It's funny today I made a bunch of tips and it's kind of a rush. I made about $200 in 7 hours which is a far cry from the $25,000 in 7 hours I used to make on occasion but it's not bad for my current position.
I didn't get off in time to hit up Food Not Bombs but that's ok. They'll survive, I'll survive, we'll all survive.
I spoke to a wise friend about A (sex addict/current crush). It was very valuable we had a really nice conversation for like an hour and a half. Basically, I need more information. What does her sex addiction actually mean and what does it entail? Is she actually not dating for 90 days? Is she abstinent? If not then it's time to ask her on a date. If so then it's time to be a supportive friend even if that lands me in the friend zone if I'm not already there.
It's kind of funny though. The last crush that I was talking about I ended up sitting next to her at the movies tonight as friends and there was no crush left whatsoever. She is just a cool woman. That could be what happens here too but we will see. I'm crushing too hard over these women though. I need even more women in my life or maybe not. I was reading up on a sex addict website that the key is to let the feelings "starve and die" so in a way I am doing the wrong thing by going on Tinder a bunch, and checking out Pornhub. It just makes me horny and crazy all the time. That's when I need to watch some BreadTube vids, listen to the local DSA podcast, or read up on some anarchist theory or whatever.
I feel like A might have complete control of the situation. A sex addict has experience and powers. Why has she decided to seduce me? She has said that I am her idol. I am out of my depths here. I was hoping she would be at the meeting tonight. You ever have a connection with someone that is kind of like a drug. It is many times the man that has to make the decisive move. I want to be finished with suppressing my flirtations and charisma I just want to be in a dating situation for that. Or just not give a fuck and unleash the power level in front of all of the AA crowd. Oh well, I'm just tired but can't quite sleep yet so I am just ruminating on the situation. Why am I fixating on this woman? It was our recent conversations. She is a different kind of woman but full of sexual charisma. I feel like we could talk for hours, fuck for hours, and talk for hours.
It's my birthday today. I think there are always some reflection around these times. My parents offered to take me out to dinner. I wanted to try this sushi restaurant downtown. It ended up being really expensive and I felt uncomfortable about how expensive these pieces of fish were. I just didn't like the whole vibe of the place. Playing like fancy club music and all the decor. I felt like a class traitor in this place. I ended up getting a bunch of nigiri for way too much money and then thoroughly enjoyed it. It was delectable. Ugh. Now, I just feel dirty about the whole thing.
Then I went out with some friends. The sex addict from the last blog ended up sitting next to me. She was touching me a lot. It made me slightly uncomfortable. I've never met someone like her. She may have some sort of spell on me. We were at a crowded table and she was talking to only me for a long time as if no one else was at the table. That made me slightly uncomfortable. But then I realized I would actually just like to talk to her with no one else at the table. Conversation opened up a bit and I felt more comfortable but then I realized the conversation with her was much more interesting. She was giving other people attention but I wanted that full attention back. I want her touch and attention. I want to date her but she isn't going on dates yet. I want her to wrap those long legs around me. I want to see that ass in reverse. etc. but I don't want to fuck with her recovery (or mine). I have this relationship with her as basically a wise friend or therapist when needed which may or may not be sexy. I shouldn't even be worried about what is sexy. She is a sex addict in recovery meaning I would be a shitty person to try and manipulate that. But I feel like she knows all of this and is also very wise herself. I am actually trying to be anti-flirtatious and anti-charismatic. And I don't think her touching was flirtatious... I was happy when she sat down next to me but also maybe dreaded it a little bit because I don't know how to act around her. The more I get to know her the more I want to spend time with her but she told me she isn't dating for 90 days and is abstinent from sex and I want to respect that. I guess just keep seeing her when I see her and try and find some other candidates to date. I want to be supportive of her recovery first and foremost she just put a spell on me that I can't seem to shake. Tinder sucks. For some reason I look at my Food Not Bomb comrades as comrades not potential dates. I need women to come into my life to shake me from this spell. Or just have a sexual relationship with the sorceress... This is why they say in AA that it should be the men with the men and the women with the women. I don't think it was a good idea for me to get that intimate with her the other day. I am not a therapist. I haven't taken any hippocratic oaths. I am just some guy who hasn't gotten laid in far too long and I have got plenty of issues of my own.
"You see, I learned how to win a little at a time. But finally I've learned this: if you're too careful, your whole life can become a fuckin' grind."
That quote from Rounders is hitting me so hard right now.
Despite last year being my best year so far, at this point in time I'm not sure if I 100% love this game or 100% hate it.
Keep grinding? meh, move up stakes or go home? fuck man.
I don't know. I was talking to a friend today who was struggling quite a bit. I remember when I was in early recovery I used to compulsively write journals and it got me through some sketchy times and suggested that she keep a journal. It got me thinking that journalling still gets me through some times so I'll write one. But I don't really feel an urgent need to get stuff down. That woman ended up sharing quite a bit to me on the walk back from the restaurant. I hope she can find some peace tonight. She thanked me for being her therapist for the night. I do what I can. That's really my mo these days. How can I be useful? She is a sex addict with 11 days with out sex and is going a little crazy. Part of me wants to be that guy that picks her up and we go back to her apartment and share some orgasms and more intimate conversation but for the better I am not that guy. It actually feels better to be there for someone who is struggling and suffering than the gratification of flirtations and fucking. We should all be in this together. Yeah, she would feel better getting some clitoral attention and vitamin D but I am not going to be that guy to fuck with her recovery. Not at the moment at least... No tellin' what tomorrow will bring.
Food Not Bombs was cool today too. I realized one of the people there is the first ze/zir person I've ever met. Ze is super cool. It feels weird and clunky to use these pronouns to be honest. Just takes some getting used to I suppose. The oven broke at the headquarters so we had to split up and cook the food at different peoples' homes. The only prep work was mincing up some garlic which I did pretty quickly so once we were at our comrade's house it was mostly just chilling and talking as the food cooked which was cool. These Food Not Bombs people are really my people. I'm so glad I jumped off the cliff and finally went.
The new job seems ok. So far I actually make more on slow days than I did at Whole Foods and I think I prefer the work over making pizzas all day and cleaning up. We will see.
We will see.
What else?
I wish I could write blogs like Mark Fisher but that is just like unreasonable I think. He may be the best blog writer I've ever come across. Really one of the best writers I've come across. I suppose just writing personal journals comes more easily to me. I don't know if I ever have the hankering to write essays supported with all sorts of sources. That takes a lot of work. I would know I'm a history major. On big projects I felt like I had to be an expert on every source and it was kind of maddening. Although typically to make an argument you just need to dig through the databases and library shelves to find the "correct" sources. Many sources are typically pretty easy to just throw out depending on the argument. Then the attention to detail needed with all the footnotes was always a pain in the ass. I don't feel that I missed out on not going into academia. Today was a good day. I just need to figure out how to structure my life so more of my days can be like today. It might start with moving from full time to 30ish hours or less if I can swing it. It could also start with doing a job that is actually useful. If I could find a NGO that suits me that doesn't have dubious donors I think that is the goal. There are so many things I'd rather do than work. Some may think that is laziness. I just think it should be normal. I'm sick of my labor being exploited. I'm sick of the way the oligarchy is structured. Like I had a dinner with my parents and family friends who were all boomers. I had to hold my tongue so much. It is appalling what they actually believe. I was angry. Mark Fisher says that political anger fends off depression but the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says that resentments will get me drunk. I think they are both right so it is a slippery slope. I am doing more work with unions with I am absolutely loving. I am one that believes in worker collectives rather than the government as being more effective for change. That's where the true power lies. Bernie is no savior but it certainly wouldn't hurt if he were in the White House.
I think that's about it. But I will say it again that everyone should check out Burial.
Why do I have this image on my phone? How did I come to acquire it? How did I find time to put in this many sessions while working full time and make more than double my income in less than a month?
Easy. Get lied and manipulated to by your own company to the point you have to let them call your bluff and just walk out the fucking door. Yeah thats right. Remember that offer of 52k I supposedly had? It was bullshit. It never materialized. Week after week I kept getting the run around on my actual start date with excuse after excuse about budgetary delays, finance department being slack, director of HR being on vacation, and on and on and on. I got sick of it, it was clear they were just trying to get a technician at a discount stringing me along for as long as I was willing to tolerate it, so I walked.
Yeah baby thats right, I told my boss I would be taking some time off and to get back to me when that offer is put in writing. I took my last 3k in my checking account and went to run it up, and run it up I did. Clearly my hourly is absurd, although funny thing is it didnt really feel like a heater. It wasnt like I was making boats and flushes nonstop. I just did what I always did, played a lot of TPTK type hands and iso'd with draws that hoped to build equity postflop. I mean when people are floating every cbet with ace high or bottom pair it's not like you have to do anything special to beat them, just hope your hands hold by the river.
So I ran up a 10k roll and then the inevitable happened. My company FINALLY fucking put an offer in writing. Thats right they let me go for 3 weeks without a peep before begging me to come back, but only because someone else quit. Is this really the kind of company I want to work for? The kind that would just ball faced lie to me to exploit me and only when they are pushed to the brink do they finally do the right thing?
To top it all off they REDUCED their initial offer! They said the best they could do was 50. I mean honestly how slimy do you have to be to offer someone 52 as a lie just to string them along for months and then when they tell you to fuck off you come back with an even lower offer bUt iT's Fo rEaLz tHiS TiMe Yo!
Siiiiiigggggghhhhhhh.... So I took it, because $130/hr is not sustainable at 2/5 and last time I tried to make a go at poker on a 10k roll I went busto. Or did I? I didnt lose my money, I just spent it. I upgraded every standard of my lifestyle so that I was living "paycheck to paycheck" as a poker player, only able to put in enough time to pay the bills. So I did the smart thing and took my 10k plus this job and moved back right? Well thats what I did. I write this from my own apartment that is embarrassingly devoid of any furnishings besides a King mattress I just bought, but I'm working on that. And now the grind is back on Monday-Friday.
I guess I'll just ignite the rest of my roll and get a couch and TV and stuff so I feel normal and can at least bring a girl home or something.
Feeling very conflicted.....I was back, back in the game. I was ready, and I just walked away.
It feels like this site needs some content. SO HERE I GO HO HO HO! Is this blog content or filler. There are no visible ads on the site. The quality of the content of this blog is surely up for debate.
Anyway, today was my last day at my last job. It was ok. I didn't get a break per usual in the mornings. I made a lot of pizzas. God I am sick of making pizzas. It felt nice walking out that door today. I had a meeting with the bosses after I was done. It went ok. They all thanked me a lot and I realized afterward I wasn't thankful myself. 2 of the people are or were chefs and they didn't really teach me anything. They both could have given me a break the last 2 days but didn't. I still like them though. I am just fault finding. They asked me out for a beer afterwards and I just coldly said "I don't drink." I realized later I could have offered up that I could have a sweet tea but I just coldly said "I don't drink." This shit probably doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I probably won't care about this interaction in 1 year or 5 years. And honestly, I think I rather literally starve than go back to work there. Amazon is the fucking worst. The bureaucracy, the managerialism. They fucking put surveillance cameras in the break room. And it was getting worse by the day. Good fucking riddance. Now, I need to get super active in this Food and Beverage union organizing. My goal is to get a union into Whole Foods someday. Of course, it's easy to say this as I can no longer be fired there. So many things to do and I'm right into the next job. It sucks.
So, I hit the snooze button for 3 hours this morning. 3 fucking hours. So ridiculous. I got up in time to serve at Food Not Bombs though. Then I got invited to a DSA (Democratic Socialists of America) party. It was cool. There were a lot of people there. It was actually a little overwhelming. Most of the people there knew each other and I knew a handful somewhat. I like socialization but I am certainly not a social butterfly. There was also a conflict in which I was supposed to go to a labor meeting for the food and beverage industry but didn't receive any of the texts or I really don't even know what happened but I was down to go to that meeting. I was down to do whatever. I am trying to be friends with these people and am genuinely just trying to help. I believe in Food Not Bombs, I believe in Bernie for President, I believe in unions in the food and beverage industry. I am willing to spend my time on all of these things. It's a little frustrating to hit some snafus but it's only natural eh?
Anarchy exists today. Most of the people I was with were anarchists. We support Bernie out of harm reduction and perhaps a first step in Revolution. I think some anarchists can take it too far. I commented that it would be interesting to see Bernie's actual beliefs when he gets out of politics and she commented that his only opinions are what temperature to eat soup or what socks are comfortable and that the only value of Bernie in office is to drag him out of the office and shoot him in the head in the streets. I also got into an argument about ACAB with some people too. We were just getting into a good discussion when her girlfriend came in and she was cool too but it kind of killed the discussion. My position is that probably not all cops are bad. There position was that they are ALL complicit. Fair enough but also at the end of the day it is the structures in place that create all of this anyway. I will say there was this one time I forgot to close the garage door and the neighbors called the cops. They thought I was squatting at my parent's house. There were no guns drawn or any use of force. I simply got my id and they were on their way besides telling me to remember to close the garage door in an authoritative manner.
I would have liked to see more talk about praxis. Memes and this and that is only so entertaining. I don't know. I mostly just wrote postcards for the Bernie campaign and took it all in. As I said I'm not a social butterfly. There were a lot of people there I would like to spend more time with. So, again, it's just about being consistent and saying "yes" to things.
I am just here at Midnight EST alone with not much to do per usual.
/userpoll/draw.php?poll_id=5032
Poll: Did you have a Valentine's Day date?
(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
Comments? How did your day go?
My phone died. I had to dig up some old timey alarm clock to wake up for work. Then I went to work and now I am here... alone... Midnight EST... per usual. My phone might be ok though.
Everything's so fragile. My phone is fragile. My car is fragile. My CPU is fragile. I AM SO FRAGILE. It feels like anyone of these things could go at any moment.
REMEMBER DEATH
My mom has this awesome Don Drumm cat that is staring at me:
Art is great but I don't currently have any inspiration. I painted the most bright and beautiful woman that I have ever painted the other day and then I painted flowers blossoming, a river of blood, a rising son, and Japanese characters. I just like the aesthetic of the most right pink, blood red, and BLACK. Obv getting the right pink is the most important. It has more white than it than red that's for sure but not too much. It's just the most right pink.
I will go to Japan one day. I must. If I had the money I would fly to San Fransisco spend some time with some friends there. Hopefully, with one of the loves of my life. My God that red backless dress she wore the last time I saw her... No, that wasn't the last time I saw her but still... and one of my best friends. Fly to Hawaii because I've never been there and it seems up my alley. Fly to Tokyo to take that in, go to Kyoto, actually, aren't there people here who live in or have been to Japan? Maybe go to Seoul. Home of Byung Chul-Han, Bong Joon-Ho, and SlayerS_Boxer.
I painted a prototype the other day. Damn, that red backless dress is a prototype. I've had a crush on her since high school. There are women everywhere. I was sitting next to 4 women last night that I could reasonably date.
Japan, prototypes, Love...
And I'm so God damn broke. Probably in more ways than one. Fuck capitalism. My therapist says there is nothing holding me back as far as she knows. I don't think I'm withholding anything. Yeah, it seems like I have a pretty good grasp on my Bipolar I and alcoholism. I don't know man. I don't think a Doctor can really relate to what capitalism is like. My psychiatrist/therapist has admitted as much. Capitalism is great for them. They get paid well enough and have plenty of patients to keep them fat and happy. Capitalism chews the patients up and spits them out back in the Doctors' offices. And I sit here fantasizing about Japan and prototypes and Love while I'm heavily in medical debt. The Loser is me. The Winner is Capitalism, the Doctors, the Pharmaceutical companies, the Politicians that get money from the Pharmaceutical companies...... I have no choice really. At least it seems that way. I need the Doctors and the meds. The politicians can fuck off. The greedy CEOs can fuck off. Don't even get me started on the insurance companies. You want to talk about resentments? I got 'em. They say that resentments are the number 1 reason for relapse. Well, I'm full of them. I could probably type myself into a rage right now if I felt like it but I don't feel like it. I wish Food Not Bombs was tomorrow so I could get into this with all of them and have a good time. I am glad I have that as an outlet now. We can all rage against the machine a little bit and have a good time and make some food for some people.
One day I will give this website up. This blogging up. But I do like a lot of the people on here. Oh well. I think tonight I will probably spend the rest of my day with David Foster Wallace (RIP). Not a bad Valentine's Day. May we all live with grace because life is hard and death is so terribly final.
I've been dabbling with poker here and there for the past year and I probably need to take it a bit more seriously if I am going to see any positives coming out of poker. I've been making decent progress getting myself setup/organized, studying more, but I have a long way to go.
I live in New Jersey, so I have been playing StarsNJ on and off for the past year and put in ~30k hands. Since I have a job volume is difficult, but there is definitely room to improve in this area going forward. I have access to some pretty decent training content, which seems to be readily available these days. I have also decided to reinvest in a rented server and hope to become reasonably competent with Pio analysis this year.
Decided I'd make a quick blog post here so that I could get a bit more motivated with my goals.
I am going to make my initial set of goals fairly achievable so that I can build from it rather than set something unrealistic from the start
-8k hands / month (I realize this is low but given my setup I feel like this is a good starting point for me).
-devote time to Pio every week. I know this is vague, but i'm not even great with PIO yet. same thing with my volume goal being low at 8k hands, probably my PIO hand review goal will be something like 1-2 spots a day to start.
-get better with game selection, dont be in a rush to play higher stakes or battle regulars. exception for higher stakes (200nl and 500nl) is going to be when this huge whale sits in the daytime and I'm able to get a seat. otherwise, going to be focused on 50nl and 100nl for the time being.
-get better with using stats/databases/huds. this is an area i really suck at right now. currently using hem2 potentially switch to pokertracker or h2n.
I'm doing ok in other areas of my life (financial, fitness, learning, etc) probably the only thing lacking is socialization which I don't really have time for at the moment.
Anyway I guess that's it. Feel free to ask any questions.
I got a new job. Now I just need to put in my notice. The team leader works a different shift than me so I have to go in on my day off tomorrow. I so just want to go to Food Not Bombs and blow it off to another day but I have to do it tomorrow. Fun, fun, fun, we're having big fun. There's always something ya know? Then there is being the new guy at the job and the job being new. More fun. I think it's something that had to be done. For people wondering I don't think I'm going to disclose what the new job is yet. It's not higher status or higher paying than my current job but it isn't in culinary which I need to get away from. That's really it at the end of the day. I want to get away from culinary and don't see a future there. I also had and will continue to have for about 2 more weeks a bad experience with Amazon. They don't treat labor well. That's how they make so much money. They are greedy. I need to break ties with Jeff Besos as a master. The more I type the more I realize I need to get my ass in there and give notice and make it official.
Amazon really is a horrible place to work if you are labor though. I have a friend of a friend who works a white collar job there and apparently it is pretty awesome but for labor God no. It's probably the same at most corporations. Hopefully, I have found a situation that is tolerable. Hopefully, more than tolerable but I won't get my hopes up too high. Even NGOs are funded by entities. Is there no way out? No exit? Well, there is an exit but hiems would prefer I don't talk about it. So, I do the best I can. That's all I can do. And I pray for the day we can break up the oligarchy.
I went to Food Not Bombs today! The anarchy is strong there. I was in the right place. We prepared some food and supplied the local community with a meal. It felt like I was at home. It was nice to just be extremely openly leftist in real life and accepted for it. It was also nice helping out. There was a reduction in food waste and some hungry people got some good food.
Then I got invited to go over to a friend's house after the meeting. She was celebrating 1 year sobriety. She has a boyfriend but I can't help but have a bit of a crush on her. I think this one might pass on pretty soon but I just really like her as a human being. It's one of those things that would probably pass if I had more contact romantically with one or two or three other women. It would just fall by the wayside. But this just lingers a bit. I'm not going to pull some moves to try and win her over like Henry17. I think that's a bit of a douche move. There are plenty of fish ya know?
It was just good to get out and socialize ya know? I think I may just be content with a group of leftist friends and a group of drunks. It crosses off a lot of the boxes. I mean these were some hardcore leftists and anarchists and like 20 of them in total. It was fucking eye opening. I have been kind of a closeted leftist and anarchist most of my life and then I go to FnB and there are all these flaming leftist and anarchist just fucking riffing and going HAM on every topic. And I still need my hardcore drunks and addicts that get me. I add some dating to the mix and a new job and c'est magnifique. Also, easier said than done and I realize I am typing right now but it has been working with less saying and more doing. I think my therapist helped me too. Saying she wants to just kick me off the cliff edge if she could. I just like writing and thinking after a day of doing stuff. Hell, I like writing and thinking at many times throughout the day. I wish there was more activity here and in the general forums.
There is also the idea of fear of failure and fear of success. I definitely don't fear having more and better quality friends. That always enhances life. Getting more involved in leftist activity and organizations I've been meaning to do for years. Helping people is always a positive in my life. I think dating adds a little interest to life that is much obliged. And of course having a job, a project, that is worthwhile and enjoyable is an important aspect of life.
Am I forgetting anything?
That is another thing. I am always obsessed about the good life. I contemplate the good life because I am obsessed with the contemplative life. There is something to be said for just doing. There is something to be said for thinking and writing and discourse. Life is complicated. People are complicated. Consciousness is complicated. God is complicated. I want to know scientifically what works in life. I also don't mind anecdotally what works but every human being is different. Playing the harp isn't going to work for me but painting does. Human connection, nature, exercise, eating reasonably well. getting in a sane daily bread, et al.................
Joy, literature, knowledge, wisdom, I mean I could go on forever. Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, Stoicism, et al...........................
I start like breaking down if I try to think about everything at once. I'm just glad that I've read what I've read so far and that I need to continue to read. But having conversations with people is incredibly valuable as well. Then we die. The End.
Best state for home base for tax purposes?by Nitewin, January 13
7 States don't have income tax: Alaska, Florida, Nevada, South Dakota, Texas, Washington, and Wyoming.
Out of these states, which is the best to live in? I'm looking at Vegas or one of the big cities in Texas. I could potentially get a duplex and rent out half. What do yall think?
Poisoning all expensive filet mignon and red wine was just an idea. A provocative idea. Not a particularly practical idea.
Kalle Lasn of Adbusters advocates for a "True Cost." The "True Cost" of a fossil fuel burning car is not $35,000 but should be the total cost to ecology. I have no idea how this would actually get put into effect and the economists will never go for it but it is an idea.
I've had violent fantasies in my past but where I am today is somewhere between "resist not evil" meaning I don't even resort to violence in self-defense and resorting to violence in self-defense is ok. Then it goes on to the idea of is revolution self-defense against the tyrannical masters or is it something else?
I am in a better place though. "AdBusters" and "Manufacturing Consent" as well as "Meditations" are on my night stand currently being read. I've got a Jesus Christ, Gandhi, MLK, Mandela vibe going on in my room with paintings of Christ and statues of the Buddha to keep me company. I don't even really know what that last statement even means. I'm just surrounding myself with the right people is what I am trying to convey. Too many people to even mention. Too many books to read.
To be honest I think I may be a bit depressed. I don't feel like trimming my beard, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, getting some food. I'll eventually likely get to all of these things but I found myself in a bit of a reverie after reading AdBusters I thought I might flesh it out with some writing and thinking and writing and thinking.
I think we need all the ideas we can get if we want to avoid extinction or even just some fucked up mental dystopia. I agree with Peter Joesph that the mental dystopia will reach us first in about 50 years pretty much on the same timeline that the fish disappear. It's pretty much over at that point. The increase in suicides is yet another marker that shit ain't right. It will only increase if changes are not made. Part of me wants to say fuck it let's enjoy life while it lasts but number 1 I am not really enjoying life and number two the suffering of future generations weighs colossally on my heart. If it were the case that everyone takes a pill and goes into extinction hand in hand that is one thing but the next 200 years is going to be fucking brutal if we don't make some changes asap.
2020 and 2019 reflectionby Into Infinity, January 04
looking back at my previous post:
-break 1200 for bench/squat/diddly (hoping for 275 bench, 425 squat, 495 DL, current is 205/355/385, being pretty conservative on squat and DL post injury)
*donate $1/lb to a good charity. a couple of years ago when i first broke 1000 i donated to ALS.net, hoping to do something similar
-cut back down to 175 around june/july (current 195)
lol... not even close.
bench - 185
squat - regressed to 315, feels bad man
dead - 405
total miss, totaling around 900. bad year hampered by back injuries and cutting weight. haven't really dieted a whole lot but added a ton of cardio and cut down on my snacking. i felt like as the year went on, i stopped caring about pushing big numbers and more on explosiveness/flexibility
ended the year at a BW of 180.
-add 30k to taxable investments - currently putting 0 in 401k because i don't see myself staying long enough to get any vested amount (100% after 3 years). right now i'm currently putting in 900/check, this will have to be increased to 1250/check
probably a spew, added about 7k to BTC + about 30k to investments, but withdrew 10k from an expected break up with GF... ended up buying a JLC reverso with that money lol (also bought a speedmaster while i was in vegas for my birthday)
-play these at a decent level:
totally slacked on piano, shrug.
other notes:
got a raise at work, which was nice. currently looking to move out of CA by the end of the year, but sucks because i'm probably priced out salary wise.
2020 goals:
* actually put a decent effort into learning some statistics. feel like i'm probably capped out as far as technical skills go without learning hardcore R/python
* started playing poker again a little bit on ACR; played a small game with work people which i took down for about 800, made me want to play again. only playing micros, lets see if i can build a roll from scratch
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