So, many choices or none at all. It is quite the choose your own adventure or a choose your own adventure already written. Ah fuck, I do not want to get into that here. I have more reading to do on free will. This is all virtual reality. I just have to get through it like anyone else. Love and understanding for my fellow man is all I can do. Man, if i can just slice off a piece of some peace. Much in this world arrives, drifts, then dissipates. That is my fate. Led by the fates. Led by the muses. Who chooses?
Live hold'em refreshenerby Big_Rob_isback, December 30
So I go play at a casino 1/3 and 3/5. I get the itch to play in the winter, the last few years i make a decent five grand per winter maybe. Anyway, I started playing this past week and I am super rusty on a few concepts and I think I always have been.
Low pocket pairs in live low stakes. I am talking 66-22. They just dont seem profitable opening at a loose table, or even over-limping in middle position. I feel open raising 22-66 has been lighting money on fire against loose callers only 100bb deep. I am thinking about folding these more pf, and only playing them in the cutoff if folded to. I feel it is much better to actually call a raise with these hands in late position than open with them in middle position.
Secondly, I feel I complete the sb too often when the pot is limped. Is Q9o ok? How about J7s? J8s?
I also fold AJo utg and utg+1 and AQo utg is a raise I guess? My utg range is 99+ and KQs+ so pretty tight.
I make a lot of 3 bet bluffs and take down pots when checked to in position. I make some big overbets to get folds,
I think I do a lot of things right postflop, but std preflop is bugging the hell out of me, I never played full ring online so ya.
Also, a selfish sidenote. Coming from the perspective of somebody who never wants to play online poker again, I hope it stays illegal. There will never be good young players without online poker, so live poker will be soft as hell. Idk, that just seems logical to me. I dont see full legalization ever recreating a second boom with whales to go around online and live.
First thing first, i will give a small update on my life.
I work in IT and make good salary. Been working out. Recently broke up with my ex because sex was terrible and not improving.
So since the break up, ive been dating girls. Thing is, i now aim higher than before and so ive had a lot of fails.
Recently, i meet a girl i essentially consider almost perfect. Sex is omg amazing. Physically she's really nice for me (small tits but i don't care. Super slim. Nice face). Her personality is perfect. She laughs at everything i say. She does everything i say. She cooks great. She does massages. She smiles, etc.
Now your gonna ask what's the problem... well its simple. She's from burkina Faso and she's "visiting" here. She has to leave in 2 months. She's gonna try to extend it for 6 months.
So i guess this mostly leaves 2 options:
1) Keep enjoying my time with her for as long as she's there, and then find another girl.
2) Start talking about "mariage", which is only way i can think of which means she stays.
The problem with #2 is obvious. First of all its obviously possible she's doing this just to get out of her shit hole country. I don't really doubt she likes me at least a little (she could pick any guys here), but its obvious her country is horrible. Secondly, here in canada, if you do this marry thing, there is like a 12 months delay before she can come here, and then you are responsible for her for 3 years....
Quite obviously, i expect people on a poker forum to laugh at me of even considering #2. But its hard for me to totally forget it. I do feel like i love her and she loves me, and in my mind, worst case scenario is she quits me after 2 years and i gotta pay for her for 1 year, and i personally think she would most likely work anyways.
I guess if i just go with #1, i'm probably just gonna find another girl, but for some reasons i feel its really hard to find a combination of a girl where she looks great, does great sex, and has great personality, on the internets!
Edit: I guess there exist #3, which is hide her at my home, but this is illegal and i could go to jail... so yea.
It has been a while since I have been to Vegas. I think the last time was 2008 for New Year's Eve. Besides Aria and city center stuff and name changes and upgrades it has not changed much. It is funny how little details and memories creep in. I am actually staying in the same hotel I stayed in the first time I was here in 2006. It is the same table I was grinding out $2/4 on Ket's laptop and sweated crazy insane $3/6 games with Ket, Mez, Vaesolis. It was in this hotel I created my FullTilt Poker name. I ate at the same Chipotle today that I did when we debated whether or not TJBentham could eat 2 or 3 Chipotle burritos in a sitting. Oh, the tilting $17 gym charge. The pho place is no longer around. Right across the street is the first live casino poker I ever played at the Venetian. I was drinking red bulls and treating it like the big game. I miss that enthusiasm. I played a bit today and just nothing. I thought I would get a bit of the rush but just nothing. I have not played live poker in ages and there is a reason for it. I just laugh at that kid excited to play a marathon session but oh do I miss it. Getting dealt aces, flopping top set, missing your draw and a good bluff river card hitting, cutting out the chips but it just was not happening tonight. I quickly was wishing the Venetian had Baccarat where I can peel the cards to destruction. I would walk to the Wynn but it is freezing cold out with the wind chill. The wind is gusting like Gus Hanson's machismo after winning a poker tourney.
If I am not playing poker for an income there is nothing there. Since I have kind of gotten to the point of not playing poker for an income it is the reason I never play poker. I was just rusty. Made some pretty poor weak tight plays which pissed me off. Made some noob live plays. There was money to be made but I felt silly sitting there grinding out a live 1/2 game if there is no entertainment value and then boom, like I said, I instantly wanted to get dealt a face card and then get to sweat a 4 across. That might be my favorite gambling situation now.
There are definitely a lot of attractive women around. This has jolted my libido. There are parts of me that want to be inside a women. There are also parts of me that wished I could drink. I am in just a weird celibacy mode where the prospects of having sex are slim even though I am in Vegas for a wedding. Another thing I noticed is that the attractiveness in the Bellagio is quite a lot higher than in Treasure Island. Vegas has always been a great city for sexy. It has also always been a great city for spending a lot of money. Room service wants $30 for some pancakes and a pot of coffee. That is the first thing that jumped out at me. I will not go on. I just thought it was weird for me to write about the spending a lot of money thing and then just leave it disjointed.
Jordan Peterson says writing helps with the thought processes. I am working on his future authoring project that he talked about on the Joe Rogan Podcast. I would say it has helped out tremendously for me. I may or may not be more lost than anyone else. I had some epiphany like moments where some stuff just became clear to me. Some stuff I did not necessarily know or ever know.
Fuck, I have like 2 hours until my brother and sister get into town. Everyone else is on a bar crawl that I thought about going on but what am I going to do on a bar crawl sober with a bunch of 21-24 yr old party animals? Time to google: "Where can I play baccarat and destroy cards?" or just deal with it and get some blackjack in. If I do not watch out I am going to be throwing my own pity party if it has not already begun. Food is my solace. I just had the thought to Uber out to Naked Fish or try out Firefly or go back to Fix. Mmmmmm, mac n cheese, Bobby Baldwin burger, and lobster tacos. I can not wait to get to Bouchon for brunch on Sunday. I have had thoughts of checking out to see if I can get a croissant for breakfast at the bakery.
So, a bunch of people are staying in TI. We need stuff within walking distance. Bouchon is closed (some of us will be going for Sunday brunch). Carnevino may be too expensive and non-casual. We are mostly looking for casual. Something I can wear some jeans to.
Transfer of $ from 5dimes to Skrill. by bubsoner, December 14
Hi guys I need to transfer $654.88 from 5dimes do Skrill/PS. I'll send first to some reputable member. If anyone is willing to help for some small fee, please PM me.
I'm struggling with this game. Maybe it's because I've been playing since I was 12 years old and have developed a bunch of bad habits since then. I'm not sure, but I know that I'm a losing poker player as of currently. I've really started putting in time, and concentrating about 3-4 months ago, and I cannot figure this game out. I "know" what to do, but I truly don't know what to do. I don't truly understand the actions in which I am taking, and could not explain them all of them effectively, and cogently to another person. My view of the game is quite incoherent, and thus this is extremely frustrating because I don't know what I am doing wrong, other than the obvious face that I know I am doing something wrong. I feel like I'm lost in the abyss trying to formulate a constructive point of view, but with utterly no success.
One thing I am not going to do is give up. I can't. I have the unwavering urge to improve, but I feel like I need some guidance/help.
Some study out of Harvard came up with 4 things that will lead to happiness and contentment:
- Time spent with people one cares about
- Helping others
- Exercise
- Being grateful
I know a guy who denigrated that and said who needs Harvard, his grandmother knew that. Maybe he is right. Maybe he resents education because he does not have any formal education and has illusions that everything can be learned "on the streets."
I bring it up because yesterday reminded me of it. I spent time with family and moved furniture all day. I had some toast and almond butter and bananas and coffee for breakfast. I had a nice shit. I had a panera salad for lunch. I ate some amazing chaana masala for dinner. I watched "The Green Room" and then went to sleep. That was it.
Nothing too exciting. Nothing too euphoric. I did not bang any dimes while doing cocaine and viagra but the day brought me serenity and contentment. The Amish might get it to some extent. In many ways no but getting together and building a barn and having a good meal that is a great day.
Now, I just sit in an empty house typing up a blog looking to fill up the hours. The existential spectre haunts me. I am not specifically thinking about death or the emptiness of the universe but I realize it is there, standing over me like the ghost of Christmas future. Well, at least I have groceries to get. Well, I can perhaps meet with those people there. I can take a shower and do my hair. A little bit of vanity can pass the time. It is so quiet. I long for the days of figuring out how to get that huge couch upstairs and breaking a sweat. Words of encouragement and high fives. Oh, I have a left over samosa. Nice. I need some more coffee.
Ahhh, coffee. A shit and some coffee this feels like a blank new page. I hit the reset button. Wrath of God, Armageddon. "Jesus will save us." Nope. Now, Jesus was a good man... decent mythology... No, I do not want to go down that road right now.
*RiKD plays another Armageddon*
I typically only have 1 shit in me and have a full coffee so what is a man supposed to do?
Magic was a great game. It probably still is. I really loved X-Men comics. I was not the biggest fan of the most recent X-Men movie. Sometimes I do not like to let my nerd side show so much but it is a part of me. I delivered pizzas to a games shop that were playing some sort of tabletop miniature wargame. The nerd was strong in there. More power to them it is probably time better spent than writing a bunch of shit in a blog but I remember thinking I am like a fake nerd to these guys. "X-Men LOL." "Magic LOL." Although I did briefly play Warhammer and painted all my guys but we built lands and played in my friend's basement. That game was expensive.
While writing this it did not feel like the house was empty. I was not thinking about the house. I was not thinking about anything except for what I was thinking. Thinking and writing. Thinking and writing.
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