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http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/1031/huhuhuw.jpg

The last 1,300 in winnings came from the last 24 hours lol

My goal in 2011 is to run better than I did in 2010 also to play more
1/2 NL HU(right now its 20%-.25/.5 75%-.50/1 5%-1/2) but on Ub its kinda scary since the initial bi is 200 BBs deep for any HU table


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So 2010 was my best year so far both in poker and in life overall by far. 2011 will be even better. I'm wiser, sexier and richer then a year ago and in addition to that I've got a plan which will turn me into a even better human being. I killed my old Swedish blogg because it took too much energy so I might post some rants here from time to time.

Anyway, happy new year! May your sets fill up on the river and the girls you encounter be of questionable moral!


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So it's been an interesting couple of days for me. Yesterday after not sleeping well for 5 or 6 days I just had enough and the pain I was in was just getting unbearable so I went to the hospital. I couldn't take another day of it. Well turns out I had a fever of 102 and I was dehydrated which makes sense because I've been sweating profusely ever since I stopped taking the Zoloft. They put me on an IV and took some chest x-rays and did some blood work. Of course I came back completely healthy (what always happens, no matter how much pain I'm in) but I was there for like 7 hours while they did all that. When I left my temperature had dropped to 99 and I was feeling slightly better and I managed to sleep when I finally got back home.

I was feeling better yesterday but not up to poker so I watched some videos and played a little League of Legends. Also studied a few different articles on psychology, mostly concerned with ADD. It was nice to not spend the day bed ridden and racked with pain though. Mostly just sweating my ass off for no particular reason.

It's becoming apparent to me that if I do get a degree in psychology it will just be so people listen to me and I have some credibility, because I feel the field is incredibly lacking. For one thing, they seem overly concerned with symptoms. What chemical imbalances exist? What vitamin deficiencies? What are the symptoms of ADD and how do you diagnose it?

As far as effective cures, or discovering what might actually cause the various symptoms associated with a disease, there is not much available. The status quo is to find some sort of drug (usually a powerful mind altering one like meth aka adderall or cocaine aka ritalin) to calm down whatever symptoms are associated with the disease and then hopefully with therapy the patient can learn to not need the drug by developing specific behaviors and ways of coping with their symptoms. Still though, not much is said about WHY someone might have said symptoms. Not to mention it is very disturbing and downright horrifying to read about peoples experiences with the side effects of such powerful mind altering drugs and the fact that these are prescribed to young children.

Imagine your child has a broken bone that is protruding for the world to see, yet the only thing doctors tell you to do is to either have the leg removed or to be given a drug that takes your mind off the pain but you will have to take it for the rest of your life in most cases and you will never be 100%. I think most people would be outraged at these circumstances, yet that's exactly what goes on in the field of psychology today. A percentage of people recover and return to living normal lives, most don't and are forever doomed to a life of prescription drugs and the side effects associated with them. Often people end up even worse than before. It's as if the field of mental health is still in the dark ages compared to the rest of society.

Well having spent the bulk of my life with symptoms classified as manic depressive, OCD, ADHD, bi-polar, NPD, you name it, I have been in a constant and habitual search of my mind for answers. That was part of the problem of course, but I'd like to talk about my own insights on the subject.

First off, one element that is sorely lacking in psychology is the concept of responsibility. In fact, the very definition of insanity is that someone is not responsible for their own actions. To be not responsible for your actions is to be doomed to live life as an animal in a constant state of stimulus response survival. You are no more than a dog trying to get a bone. A sack of chemicals that wanders around waiting for your environment to dictate your actions. The truth is it is very easy to fall into this state. When you are in a situation where your fight or flight response mechanism kicks in, your logical and reasoning side shuts down and your mind and body take over. It's true a person could be said to be not responsible for their actions in this state. For the neurotic they are stuck in this state on certain subjects. For the psychotic they are stuck in this state nearly 100% of the time and often to a debilitating level that doesn't let them function, never knowing true peace or relaxation or love having completely lost touch with their humanity.

So what makes us human then? What can someone really be responsible for? Do we define ourselves by our actions? Some would say so. But if someone is a murderer and completely changes their life and never murders again, when do they stop being a murderer? Of course the answer is when he decides to, and no amount of prison or punishment can force someone to do that. In fact I think it's clear that trying to define a person and label them by their actions is completely cruel and unfair, and our prison systems are a testament to that, that's another subject though. All that should matter is that they learn from their mistakes.

My opinion is that the only thing that defines a person is the very thing which makes us human and not animals. That part of ourselves we call our soul, our conscious - that part of us that is aware of being aware, the observer, whatever you want to call it. The part of you that is pure awareness and creativity, the operator pressing the buttons of this amazing computer called the mind. That part of you that is certainty, that recognizes what is real and what isn't. That part of you that can tell the difference between vivid dreams or mental wanderings and reality. It's what brought us out of mere subsistence survival and separated us from just being an animal.

So what is the mind then? Separate from the conscious part of ourselves is the mind which is basically just a collection of tools at our disposal that are meant to better our chances at survival. They are meant to be useful which is a key distinction. Any habitual tendency you have you have it because you find some use out of it. As children we are quite free with our minds and have fun just going from one thing to the next playing with this awesome toy. One second we are playing the evil guy, the next the saintly knight, the next dinosaurs are attacking and we are cavemen. We don't take it personally, we know it's not real, we just have fun. Over time our habitual tendencies become ingrained in ourselves and in a lot of cases begin to take over forming literal neural trunk lines in our brains. We begin to get lazy as the observer or the conscious and just let our minds take over. Everyone does this.

There is nothing wrong with any of this of course, and no one could get anything done if this system wasn't set in place. The problem lies when traumatic and painful incidents occur where our life is perceived to be threatened in some way. During these moments our survival mechanisms kick in, our fight or flight response takes over and the observer is sort of kicked out of the picture. We are no longer being human, we are responding as if an animal would when you put a hot poker to them. Ever have a bad case of food poisoning and then never want to eat that food again? You might even still think of the food as tasting good, but the thought of eating it just makes you ill. The emotional impact of the event is such that you can no longer be responsible, the mind shuts you out and takes over. It has recorded anything unique to the event and if you put yourself in a situation with similar circumstances it is going to hit you with some pain to make sure you get out of there. Like I said everything in your mind is there because it's considered useful.

The truly devastating thing though is when we are told that we CANNOT CHANGE. That we ARE those habitual patterns in our mind. It's like being handed the keys to a ferrari with no brakes and we are cruising around at 180 mph all the time. Eventually we give up trying to stop and forget there was ever anything else besides driving this dumb car around, and we lose ourselves and believe WE ARE the ferrari! What else is there to life after all? It's funny if you think about it. It's clear with things such as NLP that this is simply not true, any of our habitual patterns in our minds can be replaced with new more effective ones. When we are told we cannot change, when we are told we cannot be responsible for ourselves, our humanity is ripped away from us. All of us instinctively fight against this, and I think that is why psychology is still looked down upon and it's a sort of stigma if you admit to having needed therapy.

Well, I could go write a book about all this if I wanted to (maybe I should). My plans for now are to get my degree and then start practicing my own form of therapy. I plan to use marijuana extensively, having smoked it myself I found it to be extremely therapeutic and beneficial when combined with the right guidance. It allowed me to separate from my mind, to see the habitual and subconscious thoughts swirling around in my head and to regain control of them and replace them with new ones. It allowed me to get back to myself which is the only place true healing can begin. Zoloft did similar things, and maybe in some extreme cases harder drugs like that could be used, but I feel like I never needed it in the first place. It did basically the same thing marijuana did, just with way worse side effects and a ridiculous withdrawal.

I hope some day I can make a huge change in peoples lives across the planet. This is something that applicable to all of us, not just the ones that are so obviously crippled that they have to be put on medication. All of us are a little crazy, anything that you couldn't change your mind on easily and quickly you are somewhat crazy on. Think about that for a second and the far reaching effects it would have on society if everyone was fully conscious, aware, and free minded. Governments would not be necessary, you couldn't control people through mental manipulation and advertising, the poker economy would die lol. I think poker is proof that people just do not have control of their minds, so many times just "shutting off" and going on auto pilot and not understanding why. It really does anger me how many people have suffered needlessly with minds that were out of control and debilitating.

Worse than that is how people with mental conditions are looked down upon by those who don't. I say "don't" loosely, they just appear more sane by societies standards. All of us have the capability to become a serial killer, a murderer, a rapist. Whatever evil humanity is capable of we all have within ourselves but most people don't want to admit that. They read about someone like the godmother of cocaine Griselda Blanco who was responsible for the murders of 100's of people and look down in disgust and contempt.

I prefer to take pity at just how far people can fall from their humanity, understanding that if I was raised in their situations I might very well have become the same. For Griselda Blanco, death and murder and violence were just an ordinary part of her childhood, she had committed her first murder at the age of 11. That could be you if you were in her shoes. There are so many poor lost souls out there and we just torture them even further or lock them away so we don't have to think about them because we don't understand them. They highlight our own worst fears and things we don't want to look at in ourselves.

Well, if I can effect any change in my life in regards to all of this I will die a happy man. Of course there are many people in positions of power who are hopelessly lost and have a vested interest in keeping everyone at the state of chemically addicted animal. They are so afraid of not being in control their worst fear is a society of sane free-willed individuals. I'm sure I'll be flying right into the teeth of them. Hope I don't end up dead. If I do at least I'll be a martyr and hopefully it will make people take notice, we all have to die at some point after all.


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I have been around LP for about a year now.

and I finally made my account today.

gratz me!!!

btw

I play .1/.2 and those coaching sessions are pretty expensive for my stakes.

so I am thinking about forming a study group of 4.

on certain time, we meet online through mikogo and talk about hands for an hour or two.

there is, of course, no qualification, but players who play similar stakes are preferred.

for those who are interested, leave a message or PM me.

thanks y'all


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I dont usually post results but since lotta people here have had such a shitty month Ive gotta show a shiny one like mine.
Some runbad but mostly my fault for playing 10/20 and 25/50 with little to no table selection because "I wanted to challenge myself" or some stupid shit like that, at the end there I started to mount a little comeback at lower stakes but it was too little too late.

http://img704.imageshack.us/img704/8725/decembery.jpg


happy new year :D


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tourneys thats it, it's gotta be tourneys from now on. Just cant play cash. I guess I'm of that "other" type of player that people talk about. Although gotta post some tourney results to know lol.


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Ive been fcking around poker for couple of years now, and im pretty aggrivated by the fact that i cant structure my game or bankroll management.

Its probably been 100 threads about diffrent individuals but i dont care about that, since this time its regarding me and
every case differs from person to person. What i am looking for is a small time stake or a poker coach (if no one wants to
put up the money, since i could not be legit, i could get it my self.)

What i need is motivation and tips for getting a structure in my game, and how to get the right mindset,
Im really tired of beeing a degen and wasteing the little i win from time to time.

Now this is obv free for you to reply or take interest in so please dont flame.

If someone would stake me (but i really think coaching is whats important, since im beginning new job in 2 weeks, i could get the money then.) i would apreciate it deeply. I would be willing to make a deal like Giving x amount % of whatever i win like every 3 month or 6th month for maybe something like 2 years. Which would make this an income over time for whoever is willing. If i get the right mindset i can play poker for sick amount of time and a lot of hands. But lateley ive been struggling to find the right mindset and structure. So remember im not mainly asking for a stake but a coach, thats willing to teach and train me for % of my winnings over time.

Might sound silly but its kind of new years resolution i want to fix a couple of things in my life and make a fresh start
on sevral aspects in my life including poker.

I dont have much hope that anyone would bother, But if someone out there wants to discuss this with me i would really apreciate it.

Feel free to ask anything from me or give me suggestions.

Thnx again LP for listening and Wish you all a good new year, and lots of fortune in the year to come


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Designer kinda made it worse so i ended up doing the just the basic theme and editing colors myself lols. I'll soon put in a link to LP in the poker and gambling board coz this site has been good to me . help me by making an account (just use smurf emails etc) to increase the memberlist lol, so far it only has like 7 members and im planning to promote it(meaning throw poker money at it)im planning on making it a hobby and put ads and small membership fees in my city to help me from poker boredom/misery and pay some small bills. i also have my vpp program there lol. talking with some people and renting out an ad billboard next week so i guess that might help the members since i only finalized the site the other day. the design is super plain but heh its jst a local davao city ebay clone so whatever
going back to poker real soon though (4 month hiatus) so good luck to all.
www.classifads.net


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looking to trade my 2K on PS for your 2K on FTP. reputable only.


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Ok, so i was thinking to maybe make a bet of like 3-5k$ or something w/e just to set a goal and follow it.

like if some1 wanna do this with me, that plays ~ the same stakes as me, ~1/2$ - 5/10$, but most volume have been around 1/2 - 2/4, still in the shotting at 5/10 and failing everytime stage atm.

im planning on not making a superlarge sample goal but atleast like 40k hands/month, playing 4-5 tables will take me around 100 hours/month wich is very realistic for me, and ive been slacking the last 4 months of the year only playing like 20-50 hours/month.

and i need to shape up.

So im planning on doing 480k or 500k hands next year, lets say 500k

anyone wanna make this bet with me? and like check off every month over MSN/skype and see if the monthlygoal was fullfilled? and bet like 3-4k$ or something on it?

and if both make their goal no one has to pay up obv just as motivation to grind

but i need something like this i think to MAKE ME DO IT

ive had 10-14bb/100 over 140k hands now last year on 1/2 and 2/4 and it would feel nice to put down the volume on those stakes for reals next year and maybe put away some money + get a profit of 1M SEK (swedishcrowns) mark next year, (wich is around 145 000$ or something)

should be doable

ive talked to my only RL medium/higherish stakes friend about it and he is up for it but he is in the middle of playing HU and learning omaha and shit and he dosnt use HEM and dont wanna get it to calculate how many hands and blablabla hes just laazy.

soooooo any1? =)

edit:

here are graphs of my play of 5/10 SEK - 15/30 SEK wich is 150$NL-450$NL basically in $

265k SEK = ~40 000$
and as some of u know i 24 tabled before this switch of sites on PS before, and made about 17 000$ rakeback there breaking even, and i klonked some tourneys and also did some retarded stuff on some other sites but im at a 60 000$ year or something everything included, starting as a nl50 grinder of the start of the year ive improved alot

just as motivation for some1 to maybe wanna do this with me as we can talk some hands and stuff over, im not too good but i guess im decent atleast

http://imgur.com/aq0qm.jpg
http://imgur.com/FicbG.jpg
http://imgur.com/fjKdi.jpg


(THESE GRAPHS ARE ONLY FROM THE 2ND HALF OF MY YEAR, u can find the PS graph from my older blogwhines that i used to make about running 200BI under ev etc, but that was basically breakeven results over 600k hands)
click em for bigger





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Been pretty tiring year, considering its my third attempt at beating highstakes (25/50). In 2008 and 2009 I lost 200k on 25/50+ and this year I finally came through and won about 150k.

Total profits for the year is around 450k about 150k behind ev. Pics or it didnt happen below~ Who was the one that wanted to bet that I ran according to ev for the year?? Yea I'd like to bet about 150k that I didn't..

December
http://i.imgur.com/f2M2e.png

December was full of balls, last few days especially. Long story short, had an upset stomach for the last 5 days and it was very very hard grinding 24 tables and vomitting every 30-60 minutes. Glad its over.

2010 Could only take a screeny coz an error came out everytime i tried to do the yearly graph.

http://i.imgur.com/n8nzn.jpg

Some stats.
Hands played: 1367147
Session played: 12693
Amount won: $450,472.30
BB/100: 1.45
Hours played: 1424.17
Hourly: $316.31


In summary I've achieved and surpassed my 2010 goal of making 500k USD (including RB and bonus). I am ecstatic as I fell short last year by about 100k.

I have self excluded my self for a full week of relaxin and partying, and will make a new blog when I'm back about my goals and views on 2011. Happy new year everyone, I won't be posting on the forums till next year. Best of luck to those who are still going strong!

HATERS WHERE YOU BE AT??


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Ok I looked around still couldn't find it. I need to know how to submit HEM hands with HUD stats for LP, as well, for Pokerhand.org or are there any other good hand posting sites? Thanks

Nm got it


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When will this end? 45k hands/3.5 weeks/$4.1k - This just doesn't seem real. I have taken 3-4 days off between each of my last two sessions and just continue to lose horribly. I have booked one winning session since December 4th.

SLIT!!! So many times I would 3 bet broadway cards and I had so many people call with SC OOP and just ram me in the ass over and over. If I did hit top pair it usually followed with the worst turn and river coming losing me a lot of value or they just had me dominated from the start. 8/10 times I flatted 99-JJ to a 3 bet a King would fall on the flop.


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yay after yesterdays session i did sit down today again and practice some theory what i might do wrong.
I also dl leakbuster application and run through my hands.
did make out some things i did wrong and started a session

I feel like i finally know again how to win at micros 6max

http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/1127/nl25new.jpg

compare that to yesterday

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/1127/nl25new.jpg

So far i still do some things wrong , but i am happy i finally did notice why those regs are breakeven forever and what to do different.

Lets see how it will work out 2011

edit
http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/893/nl25newest.jpg

GL ALL

overall month i am only up ~ +140$
pretty much a fail if i dont bank big next month ^^
<3
edit +210$ now


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Well, considering that I've just finished a really bad session @ nl200, I definitely don't feel too confident about my game. My HU game is great, but for some reason my 6 max game hasn't been faring too well. I think I need to nit up a little bit. Other than getting flush over flushed in a 3 bet pot today, most of my other plays were a bit aggressive, but not bad imo. I'm going to work on my game and hopefully get to nl400 sometime in the next year. Since tomorrow and Friday are basically days to relax and have fun, I'm basically done with poker for this year.

This year has been a great year in poker for me. I got a coach in the beginning of the year, I learned the basics of how to play poker. Ever since then, I haven't been playing that much poker at all. I played a little during the summer and then every now and again I play some poker at home when I get home from work. It's definitely been a fun ride, and this has been my best year of poker yet.

Results this year:
+15k not including rakeback
200k hands played
nl200 6m/HU

Did I meet my goals for last year? Hell no. But I've definitely had fun and I feel like I'm getting better. Plus, the older I get the less the money means to me, so that's good.

Cheers to a new years.

http://imgur.com/63Giv.png



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I took a nice little break from poker after getting promoted at my job. I am finally enjoying poker again and just play when I feel good. I am pretty happy right now and don't have any desire to move up quickly.

http://imgur.com/ZpbUL.jpg

I am gonna start taking Muay Thai classes soon and getting in tip top shape. I also just signed up for some tactical handgun and marksmanship classes. I will be looking to buy a pistol soon if anyone has any recommendations.


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http://img692.imageshack.us/img692/328/18manstats.jpg
Last 5 days of 18 mans... basically grinded $16, $27, $38, $60, and $114 50 tabling to get to SN lol. Ran good in $16-$38, and pretty terribly in $60-$114 :[ Pretty standard though. That being said, I have accomplished a lot of my goals that I had for the year, including beating 18 mans over a reasonable sample, and am pretty happy with how my game has progressed in the last month with 18 mans. I think I owe some of my success to ihaterivers for helping me with a few hand histories. Going for supernova elite next year, but it's kind of a big goal to accomplish. I don't know how feasible it is for me to get it, but I definitely have the drive to make it. If I don't make it, I'll still be happy with 500-600k vpp milestones, so I figure I might as well aim high.
Good luck LP!


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Dec

ran great... then bad... then luckboxed 5th for a tourney, then ran great again at the end. I only have 1m session left to hit diamond status on ap so ill jus post my dec results now. I have about 1.3k~rb coming in so that makes it about 7.5-8k month.

http://imgur.com/SemJg.png

2010

had around $$50 chillin in my account in june and decided to take sngs seriously. Started off at the 1500 chips 6$ husngs and won like 100 bi in a couple days. I aggressively moved up all the way to the 35s$ and experimented with 6max ultra turbos sngs(both 1500 chips and 300 chips). Found some good success there so I split my volume almost 60/40 between husng and 6max sng. I made around 20k from a $50 bankroll in 6 months so I'm pretty satisfied with that. Next year, my plans are to be on the sharkscope leaderboard for most profit and be proz mtt player. gl


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That was a close one. Just logged into Absolute to check out the MSNL HU scene and saw I had a few bucks on there. Proceeded to lose it all over 200 hands vs an 88/0 drooler who's down $8k at NL100 and below. I was almost going to deposit to play again, before realizing these players are unbeatable. Thank you rakeback for reminding me never to play micros again.


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