Ah, what a beautiful day! The sun is shinning, I'm up early in the morning, and today big O will get enough pledged delegates to pretty much lock this thing up. Deep down I have a hope that Hillary will see the result today and say "Ok, it's over, GG, good manner yo" and leave the race. But since there's so few contests left she'll probably stick around, which, yeah, sux. But maybe the uncommitted super delegates will put an end to this before June 3rd once Obama has the majority of pledged delegates.
Anyway, I thought this was pretty crazy. They had a campaign rally in Oregon and had a turnout of 75,000 people. That's fucking huge. I went and saw Obama when he came to Denver and the auditorium was packed around 8 or 9 thousand people. There were another 3,000 or so outside that they didn't have room for. I thought that was a lot. Having 6 times as many people would be nuts. The energy and excitment must have been pretty unreal.
Tonight will be fun as my GF and I are heading up to my mom's place to watch the election results together and celebrate. We started a new tradition during the primaries where we get lots of beer and wings and watch the results together. I'm looking forward to it tonight =)
As far as poker goes, I can't seem to focus on it right now. So I'm dropping down limits and just mass multi-tabling. I feel like I'm playing ok but then I make a stupid mistake. I dunno cause I haven't been checking my results at all lately. I just play a session and then once it's over I close everything down and avoid my cashier. Hopefully when I finally decide to look again I will have some profit in there, hehe.
How do I tell if I have a 16: 9 or a 16:10 widescreen on my laptop? I can't seem to find it anywhere and I'm not sure exactly wtf they're asking (is it a ratio or just the inches?)
As far as size by inches goes my laptops screen is 14.5 horizontal and 9 vertical. Not sure where the 16: 9 or 16:10 comes into play. Diagonal (corner to corner) it is a little over 17 inches.
Halflife 2 keeps freaking out on me when I'm playing and I think maybe if I tell it the right screen setting it will fix the problem. My 3 options are:
The last 10 days have gone pretty badly, though I didn't play for like 5 of them. I had about 3 days of hell and then the last 2 went pretty well. Not fantastic, but well. Doing NL50 again till around 2.5K or I am playing well and feel like taking a shot. Took a shot the other day while running godly but the heater ended when I moved up and I lost half a buyin @ NL100. Still on track to recovery though so that's good. And NL50 is pretty easy. Can't believe I become such a chump whenever I'm playing NL100. I swear I make the stupidest mistakes up there lately. Gotta get back into the groove and then move back up and play WINNING poker, not this spewy tilty shit I've done lately. I took a few bad beats and let it get to me. Not smart.
Graphs over last 10 days Dark green is Actual Winnings, light green is expected winnings
NL100: + Show Spoiler +
I'm exercising a lot more and waking up earlier. I used to think 11am was really early... I'd usually get up around noon or 1pm. My GF has to be at work @ 10am, so she always gets up before me, and I started feeling like a real bum because of that. I decided I needed to start getting up earlier cause my days felt wayyyy too short and with this beautiful summer weather I was missing out on too much. Plus it's so nice outside, I just felt like I was a real bum for sitting in front of a computer all day, avoiding the fresh air and sunlight. And if I get up early I can walk with her when she's going to work and then split off to do my own walk in this nice park near our house.
I've slowly started getting up an hour earlier each day and today hit 8:30am. I've started going out on a walk every morning in the park, which is nice on a few levels. First I try and speedwalk it to get the heart going (I hate running, weak lungs beaten down by weed/cigs over the years kick my ass anytime I run), then I do pushups at a nice spot, so it becomes a nice exercise experience. Second, it's a pretty park and I get to be out in the fresh air, sunlight and grass and trees and river and all that shit. It's a pleasant change. I'm aiming to do at least 100 pushups and 100 situps a day, which I know isn't very much but it's a great start from 0 anything for months. When I played football in High School our coach challenged us to do the "100 club" where we would do 100 pushups and 100 situps every day of the season. I took it on and when you put that on top of the running around in practice and required days in the weight room, man, that was the best shape I was in of my entire life. So I'm starting small. When I first started doing pushups again 10 in 1 set was hard, and 20 nearly impossible. Now I'm up to 60 in one set and the first 40 I can do very quickly without much trouble.
Oh, and food. That's my big problem. After moving back to the USA from India I became a bit of a glutton. There were so many things I missed eating that I just went to town in the eating department for several months. Got into some bad habits. When I first came back from India I couldn't finish an entire chipotle burrito. Serving sizes in India are tiny and the food is much lighter, so my stomach was much smaller. That chipotle burrito was just way too much. About half of it and I was too full for another bite. Now I chow that down without a problem and could still have a desert on top of it. My stomach is totally stretched out compared to how it used to be, and that is not a good thing.
So I've cut all my serving sizes in half. It's a bit shitty at times cause I will want to keep eating, but I don't NEED it. That's what I'm realizing. So if I'd normally have 2 pieces of chicken, a big serving of mashed potatoes and a muffin for lunch, now I have 1 piece of chicken, half the potatoes, half a muffin and I throw in a salad. I never got so full that I can't move anymore, which I think is a good thing. Sometimes I still feel hungry but not to any point where I need food. I think that if I can keep the veggies mixed in and cut the amount I eat in half while keeping up on the exercise I will be on track to being in good shape again.
Life outside of poker is definitely going well. I think that's helping me to do better at poker. I think if I focus solely on poker I start getting tilty cause I am not as driven - I get lethargic, bored, and impatient. I start focusing on the money and not playing perfect poker. When I play with the only thought in my mind being "Play perfect poker" I do my best. When I'm thinking "Win 3 buyins" I do horrible. And when I'm only focused on poker and neglecting everything else the other things in my life start going bad, which makes me feel shitty on top of being lethargic so I get even more tilty. It's weird cause I keep thinking "I need to play poker and make some money before I can worry about ______ (the blank is usually things like fun, relationship, exercise, eating right, cleaning up, doing errands, so on)." So I play lots of poker but since I'm playing so much I start playing worse, and since I'm neglecting stuff I feel bad about the rest of my life and play even worse, and then things outside of poker get worse but I don't deal with it cause I can't fix it untill I do well in poker... but I keep doing worse in poker and OMG, the cycle keeps going and next thing I know I've tilted off 15 buyins and I want to quit poker forever and give up on life. haha. Wow, it's weird to realize that.
This means that I have to remember to take care of the other parts of my life and it will translate into better poker play! YES! SECRET TO SUCCESS REVEALED!
Wow, what a ranting, rambling post. This was a total braindump. I had no idea what I was gonna write beyond the first paragraph, it all just flowed out and revelations were made. We discovered em together. Hope you guys enjoyed. And like alwyas, please leave a comment on your way out =)
I've been browsing political shit today and I've noticed a funny trend. When republicans comment at the end of the articles to support McCain, the posts are filled with typos, bad grammar, bad spelling, and extreme levels of cocky "WE PWN U NOOBS" gloating. Lot's of name calling and very little focus on policy.
I'm strong to the finish, when I eats me spinach,
I'm Popeye the sailor man! toot toot!
Let's look at an example:
YEAH MCCAIN!!!
Have you ever wonder why the symbol of the Democrats is a DONKEY- Because you all is that. MCCAIN GOT THIS… I Have never seen so many dumb people. LOL
KEEP FIGHTING YOU ALL IS HELPING OUR PARTY. LOL
WE are not even worrying about a backfire. We already know Democrats are dumb and lazy. So I hope Obama win so we can keep the Whitehouse because you all are to DUMB to go vote….lol
MCCAIN 08
P.S.
we will rule for another 4years and keep you ALL in your PLACE…lol
SORRY DONKEYS YOU WILL NOT GET THIS ELECTION
That's straight from CNN.com as a comment to a story about how McCain has flip-flopped on his Hamas position (click here to read). I was going to bold all the typos but realized I'd basically just have to bold the entire thing.
Here's another one:
cnn u make me sick u put out obama like hes fighting like a man whith his speeches against bush and hilary you just love this odnt you you make him look as good as you want and take a crap on everyone els obama is a chuuummmp he is a political puppet controll by the dnc and they still cant get things right this liberal bias is sickening and whats worse is theres nothing of value to speak of on the demecratic side but thats ok the liberals have started ruining our country a long time and now they want a well spoken puppet BOY to run our country thank you you socialist hypocrites please let me leave before you finish burning our country to the ground lit by the flags youll start the fire with
All sorts of cries about the liberal media and flag burning and destroying America and a bunch of crazy lunatic BS... this guy probably loves Bill Oral-ly and Fixed News.
So what are the rules here? If you're a violent testosterone war mongering nut-job who barely passed high school then you become a republican? Also if you're a cold hearted business asshole who doesn't give a shit about anyone else, you join the republican party? Are those the two groups that comprise it? I guess there's also the holier-than-thou lunatic evangelical Christians too. And if you're an overall kind and generous person but you're poorly educated, you support Hillary? It's fucking weird.
Ok, that's not really fair cause I have some Republican friends and they're not morons or assholes. Actually every Republican I know personally is a smart and good person. And I agree with a lot of core Republican values, like fiscal responsibility and states keeping their power and more, so despite my extreme generalization in the above paragraph I don't have anything against republicans... just the idiots who act like the comment ors above. Usually I notice the difference between Obama supporters and Hillary supporters, which generally is that the Hillary ones are a bit more ridiculous (she can still win!) and negative (Rev Wright!) and the Obama ones are usually a bit calmer, gracious and positive and hopeful for a better future. But today I saw some McCain ones and it was like "Whoa, these guys are wackos!"
The nice thing is that the Hillary supporters are slowly disappearing from the comment sections on all the news sites... where there used to be all sorts of cries of media bias and lists of reasons why Obama shouldn't be president (usually a list of stuff which had already been said a million times and proved wrong), now we're only seeing sad posts of acceptance with the occasional "you go girl, don't give up!" tossed in.
I'm excited for Tuesday. I'm gonna watch the results with wings n beer and celebrate when Obama finally gets the majority of pledged delegates. Time for the general election... which should be fun. I guess we can thank Hillary for already beating Obama's negatives to death so that when the Repubs try lots of people will be able to brush it off cause it's old news that is obvious BS.
As far as poker goes, the restart has gone pretty well. Was running like god so I jumped back up to NL100 for a bit and then ran like normal. Still up for the last 2 days though and planning to play a bit more today. I'm really focusing on shorter sessions and spending a good amount of time before I play working on getting my head straight so that I'm totally focused on playing perfect poker and avoiding tilt, spew and mistakes.
No plans for the weekend right now - might make it a bit of a video game / poker weekend if the GF will let me, hehe. Maybe if I take her to a salsa lesson on Sunday she'll be ok with me spending the rest of the weekend being a computer nerd. I guess it will be ok though cause she's getting lasik on Saturday so that means no going out tonight and probably not tomorrow either.
Ok, off to exercise. Need to get back into shapeeeee
I've taken 4 days off from poker, spent 2 of those reformatting my comp which gave me time without internet (nice to have the vacation) and got some perspective. I've played nearly every day since April 1st and I've been on a mission to get up to NL200. It was going well till I hit a bit of a downswing last week and to deal with it I tried mass multi-tabling, which just made things worse. What I should have done was take the 4 day break right away and saved some money.
I copy/pasted the title of my blog into google image and this was the first pic to pop up.
I liked it so now it's here
The biggest problem is that I lost focus on playing perfect poker and instead focused on making money. I decided that I wanted to pull out 1.5k in May and then anything over that would be BR building for NL200. I hit 3k and figured everytime I hit 3.5k (or got close) that I would pull out money to drop me back to 3k. I figured a 30 BI BR was good enough. But the problem was with this new strategy I was so focused on making money that any money lost threw me into all sorts of tilt. It wasn't obvious monkey tilt, but my game got slightly worse and worse each time it happened until I was suddenly in monkey tilt without realizing it.
I play best when I don't pay any attention to how much I've won or lost and don't care about the money. Then I just have fun playing poker and aim to make make the right choice every time a decision comes up. I think that's the key to good poker but it's so easy to lose it, especially when you get confident and feel you don't have to pay as much attention since you pwn these fish.
I'm a bit nervous cause I left poker on a losing note and my gut has the association that playing poker is painful cause I just lose money. But I gotta kick that feeling to the side and remember the joy of the game and the fact that I normally win money so that's an extra feeling of pleasure I will get if I get back into the grind-train.
So after reformatting I finally downloaded PT3 figuring I would give up HoldemManager and move onto the new and improved PT..... but after messing with it for a bit I'm not very impressed. I guess I should give it a bit more time before I write it off, but overall I've seen a lot more downsides than up. I'll list em:
Where PT is worse than HEM
1) The graph doesn't have an EV option.
2) There's no EV stats anywhere
3) Takes longer to load up stats (reports) than HEM does
4) The HUD isn't as well put together, plus HEM has better choices on the HUD.
Ok, some of my complaints went away while writing this cause I took the time to hunt around and found that they had a good list of stats and that the reason it was so slow last night is cause I was importing hands into HEM at the same time I tried to load reports in PT3.
Where PT is BETTER than HEM
1) The graph is prettier even though it doesn't have as many options.
2) It gives you a multi-table ratio for your sessions which is nice
3) The reports are all pretty good, especially in terms of giving you your winnings.
Overall they both seem to have a lot of bugs, especially in the HUDs. They both need a lot of work before I'd be overjoyed with either. But right now HEM is set up more cleanly for me. The thing that sux is that there's no way to use PokerEV or pokergrapher and so on with HEM. PT3 might not work with those either yet, but I'm sure that eventually it will since people always build tools to work off of the PT database.
Ok, that's my ramble for now. Originally I thought I'd put some serious thought into this but I got lazy.
"What does that do? It keeps things fresh? That's a fresher.... I'm on break"
Ok, hard to quote Mitch in any form and make it funny so I'll youtube it:
Anyway, I reformatted my computer which took 2 days cause Dell cut corners on the vostro's and didn't put the factory restore image in there, so I had to do it the old fashioned way. And then it wouldn't finish installing cause of some weird problem the vostro HD has with vista. Finally figured it out today and am in the process of reinstalling everything. I've wanted to reformat for a while cause when I upgraded my anti-virus it messed up all my games (CS, COD4, HL2) and I haven't been able to get em to work since. But I've been way too lazy, hehe. So since I was just spewing money at poker I decided I'd reformat and force myself to take a break. Gonna re-install shit today and start poker again tomorrow or the next day, depending on how I feel.
Sorry about that post last night guys - I was drunk and sitting at rock bottom. I figured no one would reply at all so I was really surprised to see so many people posting. I laughed at Kapols post (<3) and it was nice to see people sticking up for me (even if I do post too many hands, ahha!)
Anyway, last few days of poker have sucked balls and since I'd been cashing out I only had a 30 BI BR for NL100. Then I just couldn't win anything and started tilting by playing longer sessions than I should and too many tables. I mainly lost due to slight setups, things like AA as an overpair vs a set. If I wasn't tilted they'd be pretty easy folds, but I just wanted the win so badly that I couldn't fold any TPTK or better. By yesterday morning I was down to a 21 BI BR and feeling shitty about it.
I dropped down to NL50 and won about 3 BI's and decided to go back up and keep recovering, but back @ NL100 I only managed to tilt/spew and lose another 4 BI's, officially locking myself back into NL50. That tilted me really badly cause I'd been so happy to be "solidly" into NL100, and now I' thrown it all away.
So I quit playing poker for the day and tried to put on my happy face and have a good night out with the GF. I didn't tell her how bad I felt, trying to keep it hidden. That was a bad idea cause I started overreacting to small things and pissed her off, but since I was already so pissed off at myself I didn't do anything to calm her down, which basically escalated us into an all out war.
When I made that post last night I was in the worst point of the fight, basically feeling like shit cause I'd fucked up at poker and now I'd fucked up at my relationship and life. I got away from her for a second and pulled up a browser and as I heard her coming into the room I just quickly typed up that last blog post cause that was how I felt in the moment.
So that's what happened. Probably not close to as exciting as some people might have guessed, lol. I really appreciate all the nice comments made. They're helping me start this new day with a much better outlook and perspective. I seriously was sitting at rock bottom last night, which is kind of a good place to go, since after that there's nowhere to go but up.
I know it's cheesy to quote movies, but when shit like this happens I try to think of things like the line from Batman Begins.... "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up." And also from the new Rocky, though I don't have it memorized it's something like "Life isn't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can be hit and keep going" or something like that. So I fell hard, took a serious beating in all senses of the word (the fight really was a war), and now it's time to get back up and keep going.
Ah the fucked up ideas I used to have and then write down...
The Streets of Eternity
I lit my cig, or as those British blokes may say, ‘I lighted my fag,’ but I hate to call a cig a fag or a fag a cig, or to compare a cig to a stick or an ass goblin, I don’t know, but cigs outclass both and even more, like woman and myself, but that isn’t the fucking point, ok? The point is I lit the cig and then something happened, then something else happened, and then I found myself strapped down to a bed, naked with my arms spread, legs spread, limbs tied to bedposts by leather, that sort of thing. At least I’m on my back, I thought, which means that I probably won’t get anything up my ass, like a coke bottle or a plunger. Ouch.
In front of me, standing at the base of the bed, a red head, slim with the tall black leather boots, garter belt, leather bra, spikes around her limbs and a long black whip in her hand. And she was whipping me with extreme accuracy on my nut. Not nuts--nut. She would scream, “left nut!” and whip, hitting that nut, oh so accurate. The pain was horrible, stinging and then I couldn’t breath. It was like having a sunburn slapped, then being punched in the stomach. I won’t say it was the worst pain in my life, cause everyone always says that and then they write another story and they say it again, fucking lying monotonous cliché line users, but it was bad. And good. The masochist in me must have come out because my cock was rock hard, then:
“Right nut!” whip!
“Left nut!” whip!
“Right nut, left nut, ahahahh right nut!” whip whip whip.
Scream. Pain, pleasure, I didn’t know which, and I was screaming;
“Oh god, ouch, yes! Stop, ahhhhhh, no, ahhhhhhhhh, god, ouch, yes, yes, oooooh, no more, yes, ouch, Jesus save me!, god more!, no more! Help help!, god please don’t stop!, the pain! Yes, no, yes, you bitch, die!” and just wailing my head off. In pain, fear, pleasure, joy, hate, rage, stink or who knows what form I yelled in, maybe all of them, but she just kept whipping each nut while my cock laid hard on my stomach, pointing to my head, saying “Hahaha! Like what I got you into!!?!?”
Eventually I passed out. I just couldn’t take it anymore, whatever it was, whatever feeling I had towards this nut whipping, I couldn’t take and I was out cold.
I woke up with a red ball in my mouth, leather straps around my head holding it there, Pulp Fiction style. What woke me up? Oh there is the cause, that leather wrapped red head is riding me. Up and down on my cock. And her hands each have a nipple, mine, and she’s twisting them like maybe if she twists far enough my cock will grow. Right nipple for length, left for width. So she twists and rides, and she rides well, like a cowboy on his trusty steer or a Texan on a lawnmower, or a fucking crazy red head nymph in leather ripping a guy to shreds with her pussy and sexual lust. No, definitely not like a cowboy or Texan. It was that last one for sure, but she had moves, amazing unheard of things. It felt like there was suction in there, like my prick was being pulled into her body by a huge vacuum cleaner, and little fingers on the sides, massaging it in this amazing, profound, mystical way. It was so good, amazing, mind blowing, and I came with a loud grunt and a shot that she must have felt in her pancreas. Then, slowly, but quickly, my dick became limp, shrinking, falling, until, plop, it was resting on my stomach. She uttered a sentence; the first since I awoke, her moans having ceased.
“Oh fuck no you don’t cock sucker, you little prissy boy, you queer, you do not go limp on me!” with this rage in her eyes and face.
Red leather reached to the bed stand, which had a candle in a skull candle holder, and pulled out some sort of pale rod. She extended it, grabbed me by my tip, and then pulled with determination. She was gonna get this thing going again. I watched limp warrior extend, in length, no width, and then she wrapped some straps from the weird rod around it, and some how it held my pecker up. Then she rode again, moaned and moaned, pinched and bit my nipples, began slapping me across the face. I didn’t sign up for this, I thought to myself; I really don’t think that I signed up for this.
Finally, just before my nipples fell off and my face had reached a nice color of red from the slapping, she came. She came with a wolf like howl, then scratched her nails down my chest, drawing blood. She farted loud, and took a nice shit. A big juicy one, right onto my balls. My left nut is bigger than the right, and it got the largest deposit. She reached behind her, came back with a Billy club, and knocked me square on the head, knocking me out cold, again.
***
They kept me chained naked and gagged, except for when fed, for at least two weeks. There were no windows, and I lost track of time. I say ‘they’ because there were other girls who came to use me. Blondes, blacks, Hindu, hippie brunettes, fat, skinny, old and young. All sorts of things were done to me and my body. One of them shaved off all my hair, head and eyebrows included. Another bit the arches of my feet until they bled. Yet another dripped frozen lard on me and licked it off when it melted. There were cuts, hot wax, mousetraps, and so much more.
I was thankful though, for three reasons. One, I always got laid, even if it was for longer than I wanted and in ways I didn’t completely enjoy. Two, there were no guys, thank god. And three, nothing was ever inserted into my ass, but one girl did lick my asshole… such heaven.
I must have fucked 40, 45, 50 girls, I dunno, but it was amazing. I slept between rapes; I guess you could call them that. Yes, between rapes and feeding I slept and dreamt dreams of mountains and skulls.
Finally, one day, I woke up with these rags of clothes on, in the gutter of a dirty street with shitty little stores lining it, and I was soaking wet. I looked up to see a cow pissing on me. I just let it fall. I checked my pockets and found fifty dollars US and a pack of cigs with a lighter.
“That’s what you get for picking up girls in India,” I told the cow. I slowly got up, smelling like cow piss, beer and sweat, lit a cig, and walked down the road. I stopped at the first guesthouse I saw and got a room. After inspecting my room, a bed and a sink and a hole in the ground, I went out in search of a bar, and maybe a woman, but no fucking red heads.
~~~~
That's it for today. Hope you liked it. As always, please leave a comment on your way out. And if you missed the earlier stories posted and enjoyed this one, here's links to the rest.
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YOU WILL NOT GET THIS ELECTION 
